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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 760673" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Confused. There are different ways to look at this. I agree with much of what Busy writes. In my town, there is free legal help through legal aid, and through the courthouse. </p><p></p><p>The fact he did not want to sign an agreement cuts both ways. You did not agree for a full 3 months. Your permitting son to go for a visit during summer vacation was just that. And it was contingent that son be safe and not in harm's way. Son with his own mouth told you that it is dangerous there and illegal things are happening. </p><p></p><p>Is son in school already? Is he close enough for you to drive there? Is there somebody (a man, preferably) who can go with you? Do you have the papers from the legal custody decision? </p><p></p><p>Was it decided between you that he would be enrolled in school there? </p><p></p><p>____</p><p></p><p>Now the thing is this. I am not justifying here how your ex is. And I am not minimizing the dangerous things he does. But the thing is, there may be advantages for son to be where he is, if this is where he wants to be. You are the only one who can evaluate this. Your son was giving you a run for your money, and it sounds as if he is acting better with his Dad, for whatever reason. And he is saying now, he wants to stay there for a while. I am not taking a position, here. I don't know anybody involved. </p><p></p><p>What I am saying is you need to think through what is in your son's and your own best interests, here. If it is a truly violent and abusive situation, there's no leeway as I see it. Then you have to act.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 760673, member: 18958"] Confused. There are different ways to look at this. I agree with much of what Busy writes. In my town, there is free legal help through legal aid, and through the courthouse. The fact he did not want to sign an agreement cuts both ways. You did not agree for a full 3 months. Your permitting son to go for a visit during summer vacation was just that. And it was contingent that son be safe and not in harm's way. Son with his own mouth told you that it is dangerous there and illegal things are happening. Is son in school already? Is he close enough for you to drive there? Is there somebody (a man, preferably) who can go with you? Do you have the papers from the legal custody decision? Was it decided between you that he would be enrolled in school there? ____ Now the thing is this. I am not justifying here how your ex is. And I am not minimizing the dangerous things he does. But the thing is, there may be advantages for son to be where he is, if this is where he wants to be. You are the only one who can evaluate this. Your son was giving you a run for your money, and it sounds as if he is acting better with his Dad, for whatever reason. And he is saying now, he wants to stay there for a while. I am not taking a position, here. I don't know anybody involved. What I am saying is you need to think through what is in your son's and your own best interests, here. If it is a truly violent and abusive situation, there's no leeway as I see it. Then you have to act. [/QUOTE]
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