Thanks, Janet. We're still trying to find a balance between enabling and helping. He's just making such a mess of things right now, I'm not inclined to offer any advice/assistance unless asked by him. I got a call from old CM at TLP yesterday that his landlord is trying to find him to get the key back, and get permission to get rid of his stuff (including a very impressive library of books). Otherwise, they have to go to court to evict him. Sigh.... I knew that his assurance that he had "taken care of it" 6 weeks ago was pure baloney. I had hoped he was telling the truth, that he was being responsible but... I knew.
We're just going to stay the course for now. Our door is open (figuratively) but he has to make the first move. girlfriend's enabling mother is not helping things in the slightest but... there's nothing we can do right now. So we wait, and try to plan for what to do and when to do it.
The hardest thing right now is just not knowing if he's as fully disabled as Boo (which is how husband is leaning) or if he does have the ability to function independently if he'd just get on with it (which is how I'm leaning). I guess time will tell. In the meantime, feels like an anvil is hanging over our heads. Blech.