Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
update
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 758479" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Trying</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this happened yet again. Your son has all of the power and capacity in the world to solve this for himself. What he needs is the motivation and the tools. The motivation can come in an instant. The tools take time and work. Let him now see what he can do. If you have spoken to your parents, asking them to cease enabling, it's their choice whether to continue, and it's your son's choice whether to accept. These are all grown adults. You have no control here and no more responsibility.</p><p></p><p>Right now it's time for you to recover and to focus upon yourself and your life, with your husband. Others (and me too) have suggested Al Anon, online meetings. This program will give you the support and the tools to change yourself, to center yourself in you, rather than in your son and his drama.</p><p></p><p>This is time to rest, too. I sure do hope you continue posting. Now, more than ever. While you've been on this board, your focus has been <em>what should I do about him. How shall I help him </em>The questions all of us come to if we stay here are <em>What should I do for me. How can I help myself?</em></p><p></p><p>There will be feelings that come up. Your son will try to rope you in. There may be talk of suicide. He may up the ante with his words and deeds. Or for a while he may turn to your parents, and drop you. You will have feelings about that. And he may come back, once their support has ended. I don't know the scenario that will be. But what I do now is that this phase is not so simple. Lots of feelings come up for us. It's a time we need a lot of support. What worked for me is I posted on many, many threads, not my own. This centered me in my strength. I could have a strong voice in terms of other people's lives. In time I became stronger myself.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting. It helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 758479, member: 18958"] Dear Trying I am sorry this happened yet again. Your son has all of the power and capacity in the world to solve this for himself. What he needs is the motivation and the tools. The motivation can come in an instant. The tools take time and work. Let him now see what he can do. If you have spoken to your parents, asking them to cease enabling, it's their choice whether to continue, and it's your son's choice whether to accept. These are all grown adults. You have no control here and no more responsibility. Right now it's time for you to recover and to focus upon yourself and your life, with your husband. Others (and me too) have suggested Al Anon, online meetings. This program will give you the support and the tools to change yourself, to center yourself in you, rather than in your son and his drama. This is time to rest, too. I sure do hope you continue posting. Now, more than ever. While you've been on this board, your focus has been [I]what should I do about him. How shall I help him [/I]The questions all of us come to if we stay here are [I]What should I do for me. How can I help myself?[/I] There will be feelings that come up. Your son will try to rope you in. There may be talk of suicide. He may up the ante with his words and deeds. Or for a while he may turn to your parents, and drop you. You will have feelings about that. And he may come back, once their support has ended. I don't know the scenario that will be. But what I do now is that this phase is not so simple. Lots of feelings come up for us. It's a time we need a lot of support. What worked for me is I posted on many, many threads, not my own. This centered me in my strength. I could have a strong voice in terms of other people's lives. In time I became stronger myself. Keep posting. It helps. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
update
Top