What is wrong with people - So tired of women and the games.

cubsgirl

Well-Known Member
I have always done better working with and communicating with men rather than women. I usually don't even go to the women's only functions at church because women in general drive me nuts - with the exception of the awesome warrior moms on this board. I thought it was just me.
 

Abbey

Spork Queen
So sorry, Starbie. I wish I had great advice. I'd start playing her game...document, document, document. In my experience, though, once you are 'targeted' you're basically screwed. Women have much more tenacity to pursue this than men. No polite chit-chat, no personal info...just do your job. Don't keep ANYTHING of yours in the work place. It sucks to work under those conditions.

Abbey
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Star... Sorry if this sounds cynical, but... in order to really CYA, please do not take your lunch bag into the building. Eat outside if you have to, or go get it and don't let it leave your presence until you are done... Last thing you need is them tampering with your lunch, and then pulling a drug test and "proving" that you are a drug user...
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Star, I don't know this lady (although I do think you got a clone of my old manager), but there is more going on here than you're catching. This is more than just a cat fight, power play, or even jealousy. That's probably going on too. But I'm guessing this manager has something going on under the table. You posed a threat to that...........OR..........she's worried someone may be catching on to her little scheme / scams, and she'd deflecting attention/ guilt onto you.

My manager hired me to work xmas temp in a major retail chain in the toy dept. Only thing I disliked about the job was having to run the cash register. It was a PITA to stop and ring up video game sales all day long when trying to stock or help customers. The job wasn't hard, I caught on fast. Fellow employees in the dept liked me cuz I can't stand to stand around and do nothing.....so I stocked if it was slow or cleaned up the dept ect, and I never called off so they knew I'd always be there when scheduled to work, and I'd cover and come in for them if they had to switch their schedule around or had something come up with one of their kids ect. husband was unemployed, we needed the money in the worst way, I wasn't going to snub my nose at more hours. Several weeks in, once I'd got the hang of most of the policies and the job itself I started noticing stuff. Manager called off at least 3 times per week, the other days she'd either be late by a couple of hours or leave early by a couple of hours. Our full time girl at the time was doing all of the managers work, because even when manager showed up........she went off shopping or chatting with her friends around the store. That was bad enough.

Then......I noticed she started marking items "damaged" and marking them down and ringing them up for herself and friends. I asked the full time girl about it because it was obvious most of the items were just fine. She said anyone who ever said anything, lost their jobs. So I kept my mouth shut. Who is going to believe a temp employee over a manager who has been there 6 yrs? Then she hires two 20 something girls for temp for xmas too. Now up until this point, all employees in the dept would "share" a till. Someone would sign it out in the morning (whoever was first in that day) and work it for the most part, but if they were busy or on break they'd leave it unlocked so the other people could still use it. Suddenly we had our tills not balancing at the end of the day. We're not talking small sums of cash here either. Every time it happened the two new girls were working. So.....common sense, we avoided letting them use the till and told the manager. Manager made it a point she couldn't stand the two new girls (she had a thing against black people), but she said she couldn't prove they did it. We still wouldn't let them near the cash register. Money still came up missing. Now we all trusted each other and knew we weren't taking the money..........FYI manager was constantly in and out of the tills. Store manager was told by the cash office what was going on, alerted store security. The new girls hadn't touched a till in 2 wks by that point. Manager blamed the new girls.......and because money had come up missing at first back when we were letting them use the till.....they got fired. Manager was happy as a lark. Until she found out we went over her head to store manager and told him we refused to share a till anymore due to it. He backed us up. If you got the till that morning you used it all day, no one else, including manager, was allowed to touch it. if you went on break.....tills were switched out and then switched back when you came back. Money stopped coming up missing.

Enter a long series of boring events of manager breaking rules and leaving her employees, especially our full time girl, high and dry and taking the blame. Full time girl sees a chance at management, we tell her to go for it as she's already doing the job. She does. Now there is no full time girl anymore, which means nothing is getting done. I need the hours, no one else wants it in the dept so I apply for it. Manager tells me no it's filled. (when no one wants it??) Turns out she wanted to give it to her friend. Union (like I said that's when I found out we had one lol ) said no way, I was senior to her and forced her to put me into the job. From then on it was war. But she didn't know she was dealing with one of the most stubborn women on earth......and I needed that money. I just smiled and did my job. It wasn't my fault the store manager caught me doing her job far too many times, I certainly didn't tell him, nor did I complain.

