I'm sorry you had such a bad day, Janet. husband really does sound like there is something wrong, post-stroke.
Locking doors - we don't always lock up where we live, either. And the only time we've been robbed - we were home anyway, husband was in the next room and I had just come out of the bathroom to go into our bedroom. If I hadn't stopped to talk to husband, I would have seen the burglar's face... as it was, I saw the back of him as he went back out our window, left open in the summer heat.
And when this happens, it's not BREAKING and entering, because they didn't have to break anything to get in, they didn't break in anyway. It's just ENTERING. And, of course, theft.
Guns - we have very strict gun laws in Australia, following from the Port Arthur massacre about 11 years ago. The laws are strict but not stupid. Those who live on the land (or off the land) who need guns to shoot vermin, or to manage their farms, have certain types of guns (generally the ones they always used) available to them, on licence. And long before gun laws came in, the recommendation ALWAYS was to keep the guns in a locked cabinet, to prevent tragic accidents. It's what sensible farmers should do.
The guns that are banned in Australia are the military-type semi-automatic or automatics. The high-tech ones which won't just kill a rabbit, they'll slice, dice and mince it so fine there's nothing left to put in the cooking pot. Those guns will probably also take out half the cattle herd and most of the wheat paddocks, just in trying to shoot one rabbit, or kangaroo. The only people ever getting those were the hobby shooters (a danger to SERIOUS shooters) and the more fanatical/criminally minded. There are always exceptions, but as things are here, people who NEED guns and can give a good reason, can HAVE their guns providing they licence them and follow some rules (which are mainly for safety and record-keeping).
I think telling the police AND passing the serial numbers round the pawn shops is a darn good idea.
I hope things settle down.
One suggestion - a bit late now, but maybe for next time - when a shouting match starts, try to hose it down. Literally, if you have to. If both parties are shouting, the fight continues. But if only one is shouting and no apparent resistance is being offered, it should settle sooner. You and Cory need to switch off the "I must win this argument, I must defend truth, justice etc at all costs" and simply BACK RIGHT DOWN - for the moment. WHEN HE IS CALM then maybe you can say the reasonable things he would have heard, pre-stroke. And think about if - if you had quietly said to him, "Of course dear, Cory stole your coat, AND your leather jacket. And the torch too. Despite the fact that he has several coats of his own and it's been too warm to wear them, he still had to have yours. He's also taken the car, pawned the house, he's moved to Jamaica and none of us are even here talking to you now, we're all a figment of your imagination..."
Well, maybe leave off the last part of that, but sometimes agreeing, especially when it's absurd, can turn an argument on its head. If he HAS to be argumentative, he will use the very stupidity of it to attack you and say, "Don't be silly, woman! Why would he steal both my coats? It's not been cold enough to need coats anyway..." before he realises he's just undercut his OWN argument.
Post-stroke - he is probably forgetting where he puts things, is also angry at himself for forgetting as well as refusing to publicly acknowledge that HE has the problem. It's the ultimate in denial, and memory problems only make denial (and anger) easier to maintain.
And if all else fails - a bucket of cold water, literally. It stops fighting dogs, in their tracks. It's also more acceptable than a slap across the face.
I do hope things improve.
If you called the cops while he is raging, what would happen? What hospital costs would be incurred? I don't know (or understand) your medical system.
Marg
