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I'm so sorry. I can so relate to the crushing disappointment and deep grief and despair. When will it ever change? So, today wasn't his day. He is somewhere doing whatever he is doing. Now it's YOUR DAY. I hope and pray you can focus on you right now, and do some nice things for...

This is a very important thing to read, remember, study and internalize. God has this. If not God (for some), a Higher Power, than you or me or any other mom. We cannot, we just cannot, walk another person's path for them. They have to do it. My prevailing image that I held on to very...

McMary, please keep us posted on how you are doing. We so understand here. The other folks here have compassion and understand, and also good ideas for you to consider as you navigate this tough journey. Accepting what is...is the hardest thing in the world. Letting our adult children...

4Tall, we're glad you're here. Ah, wow, your story takes me back. My son was challenging in high school (nothing like what was to come) and I slow-walked my responses to it all. I thought he was lazy, immature, late bloomer, lonely, sad....I had all kinds of thoughts about him that basically...

Pigless, I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. My son threatened suicide several times, and once locked himself in his dad's garage and texted his girlfriend a picture of his cut wrist. I called the police and went there and they took him to the hospital. He continued to threaten...

Weary Mother, bless you. It sounds like your daughter is doing what she needs to do as a grown woman in a tough situation. Figuring it out and taking responsibility. I understand for you, it's hard to hear, and you wish things were better for her. Let her make them better for herself, with...

Catmom, good Monday morning. Just catching up and hoping you are into a new week and looking forward to reclaiming your peace and your life. Your story, and bluebell's story, sound so eerily familiar---just like my story with my son. The big step to reclaiming your home as your sanctuary is a...

Bless you and keep you. I remember learning about anticipatory grief when my sister died so many years ago. She had been sick a long time and according to the counselor, I had started the grief process well before she finally died. He said, you may heal faster than others in your family, so...

Jesllo, you have gotten good thinking here from some seasoned folks. I read your initial post a couple of times. Like most of us, we are "all about them." We worry, we fret, we try, we "help"...over and over and over...and most of the time, nothing. ever. changes. It can seem endless. Your...

Abbey, thank you! What a wonderful post. I'm so happy for you and your family, and I hope and pray you will be okay through the throat cancer. My story with Difficult Child is much the same. He's now 27 and has 2.5 years of steady progress after 6 years of pure H___. Things can change! Thank you again!

BG, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious son. Please know we are here whenever and for whatever you need. I hate to hear this so very much. We care.

Tanya, I'm so sorry. I know your heart is broken about the choices he continues to make. I'm so sorry about your mother in law too. You are so healthy in the way you look at your own life and the lives of the people you love, especially your grown son. But I know the hurt is still there...

Hi Jodie, so glad to hear your focus is right now on you. I know car problems and spending money on car problems is particularly annoying and frustrating, but the progress here is that your focus is on you and not on your grown children and their issues. And you are so right, thinking about...

Pigless, my heart goes out to you, having to go through the emotions (up and down I'm sure) of the hospital and then listening to him on the phone. Those phone calls when they are crying out for us to "do something" are wrenching to the pits of our souls and hearts. I remember them, and...

Hilli, just let this current scenario play out if you can. Enjoy your home. Try to live in the right now, in this moment. It takes a long time, if ever, for all of our DCs' enablers to stop enabling. I was able to stop before my ex-husband, his dad, finally stopped. He tried to get help...

Love this! Absolutely...

It's so hard when our homes have a swinging door for our DCs. Do we let them live here or not? Like RE said early on, it's best when it's temporary and everybody knows it's temporary. Think about it: We know that all grown "kids", DCs or not, need to get out on their own and learn how to...

Lucy, you are making progress. I just reread the entire thread and things have changed since you started sharing your story here. That is progress. That is wonderful. Claim that and own it, even in the midst of confusion and pain. You are doing exactly what RN recommended above. You are...

Lost, I'm so sorry for your fear and your pain. It feels very familiar. Albatross is 100 percent correct. They are choosing every single day how they will act and what they will do, and then they expect us to pick up the pieces and deal with THEIR consequences. The sooner we can start...

Lil and Jabber, I'm so sorry that this is how your New Year began. It's so exhausting. Reading this thread took me back to my own story with Difficult Child. All of the endless details I always tried to sort through and figure out and what was best? There never was a good answer. All you can do is what...