Then easy child was deathly sick, husband had finally by this point gotten a temp to hire job, and I couldn't leave her home alone. I called in at 5am giving them plenty of time to find someone to cover. Manager was POed (a year had passed we were back at xmas season again) Manager told me I either came in or I was fired. I was like seriously?? I'd been there a year and never missed a single day, never was late, and often came in on my days off and you're gonna fired me because my kid is sick?? I told her to take her job and shove it.

I expected that to be the end of it. I mean c'mon, it's retail for pete's sake. I knew my fellow employees would be upset because we were friends. I knew she'd have a rough time finding anyone to touch that full time position, due to dealing with her crud. But in the scope of things it was really a nothing job.

Store manager calls me. I liked to dropped the phone. Never heard of such a thing. First thought was what did the so and so try to pin on me? Nope. He wants to know what happened. So I explain trying to just give him the facts. I could've given him and ear full, but I didn't, I'd quit, it was over. My fellow employees call me begging me to come back. I said no, she'd went too far. Store manager calls me and begs me to come back, I'm offered a raise....a rather big raise. He had bawled her out and she was under investigation for the matter. I said no, while that was nice, she'd make my work even more hades because of him bringing me back and probably set me up for something. The man kept calling me......he was even going to move her out of the dept if I would come back. (at least someone was impressed with my work ethic)

That started the snowball effect. Store manager started his own investigation. He questioned the previous full time girl who was then a manager. She was so furious over what manager had pulled........she wound up telling him all the bull manager had been doing for years. Other long term dept employees followed suit, even many from other depts who up until that point were afraid to say anything. Few weeks later manager is escorted out of the store in handcuffs.

Seems she was up to far more than any one person had ever imagined, but once all the pieces were put together........well, let's just say she got a few years free room and board.

I never went back. Although there were times I missed it. I was rather shocked how things worked out.........never dreamed it would've played out like that, or even that she was up to so much illegal stuff right under so many noses and that she got away with it for years.

So, you just never know Star. You just may have opened the door to them being able to do something about this person.
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
OMG Star! She's not a chubby redhead with a Tennessee accent, is she? This all sounds soooo familiar, and I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of that crappola just to keep a job! I know exactly how it is to have to contend with someone who is determined to do you in and how miserable working under those conditions can be because I went through it myself. I have no idea how these people pick their targets but I have my own theories and some might apply to your situation too.

The one I worked with wasn't my boss but she was in the same department, second in command, and had been there forever. She was snotty and arrogant and considered herself to be the ultimate authority on everything! There was a good reason that the rest of us referred to her as the "sacred cow of the business office! She was a grown up version of the school yard bully and was allowed for years to get away with treating other employees like dirt! I have no idea how it even started but her nose went in the air every time she saw me, as long as I've known her. With the State, we have lots of turnovers at the top, and the first thing she did was to immediately begin svcking up and ingratiating herself with management, then she'd use this "closeness" to bully other employees with her supposed power. In truth, the ONLY thing she really knew about was her tiny little area of responsibility, in just about everything else she was almost painfully ignorant! Just an undereducated ignortant bully who had been sitting in the same job for 30 years! Her "confidence" was just a big bluff and she disliked me intensly because she knew that I could see right through her, I was ON TO HER! I would never have wanted her job and she knew it - to me it would be extremely boring. But she saw me as a threat to her position. Not to her job, but to her supposed "status". I was the one who refused to be bullied and intimidated, the one who stood up to her and her BS and gave it right back to her, the one who could and would point out her monumental ignorance if she gave me half a chance. I documented every conversation and practically dared her to do it! I stood up to her enough that she finally stopped the overt attacks but Lord only knows what kind of koi she passed on to management about me. I know this doesn't help much because my solution to the problem was an early retirement ... just couldn't take any more of the BS from this situation and others like it ... but it might explain the motives a bit. This lady sees you as a threat - you're smart and work hard and in time you will make her look bad, so she wants to get rid of you!

