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General Parenting
Well.... guess the signs keep pointing to father is better.. not a dream
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<blockquote data-quote="Confused" data-source="post: 609561"><p>DDD, No worries <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Everyone incl U have been wonderful to me!!!! As for their dad, he has been an Alcoholic, abuser towards woman and men, womanizer, etc....the only rules he has is to shower and clean up after themselves.( those are good rules) His answer is the belt if anything goes wrong. He allows them to watch R movies, including sexual content, always talks bad about me and his first mother of his kids in front of the kids ( talked bad when here) and has even told his oldest kids, one of his ex wives kids were dead ( they werent). He also will give kids alcohol, (not ours cuz I put it in courthouse paper) and is an occasional father, even when in same town. Plus he teaches prejudice to the kids( that he just said the other day so that hasnt changed). He tells <em>me</em> to tell the kids Happy birthday etc...he wont unless the mood strikes him. All this for 25 years. Plus, a couple of his friends I dont trust with our kids... too many comments on teens. And their father sees nothing wrong with it. He says the one particular man is still visiting him.. uggh. So all sudden, in two years he does none of the above he claims. Well, of course he denies most of it anyway. So thats why Im wandering if he really changed or not. No counseling for father ever as he claims, ( but as much as he use to lie, what if he did get help or knows he has issues) just several jail times and not getting caught.</p><p></p><p>I want to believe it this time, I really do for <em>all</em> his kids sake.Thats why I said its like hes a brand new man. I know people can change if they want to.... like me.But I know certain disorders you need help. Drama here is what my son starts at half to most of the time <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I know my son does act like this with his father once he gets comfortable again, but maybe even if he acts that way, he will still be happier? I want both my kids here of course, I just feel like I have let them down. Maybe I have listened to their dad, my gpa and that one counselor too much. I am the type of person to let myself get walked on and believe the first putdown. </p><p></p><p>Im not jelous of her, Im jealous of the fact.. maybe shocked that an abusive man, a father when he feels like , can find love or whatever, and I cant. Theres no way I would want him or any of my exes back. Kinda that saying been there done that not going back thing lol. I used to believe I was a great or at least a good person, I saw the good in everyone even if they have bad. I always tried fixing every bodies relationships,friendships etc. I treat others how I want to be treated, respect care, concern. So in my heart back then, I never had a doubt who I was, I knew I was good mom etc. Now I just listen to everyone. I dont stand up for myself either, so another reason I believe its me. I know I have messed up and made mistakes as a person and a mom. My kids are my life</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Confused, post: 609561"] DDD, No worries :) Everyone incl U have been wonderful to me!!!! As for their dad, he has been an Alcoholic, abuser towards woman and men, womanizer, etc....the only rules he has is to shower and clean up after themselves.( those are good rules) His answer is the belt if anything goes wrong. He allows them to watch R movies, including sexual content, always talks bad about me and his first mother of his kids in front of the kids ( talked bad when here) and has even told his oldest kids, one of his ex wives kids were dead ( they werent). He also will give kids alcohol, (not ours cuz I put it in courthouse paper) and is an occasional father, even when in same town. Plus he teaches prejudice to the kids( that he just said the other day so that hasnt changed). He tells [I]me[/I] to tell the kids Happy birthday etc...he wont unless the mood strikes him. All this for 25 years. Plus, a couple of his friends I dont trust with our kids... too many comments on teens. And their father sees nothing wrong with it. He says the one particular man is still visiting him.. uggh. So all sudden, in two years he does none of the above he claims. Well, of course he denies most of it anyway. So thats why Im wandering if he really changed or not. No counseling for father ever as he claims, ( but as much as he use to lie, what if he did get help or knows he has issues) just several jail times and not getting caught. I want to believe it this time, I really do for [I]all[/I] his kids sake.Thats why I said its like hes a brand new man. I know people can change if they want to.... like me.But I know certain disorders you need help. Drama here is what my son starts at half to most of the time :( I know my son does act like this with his father once he gets comfortable again, but maybe even if he acts that way, he will still be happier? I want both my kids here of course, I just feel like I have let them down. Maybe I have listened to their dad, my gpa and that one counselor too much. I am the type of person to let myself get walked on and believe the first putdown. Im not jelous of her, Im jealous of the fact.. maybe shocked that an abusive man, a father when he feels like , can find love or whatever, and I cant. Theres no way I would want him or any of my exes back. Kinda that saying been there done that not going back thing lol. I used to believe I was a great or at least a good person, I saw the good in everyone even if they have bad. I always tried fixing every bodies relationships,friendships etc. I treat others how I want to be treated, respect care, concern. So in my heart back then, I never had a doubt who I was, I knew I was good mom etc. Now I just listen to everyone. I dont stand up for myself either, so another reason I believe its me. I know I have messed up and made mistakes as a person and a mom. My kids are my life [/QUOTE]
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Well.... guess the signs keep pointing to father is better.. not a dream
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