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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 683774" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hopeful, I'm so glad to read every word of your post.</p><p></p><p>I love how you turned around multiple times and walked into the house. That is setting a boundary, and is a very visible, literal and mental/emotional way to show it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Peace comes when something changes. YOU changed. You first accepted what is in front of you---his illness right now. You accepted your powerlessness over another person's life (any other person, not just your Difficult Child). Then you worked to live with that acceptance (and that's hard). Now you have turned your energy onto yourself and your husband and your own life. It is an amazing journey to take these steps, and it takes a long time and a lot of hard work, but you are doing it! </p><p></p><p>Peace is at the end of this road, no matter what our DCs do or don't do. That is the promise of this work on ourselves. </p><p></p><p>You have changed the game. Now, he will do whatever he does. We hope and pray he will exhaust every resource and have to finally, eventually turn his attention onto himself.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, I'm with you. I call it Drama (same as Chaos). I want no part of drama. Whenever I encounter drama today (from anyone in my life) I feel an immediate aversion to it. I am repulsed by it. I start distancing myself from it instantly. I think Difficult Child and exhusband in his active addiction gave me a lifetime fill of it. Today, I'm with you. I want peace, joy, serenity and contentment. If I start feeling that is in jeopardy, I start setting boundaries. </p><p></p><p>So so very glad for you that you are in this place today. So hoping that in time your precious son chooses a new life for himself. He can start the process at any moment, and it's completely up to him.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 683774, member: 17542"] Hopeful, I'm so glad to read every word of your post. I love how you turned around multiple times and walked into the house. That is setting a boundary, and is a very visible, literal and mental/emotional way to show it. Peace comes when something changes. YOU changed. You first accepted what is in front of you---his illness right now. You accepted your powerlessness over another person's life (any other person, not just your Difficult Child). Then you worked to live with that acceptance (and that's hard). Now you have turned your energy onto yourself and your husband and your own life. It is an amazing journey to take these steps, and it takes a long time and a lot of hard work, but you are doing it! Peace is at the end of this road, no matter what our DCs do or don't do. That is the promise of this work on ourselves. You have changed the game. Now, he will do whatever he does. We hope and pray he will exhaust every resource and have to finally, eventually turn his attention onto himself. In the meantime, I'm with you. I call it Drama (same as Chaos). I want no part of drama. Whenever I encounter drama today (from anyone in my life) I feel an immediate aversion to it. I am repulsed by it. I start distancing myself from it instantly. I think Difficult Child and exhusband in his active addiction gave me a lifetime fill of it. Today, I'm with you. I want peace, joy, serenity and contentment. If I start feeling that is in jeopardy, I start setting boundaries. So so very glad for you that you are in this place today. So hoping that in time your precious son chooses a new life for himself. He can start the process at any moment, and it's completely up to him. Warm hugs today. [/QUOTE]
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