And I think Lisa may be on to something too! You're probably not the first one she's done this to. And she may very well be up to something and wants to cast the blame on you! Or she's up to something and knows that it's just a matter of time before you start noticing things she doesn't want you to notice. My son went through something very similar when he worked for a large auto parts chain store. He came in at 1:00 pm and stayed to close up the store, usually by himself, at 9:00 pm. By their manager's orders and against all standard practices, the morning people would open the registers, then the afternoon people would just come in and take over the same registers without balancing them out first. So if they came up short, they didn't know who to blame and it started to be blamed on my son! When he closed up at night, some of the registers would come up short, always by even amounts, like someone had just taken a ten or a twenty dollar bill out of the drawer. He even started making up shortages out of his own pocket so he wouldn't be blamed forit and lose his job. Then ... some parts started turning up missing. If someone had ordered the wrong part or if a part was returned, they were put in a room to be shipped back to the manufacturer and some of them were coming up missing. The manager accused my son of taking some of these parts home and reselling them ... I honestly don't think my son has ever stolen anything in his whole life! And parts continued to disappear from the store. About a month later he called my son in and said that he could either resign or he would be fired and the store would prosecute for the thefts. He resigned and got a better job almost immediately! But, funny thing, after a while, parts started disappearing from the store again! And not long after that, he heard that the MANAGER had been caught taking parts home and reselling them! He was fired and arrested. Had my son been fired from his job and charged with theft, he might have had grounds for a lawsuit against the store, but because he officially resigned, there wasn't much he could do. But the manager did all that, put my son through all that, to deflect the blame away from himself, but it eventually caught up with him. This could very well be what's happening in your situation too. I really hope that you can get it all straightened out, that they start keeping a close eye on the ogre, and that you can keep your job. Sometimes life just stinks, but whatever happens, you're a survivor and you'll land on your feet!
 

tiredmommy

Well-Known Member
I wholeheartedly agree that this is most likely deflection. I bet she's post voiding sales or not ringing sales and pocketing the cash. No sale and refund abuse abuse are other obvious possibilities. The other things to keep an eye out for are employee discount abuse and playing with inventory records.

She's dirty.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Well whatever has been going on? I don't think this LP guy is buying her snow storm of Star is the devil. If they do? Then they deserve to continue to operate like they've been doing, and I deserve to move on to somewhere else.

After talking to DF I said I think if they're going to let one of us go? They should let both of us go. Me for breaking procedure, and her for being a bully.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Well after everything I know, I almost puke every time I see two little cookie cutter type figures on TV coming on saying "Hi, Im Good and Im Will"
 
H

HaoZi

Guest
Personally I think it's on them to teach you proper procedure in the first place - how could they hold you responsible for something when they didn't teach you, just tossed you in a position of responsibility with no to minimal training? Might as well give me a gun and cuffs and let me go arrest people and call having a difficult child real life training, right? What? You said no, it doesn't work that way, I'm not allowed to go enforce the laws as I think they are because I have a difficult child? I'm not properly trained by people that really know how to do that job? Really?
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Well due to the fact that I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair snorting - they took down they

"You're our GREATEST TOOL" poster in the break room. Okay seriously - I"M your GREATEST tool? (OMG I'm still laughing) okay I'm on the floor again. lol hahahahahahahah.

And your BEST ad campaign? GIVE - IT- GOOD?? I told headquarters I had orders for nearly FIFTY tshirts - FIFTY @ $12.00 a piece - YOU DO THE MATH - Can I sell or what? But serioulsy on a BILL BOARD? YOU POST THAT? as opposed to what? Give it bad?

Yeah now their campaign says - It's new to us - LOVE IT - MUCH better. Much more APPROPRIATE - MUCH MORE thought went into that. It says - YUP we'll take it, and glad to. Thanks!

