You know you're a parent emeritus when...

slsh

member since 1999
you have to keep track of how to get a hold of your child on dated post-it notes so you know what the phone # of the day is. I don't even ask for locations anymore.

May I just say that this detachment thing inhales extremely forcefully? :thumbsdown:
 

maril

New Member
Yes, detachment...inhales...lol!

Sometimes, I still miss my oldest being around. She is also hard to reach but not because of changing numbers - mostly, is just so busy with work, etc. (I should be glad that she is productive and not complain) I have more success with getting a response when I text her than when I leave a message in voice mail.
 

crazymama30

Active Member
So not looking forward to those days. I try not to read on the PE forum too much, it is just too much info for me some days.

Hope eventually he gets it.
 

CrazyinVA

Well-Known Member
Staff member
phone numbers, addresses, always changing. I'm not even sure my office manager has a current # for my kids if something should happen to me, now that I think of it.

How about this: "You know you're a PE when: you're so busy with doing things for yourself your kids have to schedule time with YOU instead of the other way around!'

That's what I'm working on ;-)
 
N

Nomad

Guest
Holy cow...

things are sounding familiar....


not only does my difficult child change her domicle frequently...her phone number changes frequently as well....

I keep changing it...constantly changing her phone number in my cell...

It is just another one of those THINGS that "inhales."
 

jbrain

Member
My difficult child 1 has actually had the same phone number now for about 6 weeks! She seems to "lose" all her cell phones. And, not only that, but she set up her voice message system. When I complimented her on that she said she finally figured out how to do it (what, after 3 or 4 years of having a cell phone?)

Jane
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
SLSH - I've eliminated this problem all 2 gether......

I've stopped calling him totally. Yup - you'd be proud. Three months ago instead of doing the Dumb Mom Dials Dude - I said THIS IS ABSOLUTELY my last phone call UNTIL - You get a job and get a phone of your own. I'm sick of the foster people saying "We'll tell him you called." and then never doing it. or the little girl that lives there saying "He's not here." when he's sitting in his room. So now if he wants to get ahold of US? HE calls ME. Problem solved.

I've almost stopped taking Prilosec....almost. The most amazing part of it all??? I get more calls NOW than I ever did when I tried to hunt him down to see how he was..ROFL. NO JOKE.
 

slsh

member since 1999
At least I'm in good company. ;)

It's not a matter of me trying to call him (I don't) nor a matter of him losing cell phones. I think he's flitting between places, doesn't have a permanent residence anymore. He doesn't have $$ for a cell phone (drugs are expensive, you know).

This actually came about because Figaro (thank you's cat) is almost 16 years old now and is not doing well. thank you wants to be here if we have to put Figs down, or be called if Figs goes on his own. When I told thank you that it was kinda hard to call him if I don't know where he is, he gave me another # - like the 5th or 6th since May. It's the "home" phone... I decided I didn't want to know who's home.

He's been okay about calling every week or two. And if I haven't heard from him in a while, I check his myspace just to verify activity - not that I would have a clue of what to do if there weren't activity.

I'm just ostriching it for the most part.
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
ostriching


<LI itxtvisited="1">Pronunciation: ost-riching<LI itxtvisited="1">Function: transitive verb <LI itxtvisited="1">Etymology: French ostrichee, from Old French ostrichier, from ost-+ -tachier (as in atachier to attach) <LI itxtvisited="1">Date: 16861 : to separate especially from a larger mass and usually without violence or damage
2 : disengage, withdraw

You always were good with words, Sue. :)

Hugs,
Suz
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
Oh, I know, Sue. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt....and some encouragement. Besides, if someone googles "ostriching" and this pops up, you might make history. :D

Suz
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Sue....ummm....just so ya know. thank you is entitled to a free cell phone he can get that has 70 mins a month that he could keep just for emergency calls to and from you. He can add more minutes if he wanted to but that would be rather expensive cause its like a tracphone. If you want info just ask me. It really is free for people who get any sort of government assistance at all.
 

slsh

member since 1999
Thanks, Janet. We're still trying to find a balance between enabling and helping. He's just making such a mess of things right now, I'm not inclined to offer any advice/assistance unless asked by him. I got a call from old CM at TLP yesterday that his landlord is trying to find him to get the key back, and get permission to get rid of his stuff (including a very impressive library of books). Otherwise, they have to go to court to evict him. Sigh.... I knew that his assurance that he had "taken care of it" 6 weeks ago was pure baloney. I had hoped he was telling the truth, that he was being responsible but... I knew.

We're just going to stay the course for now. Our door is open (figuratively) but he has to make the first move. girlfriend's enabling mother is not helping things in the slightest but... there's nothing we can do right now. So we wait, and try to plan for what to do and when to do it.

The hardest thing right now is just not knowing if he's as fully disabled as Boo (which is how husband is leaning) or if he does have the ability to function independently if he'd just get on with it (which is how I'm leaning). I guess time will tell. In the meantime, feels like an anvil is hanging over our heads. Blech.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Sue....why dont you get the cellphone for him and keep it with you. That way if and when he can use it, it is available. Heck...if you need to hand it to one of the other kids for an emergency they can have it. Its only 70 mins a month.
 
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