Hi I have to to make a decision in 12 hours.
My 22yrs old wants to come home and Im not coping with the thought. Everyone who has been around through it all say dont do it, I have 3 other young school aged children all with Diagnoses that Im struggling with. Others who havent been there think Im a horrible person and mother, liek how could I not take him in. His father could take him as they have a granny flat set up under their house but they wont. My hubby and I have a small 3 bedroom house with one teenager in her final year of school who si doing well but has anxiety.
Then I have two small children who both have disabilities they would both at 9 and 7 have to share my bedroom as the 22yr old would have theirs.
22yrs old also has 2 daughters (my granddaughters) that he wants to gain custody of, with my help. he wont get to see his children much as we live 4hours drive from them, there is no public transport my son cant drive so Im left to do the driving. Its a 8hour day in just driving alone when we travel to see the girls. If he was at his fathers there are trains, its further away but there are trains.
I really feel like Im struggling one minute I feel like I can do this then the next I know I cant its too much, I have so much I need to be doing to care for my younger children, I feel like Im choosing children over the other, but the 22yr old has totally warn me out, Im exhausted I cant think about it all without crying. Years and year and years of hell with 22yr old one thing now and Im a complete mess. How many times do you take them in have them stuff your life / world around before you know enough it enough. And WHY do I even care what others think dont have the time to explain it all. I know I want to believe my son that he wont stuff things for us in this town but I cant, I want to believe hed move home and everything be ok, but I know it wont from past. Others na the 22yr old want me to believe Im wrong.
Oh and then tonight 22yr old calls me to tell me how he went to a church camp and some guy was up talking and told him that every time he comes home when we talk to him about rules and what not to do, I put the evil out there so my son ends up cursed and does just what we say he will.
Arhhh we also help him plan out ways to help him but now before he even arrives some fool has set him against us. What do I do when all my being knows its the wrong thing to bring him home.
My 22yrs old wants to come home and Im not coping with the thought. Everyone who has been around through it all say dont do it, I have 3 other young school aged children all with Diagnoses that Im struggling with. Others who havent been there think Im a horrible person and mother, liek how could I not take him in. His father could take him as they have a granny flat set up under their house but they wont. My hubby and I have a small 3 bedroom house with one teenager in her final year of school who si doing well but has anxiety.
Then I have two small children who both have disabilities they would both at 9 and 7 have to share my bedroom as the 22yr old would have theirs.
22yrs old also has 2 daughters (my granddaughters) that he wants to gain custody of, with my help. he wont get to see his children much as we live 4hours drive from them, there is no public transport my son cant drive so Im left to do the driving. Its a 8hour day in just driving alone when we travel to see the girls. If he was at his fathers there are trains, its further away but there are trains.
I really feel like Im struggling one minute I feel like I can do this then the next I know I cant its too much, I have so much I need to be doing to care for my younger children, I feel like Im choosing children over the other, but the 22yr old has totally warn me out, Im exhausted I cant think about it all without crying. Years and year and years of hell with 22yr old one thing now and Im a complete mess. How many times do you take them in have them stuff your life / world around before you know enough it enough. And WHY do I even care what others think dont have the time to explain it all. I know I want to believe my son that he wont stuff things for us in this town but I cant, I want to believe hed move home and everything be ok, but I know it wont from past. Others na the 22yr old want me to believe Im wrong.
Oh and then tonight 22yr old calls me to tell me how he went to a church camp and some guy was up talking and told him that every time he comes home when we talk to him about rules and what not to do, I put the evil out there so my son ends up cursed and does just what we say he will.
Arhhh we also help him plan out ways to help him but now before he even arrives some fool has set him against us. What do I do when all my being knows its the wrong thing to bring him home.