Verydistressedmomofodd
New Member
I'm in ga and they do the same BS HERE!
13 year old son with repeat behavior issues at school
Today my son has an appointment with his therapist. The school has informed me that if he has more bad days than good days this week he will be suspended again. I have brought the paperwork from his last suspension to share with therapist. She is working to get him referred to a psychiatrist. I'm going to ask her about a neuropsychiatrist. She is helpful and invested. I hope to receive some advice about how to handle school. I feel like a traumatized victim myself dealing with them. I get a daily list of his many infractions with no context or way to know what I am expected to do about them. He seems in good spirits at home. He's actually been really good natured with me and his sister which is not per usual for him. Wish us luck today. Hoping for some wheels to begin rolling.
Your son's pediatrician should be able to refer him to both a psychiatrist and a neuroPSYCHOLOGIST (not neuropsychiatrist -you won't get far looking for one of those, it really is important to look for the right thing, sadly. I found that using the wrong terms often just got me hung up on rather than having people help me find the right thing.) The therapist won't be able to do a referral at all. Insurance won't take a referral from a therapist or psychologist.
You really need to talk to your son's pediatrician or your family practice doctor, that is the doctor who will do the referrals. You may need to push them or be insistent.
As for the suspensions, there are laws about how many are allowed, but private schools are not always held to the same standards as public schools. It still sometimes applies if they get ANY federal money for school lunches or anything though. I do mean ANY federal money at all. Failing to follow Special Education law can mean losing ALL federal funding for the school, and for MANY private schools that can mean going under. So maybe looking at the school budget would give you a bit of leverage with the principal. But you have to figure out who has those budget figures or what committee is in charge of teh budgets or whatever.
You really need to talk to your son's pediatrician or your family practice doctor, that is the doctor who will do the referrals. You may need to push them or be insistent.
As for the suspensions, there are laws about how many are allowed, but private schools are not always held to the same standards as public schools. It still sometimes applies if they get ANY federal money for school lunches or anything though. I do mean ANY federal money at all. Failing to follow Special Education law can mean losing ALL federal funding for the school, and for MANY private schools that can mean going under. So maybe looking at the school budget would give you a bit of leverage with the principal. But you have to figure out who has those budget figures or what committee is in charge of teh budgets or whatever.
The therapist my son sees is closely associated with his pediatrician so they act as a team with him, it's the same practice. So they are working to refer him to a behavior health center here which has a variety of pediatric mental health professionals. I looked and one of them is a neuropsychologist so that's where he's heading. It takes forever to get an appointment though and meanwhile we are doing the best we can to help him.
The school is seemingly cooperating with me regarding how they manage him and yesterday informed me that any problems they'll be calling me to talk him down over the phone. Not ideal for me as I do work in the daytime but certainly could help and I'm willing to try it.
The school is seemingly cooperating with me regarding how they manage him and yesterday informed me that any problems they'll be calling me to talk him down over the phone. Not ideal for me as I do work in the daytime but certainly could help and I'm willing to try it.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
That's the only thing. Neuro psychologists are so highly trained and in my opinion the reason there are long waiting lists. Less regarded
people of course are fast appointments. Neuro psychologists are well worth the wait it call the office and ask to be put on a cancellation list.
people of course are fast appointments. Neuro psychologists are well worth the wait it call the office and ask to be put on a cancellation list.
Update. Child has been suspended from school for a 2nd time. The third time will result in expulsion. Behaviors are all ADHD related. Not staying in seat. Talking loudly over people. They keep saying this phrase: disconnected from reality. They said they asked child if he was choosing to misbehave and he said yes he was. So they conclude this is his own choice and not relevant to his diagnosis based on that.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
This school can call itself whatever it likes. They don't understand disabilities. They should not have point-blank asked him that.
Evaluate him. Now. Get him out of the crazy school. Homeschool until you find a suitable place.
Evaluate him. Now. Get him out of the crazy school. Homeschool until you find a suitable place.
I contacted the local public middle school and I made an appointment with them for Wednesday. I am unable to home school him because I am a single mom working full time. I'm mostly waiting at this point for him to be evaluated, just awaiting the scheduling. He does have ADHD diagnosis which qualifies him under section 504. But not for an IEP is what I was told. Is that true? I've been reading Wrights Law page but I've been working too so I'm a little overwhelmed. Thanks for your reply. I'm so grateful.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Adhd is not usually iep, but wait until he is tested. I would not be surprised if he has a high form of autism which is often misdiagnosed as Adhd. Autism will get you the nine yards. My sons very first diagnosis was also Adhd. Then Odd. Then bipolar. All of those were wrong and he did not improve until he got the right diagnosis and treatment. Be careful of any bipolar diagnosis. Nobody can prove bipolar in a kid and the medications are very heavy duty. Your son has many autistic traits. In fact he has more than my son had. Hold on and see what you are told this time
A homeschooled child can do his work in the evening FYI
it can be done anytime.
A homeschooled child can do his work in the evening FYI
it can be done anytime.Yes you are right however he can't be left at home without supervision and I've got no options for childcare in the daytime that are affordable. So that's the issue. My 16 year old does homeschool but she's capable of self starting and is reliable to be home alone. I would not wish to put the responsibility of her brother on her shoulders.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
No, no. Your daughter cant take thatt responsibility. Caring mother you are. To both.
I guess its a waiting game hopefully with a happy ending!!
I guess its a waiting game hopefully with a happy ending!!