Give it - GOOD? Sounds like bend me over rover..........sorry - if you were drinking something and now it's on your desk but seriously.......it's crass.
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
Star, if they were that strict, it doesn't seem like they wouldn't have any employees left! Everybody makes mistakes but how can you be expected to follow a procedure that you were never told about? Or how could you be blamed for something that a very experienced employee who was supposed to be showing you the ropes had told you was OK? I just have a feeling that she's done this before to other people, plenty of times, and maybe everyone else is afraid to speak up or have the same thing done to them! She didn't just get that sneaky and deceitful and underhanded when you walked through the door! She's an old hand at it!

And about the men vs. women as bosses, I would prefer to work for a man any day! I worked for 40+ years and I've had a lot of WONDERFUL male bosses, with only one stinker in the bunch, which is a pretty good average. And that one stinker was young and stupid, was on a real power trip, had some real issues himself and had let himself be influenced by the chubby redheaded one with the Tennessee accent! And even he eventually straightened out ...after I filed complaints and grievances on him! In all those years I've only had a few female bosses and most of them had lots and lots of issues. The last one was a ravin' looney who went home for lunch every day and came back to work drunk! I know there's some good ones out there ... I've just never had one myself. It's something to do with the authority and how they handle it, not just being female. Our department was made up of twelve female employees and we all got along wonderfully ... as long as the chubby redhead with the Tennessee accent stayed out of it!
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
Well - Yes you are correct SEVERAL people have complained 'about' her and her lack of work, and her what for lack of words I would say getting that little bit of power and letting it go to her head. I mean SERIOUSLY? THIS is where you choose to throw your weight around? Here? OMG it's laughable. My first day in the office - the new guy came in and said "Oh I didn't know you were my boss too." And I said "I'm not - I would much rather you consider that we work TOGETHER, than ever say 'this is my boss' - you get more work done that way and our goal is to get the work done, have fun doing it - and go home at night not exhausted." He said "I like that." I said good - lets see what we can get done today. What would you rather get started on? This or that - your choice." My co-worker has different way of handling things and comes out with "We're doing it my way, I'm the manager, and I run a tight ship." type of attitude. That's fine - that's her way. Either way -work has to get done. I just prefer my way when I'm there.
She constantly talks about others when they're not there. I don't. She puts them down - If you are doing something the wrong way - I will go talk to you and ask if you need help. Show you the right way.
I treat people the way I want to be treated. I talk to them the way I want to be treated. I work the way I'd want people to work for me if I was writing the pay check. It's how I was raised, I can't change it.

How she conducts herself is her business - but I figured by leading by example she would pick up on a few things - and NOPE - This is HER world, it has to be all about HER, take the attention off her for a second and she'll find a way to put it back on her. She even made a comment the other day - when I didn't talk much that I didn't talk much. I said nope. Monday was three years since I lost our middle son. Okay not a huge deal I didn't cry, or fuss - just statement. She's lost a son too. So yesterday I said today would have been the day we buried him, and Monday when I was so quiet? Was the day he passed away. Did she say OH I'm sorry, or OH I didn't realize that's why you were so quiet? Nope - she said "OH..HUH - look at these shoes, MAN I like these shoes - I would look good in these shoes - Look Ya'll look at these." I just shook my head. Thanks for the sympathy - between SH(^ and syphillis in her dictionary. Unless it's about HER? It doesn't matter. Cut your hand? Keep working. Cut her finger? Stop production. Things like that. She likes to start junk with everyone and then jump back and let everyone solve it. Its childish - she uses the manager thing to start the problems and then jumps back and lets everyone else solve it.

The other people that have said things? Just quit.....the one guy that did give her grief? Did not take her ****. Got fired - for about the same thing. Reviewed under the camera. Now I'm not so sure - I'd love to go talk to him. I just may. The other guy that complained about her talking on the phone? Got transferred, but he insisted it was his own asking. It seems now that I think about it - anyone that complains about her - either gets fired or leaves. Hadn't thought about it until you all said it. The last manager quit - and he told ME it was partially to do with her. I doubt he'd admit it to anyone - but he did say it.

Anyway - like I said - she needs help - and why they keep hanging on to her is a mystery to me. But whatever will happen will happen.

Hound - I don't blame you for not going back -

Donna - I'm sorry you had to take early reitrement - I hope old Reds hair burns. And I aint talking head
 
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