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Parent Emeritus
When WE backslide
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 755117" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Busy, I think these lapses are normal, because these are our children we are talking about. And as such, we will always operate on a heart level when it comes to them. Which is why we got ourselves into enabling to begin with. </p><p></p><p>I think introspection is good. I think taking a fearless moral inventory of ourselves is good. I know I have made mistakes with my children. I have made amends. </p><p></p><p>I think what you don't want to lose sight of is where you are now with Kay. How you gave and gave and gave some more , and were treated with disrespect and contempt in return. There is a reason why you are where you are in your relationship with your daughter .Don't let fear, obligation, and guilt trick you. </p><p></p><p>As your hurt, pain, and grief start to ebb away , you can send Kay love every time you think of her. You can pray for her . It doesn't matter so much whether she is an addict or not. She is a human being and she is your daughter and you love her. And we must love ourselves first. Her behavior over the past years have made it impossible for you to have a normal relationship with her. You had to stop giving in order to protect yourself and your family. </p><p></p><p>Kay will no doubt be terribly upset about Amy getting custody of Jaden since she has no idea it is coming. And I can see how you worry that you may never see Kay again after that. It's a very difficult situation with many layers of feelings and maybe you just need to sort through all of that for yourself. </p><p></p><p>You always did the best you could do with the tools you had at that time. We learn and grow. Focus inward where all of your answers and all of love and peace lie. </p><p></p><p>Much love to you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 755117, member: 24254"] Busy, I think these lapses are normal, because these are our children we are talking about. And as such, we will always operate on a heart level when it comes to them. Which is why we got ourselves into enabling to begin with. I think introspection is good. I think taking a fearless moral inventory of ourselves is good. I know I have made mistakes with my children. I have made amends. I think what you don't want to lose sight of is where you are now with Kay. How you gave and gave and gave some more , and were treated with disrespect and contempt in return. There is a reason why you are where you are in your relationship with your daughter .Don't let fear, obligation, and guilt trick you. As your hurt, pain, and grief start to ebb away , you can send Kay love every time you think of her. You can pray for her . It doesn't matter so much whether she is an addict or not. She is a human being and she is your daughter and you love her. And we must love ourselves first. Her behavior over the past years have made it impossible for you to have a normal relationship with her. You had to stop giving in order to protect yourself and your family. Kay will no doubt be terribly upset about Amy getting custody of Jaden since she has no idea it is coming. And I can see how you worry that you may never see Kay again after that. It's a very difficult situation with many layers of feelings and maybe you just need to sort through all of that for yourself. You always did the best you could do with the tools you had at that time. We learn and grow. Focus inward where all of your answers and all of love and peace lie. Much love to you! [/QUOTE]
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