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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 758563" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>Trying ~ It's so hard to accept we just don't have the control to make our troubled children do what's right for themselves, or stay out of trouble or danger. We just don't. I used to jump through hoops, flaming hoops, trying to help my son. And then all of the mental gymnastics, what does this mean from him, should I have said something different, did I use the right tone of voice, should I do this or not do this? Over and over, day after day, week after week until it turned into years. With no change on his part, just more of the same.</p><p></p><p>I don't think it's abnormal for an adult child to call their parents when things get difficult, vent a little (respectfully), and get some empathy, some actually seek and take advice. But what's abnormal and does no one any good is the extremes ours go to. The chaotic and drama filled lives they lead, the same stuff over and over, like ground hog day. He's in a bad place for sure, but only he has the control to get himself out of it. </p><p></p><p>Right now the roller coaster is quite a wild ride for you, so many rapid ups and downs. One of the things that helped me, but not while i was in the thick of rapid change with my son, was some of the Eckhart Tolle readings and youtube videos. Other authors too but he's a gentle who I like. </p><p></p><p>Picture one of those long hugs that makes you forget everything that's happening around you for a minute. I'm sending you one of those.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 758563, member: 22840"] Trying ~ It's so hard to accept we just don't have the control to make our troubled children do what's right for themselves, or stay out of trouble or danger. We just don't. I used to jump through hoops, flaming hoops, trying to help my son. And then all of the mental gymnastics, what does this mean from him, should I have said something different, did I use the right tone of voice, should I do this or not do this? Over and over, day after day, week after week until it turned into years. With no change on his part, just more of the same. I don't think it's abnormal for an adult child to call their parents when things get difficult, vent a little (respectfully), and get some empathy, some actually seek and take advice. But what's abnormal and does no one any good is the extremes ours go to. The chaotic and drama filled lives they lead, the same stuff over and over, like ground hog day. He's in a bad place for sure, but only he has the control to get himself out of it. Right now the roller coaster is quite a wild ride for you, so many rapid ups and downs. One of the things that helped me, but not while i was in the thick of rapid change with my son, was some of the Eckhart Tolle readings and youtube videos. Other authors too but he's a gentle who I like. Picture one of those long hugs that makes you forget everything that's happening around you for a minute. I'm sending you one of those. [/QUOTE]
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