Updates...son finally got a job

[Drowninginthis]

So after 8 months of trying really hard to NOT look for a job, my son is now employed doing landscaping for his girlfriends' father (as we all know, a seasonal low paying job) Basically he only wanted to work in a place where he knew somebody so he would be more comfortable. Crazy right??? His girlfriend has enabled him by supporting him financially through this. Feel sorry for her. So now comes the time when I am going to speak with him regarding paying me back for the $3200 loan. Sigh, can't wait to see how this goes. I have only had minimal contact with him since Christmas, and I feel so much better emotionally. Still feel guilt/pressure to reconnect and give him another chance, but the fight or flight in me and anxiety says " no way your life is so much more peaceful, calm, and happy; run and don't look back."

 

[Tanya M]

Well the good news is he working. That is a positive.

His girlfriend has enabled him by supporting him financially through this. Feel sorry for her.

If your son and this girl are anything like my son and the girlfriends he has had, the girlfriend will grow tired of footing the bill.

So now comes the time when I am going to speak with him regarding paying me back for the $3200 loan.

Good luck! I have been down this road with my son. I purchased a car for him and he was to pay me $100 per month. He made one payment, the other $3900 I will never see.

Still feel guilt/pressure to reconnect and give him another chance

Let the guilt go. You have nothing to feel guilty about. If you are enjoying the peace then continue with that. I have very little contact with my son and it's only via private messages on Facebook. I will always love my son but my life is so much better without his chaos and drama.

 

[Ironbutterfly]

This is good news, a job. I agree, don't allow guilt to seep in. Go slow with reconnecting and have low expectations for anything more.

 

[Albatross]

Drowning, I have always been of the opinion that the body doesn't lie. Peaceful, calm and happy is a good place to be.

Yes, good news that he is working. Not an ideal situation, but still a good experience and maybe a confidence booster. I hope it works out for him.