Visit from problem child

[Copabanana]

billiesue. hi. welcome. i am glad you posted.

i will make a list of my thoughts, the majority of which, you mention.

i agree. your son seems like he is doing well. a job. college. self-supporting. loving.

i hate the marijuana too. i took a hard stance. it had no effect.

everything you describe about his life and choices seems within the normal range. unless i missed something, in the main,he seems independent, resourceful, responsible and goal oriented. he seems to be in a stable, long term relationship. the outburst i would not like but it happens.

he seems to have picked up the slack when he needed to.

that the girl is sweet and seems normal is a blessing. however this relationship may or may not prevail. so i would TRY to stay calm.

the gift to brother may only be generosity. sometimes the worst thing does not happen.

i agree. i would keep open lines of communication and try to be open to the good things. glass more than half full. way more

take care.

 

[Billiesue]

I really want to thank everyone who took the time out of their day to respond. It means so much. I would try to respond more to your posts but my knowledge at this point is limited. Although you have my compassion, as I have read a lot of your stories. I admire all of you for being so strong. It is amazing at what some of you have had to deal with, with these children/young adults who I know you all love, like I love mine. Thanks again.

 

[pasajes4]

Billie, Keep reading and post when you feel like it or need to. We learn from each other. We can learn from you. You raised a young man who is goal oriented and seems to be a loving young man. Yes, he smokes pot, but he is functioning. Many of our kids are not.

 

[Kathy813]

I admire all of you for being so strong.

Trust me. None of us started out strong. We all were exactly where you are at the start of our journeys. There will come a point when you just won't want to live in the chaos and drama of your loved one's drug use. Just like the addict/alcoholic has to hit bottom . . . we do, too.

At that point, we start to change. It is easier with help, though.

In the meantime, your son is functioning at this point. All you can do is hope and pray and try not to let it keep you from functioning. Either he doesn't have a problem and will be able to live a normal life or he does have a problem and it will come crashing down on him. There is nothing you can do in either case.

My therapist always told me that my daughter was going to do whatever she wanted to do and that there was absolutely nothing I could do to change that. She was right.

~Kathy

 

[Littleboylost]

I'm just curious. When we found out he was doing this. He had bottles of synthetic urine,the hand warmers, I'm assuming to keep the synthetic urine at room temperature, some thing you use to grind it up with. A big thing to smoke it with he had bought online (his Dad found this, I didn't see it, dad said the receipt for it showed he spent a lot on it. I'm thinking 200+ dollars. Some thing with coffee grounds in a paper towel tube. And one more thing. The gift he brought his brother was about 130.00. I think a lot for someone living on their own and working at Mcdonalds to have money for. Considering this, would you still not be that concerned. I know me worrying won't help anything anyway but does this sound like more than what you thought or is it about what you would expect with pot use? Thanks

A grinder an expensive bong and money. He may be selling.

 

[Copabanana]

gosh. i forgot about the synthetic urine. i do not understand what this would be for except to pass a drug test.

that concerns me.

 

[GoingNorth]

A grinder an expensive bong and money. He may be selling.

Well, most weed these days is sold in 'buds', so one needs a grinder to grind up the bud, or part of it, into a smokeable texture and aid in getting rid of stemmy stuff. Those have been around for a looong time, probably 45 years at least.

He may be selling, as indicated by the money. The bong? Modern glass bongs and bubblers are works of art in some cases. I don't smoke pot; haven't since 1981, but several years ago I contemplated buying a bubbler simply because it was one of finest pieces of glasswork I had seen since I got back from Europe.