Went Too Far Update 4

[Skool Teacher]

Hi All,

It's been a while and it's time for an update. For those that need a little background... My daughter age 20, stole from me and I put her out. She's gradually escalated her behaviors to get attention, waste my time, my money and to get people to feel sorry for her and to make me look like the villain.

I have remained stead fast. I have not allowed her to come back home nor have I given her any money. Since our last verbal blow out and negative text message exchange, I've have no contact with her. When I want to know what's going on I just check her Twitter page because she's dumb enough to advertise her life on there. I have not been in contact with her other than letting her know that her checks are here when they come from her job in very brief text messages.

Her fake seizures, hospital visits and ambulance rides were all covered by my medical insurance. I'm removing her from my health/medical insurance. I'm still waiting to see how much my auto insurance is going to go up as I still have a claim against my insurance that has not been settled.

She was living with 2 girls and stayed with them for 2 months. She is now living with her boyfriends mother and is being charges $200 for rent. Her boyfriends mother put her own son out but is allowing my child to stay with her. Strange, you bet but it is what it is. She is not here stealing from me or driving me crazy... well not on a daily basis anymore.

We had a verbal exchange in person today and let me just say she is even more delusional than she was when I put her out. She came over to get her check and was going in the mailbox. I just happen to be home today and saw her. The lady she stays with decided to call and let me know she drove my daughter over to get her check. This lady also called me to let me know that she was letting my child stay with her a few days ago. I told the lady thanks and asked why she called. She said my daughter asked her to call me. Ok???? Why does my child care enough to do this??? So I took this as a maybe for me to reach out and I sent my child an email that I thought was positive telling her that I spoke with the lady she is now staying with and I was praying for her and hope she was getting her life together and doing right.

My child was rude, disrespectful yelling, blaming me and in denial about why she is not longer living here. She told me she didn't love me, wants me to take all her pictures down, told me I replaced her with my husband, she believes in burning bridges, and she wants me to be done with her. She's mad that I didn't believe she had 2 seizures and that I told her to go to hell. The lady had to tell her to calm down and stop yelling several time. The lady tried to get us to talk calmly and to get us to hug and move on. My daughter is very angry and refused ownership of her actions and all her lies. She blames me for everything that's wrong with her. She even told this lady I've abused her. I'm completely done now.

I told the lady thanks and it was nice to meet her. I told her God bless her that she even wanted to help her after witnessing how disrespectful she is. I told her good luck and to please tell my child to get her address changed with her job so she doesn't have to come back here to get her checks. The lady called me to let me now that she was extremely angry that my child disrespected me but she was going to keep working with her to try to help us get past this place that we are in. I just told the lady I hope that she didn't end up getting disrespected in her home too.

I'm completely done until my child gets herself together if ever. I don't want to talk to her, I'm not texting her or emailing her anymore. I'm really hurt and disappointed beyond measure and I'm so scared that she is going to continue down this path of destruction until she hits rock bottom or until it's too late. I'm sad in my soul and I don't know what else I can do but to continue to pray that she finally sees that what she is doing is not causing me any harm but is destroying HER! She needs professional help and Jesus. I love her with all my heart and I always will and I told her this today but she is not the person I raised and she is not hearing anything anyone is trying to tell her to help her. Again, I'm done.

 

[BusynMember]

I am really really sorry. It sounds like she was horrible. She wont last long at the place she is staying, but its interesting that she is willing to pay rent.

in my opinion distance is a good idea and perhaps therapy for yourself will help you cope with this trauma. And it is a trauma.

Im glad that you are doing what is best for you. Keep us posted. Big hugs.

 

[ksm]

I am so sorry you had to be disrespected like that. But good that someone else witnessed it... So glad that your Difficult Child has a place to stay and that you don't have to experience that on a daily basis.

Prayers...hang in there! Hope things improve for you, and eventually Difficult Child will be motivated to change. KSM

 

[New Leaf]

Hi Teacher, I am so sorry for the pain you have gone through and now this......it is hard.

in my opinion distance is a good idea and perhaps therapy for yourself will help you cope with this trauma. And it is a trauma.

I agree wholeheartedly with SWOT. When things hit this level there is not much one can do, but work hard to switch focus and work on you. You have value and you matter. We teach our d cs what we will put up with. The level of disrespect is beyond measure. I have, and would do the same, take a step back and concentrate on you. It is not that you do not love you daughter, you do, but her actions are unacceptable. Hopefully, time and distance will help her reflect on her own actions.
Hugs to your hurting heart. I have been there, and it is so very, very hard.
Prayers for you, and prayers for your daughter that she sees the light.

(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[Tanya M]

Thanks for the update and I'm so sorry you had such a rough encounter with her. I know how much those kind of ugly words can hurt.
The crazy thing is, if you did take down all of her pictures, then next time (assuming there would be a next time) that she came over she would be upset that you took down all of her pictures. Our d_c's run on raw emotion without thinking through what they are saying or doing, they just react.

I applaud you for holding your ground.

You are doing really well.

 

[Albatross]

Thanks for the update. I have had that happen too -- one of d.c.'s friend's parents took him in even though they kicked their own d.c. out. Very strange. It didn't last long. It is nice of this person to try to patch things up between you and your daughter, but I agree with the others above, sometimes it (or our d.c.) gets to the point where we have to just have no communication with them for awhile. I too say good for you for standing your ground. Keep us posted.

 

[TheWalrus]

Sometimes they leave us no choice but to completely disconnect for our own peace and sanity. No one should be treated that way by another person, much less their own child. I hate this for you. Stay strong.