BloodiedButUnbowed
Well-Known Member
Special Education teacher here. If your son attends a school for students with learning differences/medical diagnoses/disabilities, he should have an IEP. If a child needs not only separate classes but a separate BUILDING from non-disabled children, then they certainly require an IEP. I am guessing this must be a private school, one that you are paying for out of pocket. In a best case scenario, your local school district - the one your son would attend if he were in public school - should have identified him as having special needs, written an IEP and placed him wherever the team agreed was the best place for him to learn. If a therapeutic school for students with his difficulties was the best place, it is paid for by the school district.
Even though he isn't attending a public school right now (I assume), you can still write a letter to the superintendent of the public school district where you live requesting he be evaluated for an IEP. They are responsible for his education. Date it and state that you want him evaluated for an IEP specifically in the letter along with a few examples of his behavioral and academic concerns (not completing work is an academic as well as a behavioral concern).
I recommend speaking with an advocate in your area as well, if you Google your community's name and 'special education advocate' you should get some results. Sounds like this situation has been going on a long time and that the school he attends currently is not doing their job. Sadly there are many "private" schools purporting to serve students with autism, but in fact, are scams. A legitimate school of this nature is staffed 100% with special educators and related service providers; it should be a special education SCHOOL, for students whose needs are so severe they literally cannot learn in a typical school environment. If this school is denying your son an IEP it is a near certainty that they fall under the "scam" category. An advocate can help point you in the right direction and will help you interact with them, as well as the public school district.
Just re-read your original post. If his teacher is a "special education teacher" but he doesn't have an IEP, and they are refusing to give him one, you have a very strong case that they KNOW he needs an IEP but are stonewalling the issue. Either that or this teacher is not licensed or certified in Special Education regardless of their claims. Don't let up on them. You are in charge, not them. Are you friendly with other parents at this private school? There MUST be other children experiencing this same treatment.
Sorry you are going through this.
Even though he isn't attending a public school right now (I assume), you can still write a letter to the superintendent of the public school district where you live requesting he be evaluated for an IEP. They are responsible for his education. Date it and state that you want him evaluated for an IEP specifically in the letter along with a few examples of his behavioral and academic concerns (not completing work is an academic as well as a behavioral concern).
I recommend speaking with an advocate in your area as well, if you Google your community's name and 'special education advocate' you should get some results. Sounds like this situation has been going on a long time and that the school he attends currently is not doing their job. Sadly there are many "private" schools purporting to serve students with autism, but in fact, are scams. A legitimate school of this nature is staffed 100% with special educators and related service providers; it should be a special education SCHOOL, for students whose needs are so severe they literally cannot learn in a typical school environment. If this school is denying your son an IEP it is a near certainty that they fall under the "scam" category. An advocate can help point you in the right direction and will help you interact with them, as well as the public school district.
Just re-read your original post. If his teacher is a "special education teacher" but he doesn't have an IEP, and they are refusing to give him one, you have a very strong case that they KNOW he needs an IEP but are stonewalling the issue. Either that or this teacher is not licensed or certified in Special Education regardless of their claims. Don't let up on them. You are in charge, not them. Are you friendly with other parents at this private school? There MUST be other children experiencing this same treatment.
Sorry you are going through this.
BloodiedButUnbowed
Well-Known Member
I have students who qualify for an IEP under OHI (other health impaired) for ADHD. It is possible. You have plenty of evidence that your son has suffered and struggled.
My son's first IEP was under OHI for adhd. They didn't even want to give him a 504 for autism or Aspergers, but for adhd they were happy to give him an IEP. Yes, that makes no sense, and I successfully fought them by just bringing up the idea of bringing in a lawyer.
I honestly think the school is mostly scamming you and trying to bully you. Their ENTIRE attitude is that they don't want you to talk to anyone or know what is going on, and that means they are doing SOMETHING very very wrong. I have heard and seen more stuff go on in schools than you would believe (teacher's kid) and this is always a sign of something wrong.
I honestly think the school is mostly scamming you and trying to bully you. Their ENTIRE attitude is that they don't want you to talk to anyone or know what is going on, and that means they are doing SOMETHING very very wrong. I have heard and seen more stuff go on in schools than you would believe (teacher's kid) and this is always a sign of something wrong.
pigless in VA
Well-Known Member
I'm thinking he is misbehaving because he is bored out of his mind. Do you have any knowledge of the teacher using rewards for him? We have multiple issues in the classroom where I work. Most of the kids have some reward that they are working toward based on the kid. I'll bet that your son has a special interest that could be used as a reward.
One of the kids I am with has quite the motormouth. When we're in art class, I let him sing to heart's content. I view it as sort of a stress release, and I think he needs to do it. One day he sang that song from Looney Tunes that the frog sang, "Hello Ma Baby" over and over and over and over and over. Seriously, we could send the boy to Guantanamo Bay as a torture device. But as annoying as it was, I viewed his singing as necessary for him. You can't expect a high energy, special needs kid to maintain composure all day every day.
The boy who I worked with last year often stood at a podium in class. His issue was constant repetitive movements, so we let him stand a good portion of the day. It's particularly hard for active boys to sit still for long periods of time.
From your description, it does not sound like your son is getting much understanding from the people who work with him. That worries me.
Update: I have been forced to withdraw my son from his private special needs school. After 3-4 weeks of improved behavior he told another child that he didn't want him to have any other friends and the school has labeled that as "bullying" and enforced his "probation" in which a single offense would result in expulsion. I withdrew him to avoid the stigma of the expulsion at his new school. He has been in our local public Middle school for theee days. He was not allowed to say goodbye to his friends or teachers of two years. I am holding back the anger I feel until I can address the situation calmly. It has been a shitty week.
JRC
Active Member
MissMommy I am so sorry. That school sounds like it was a terrible place, with no solid community. I am so, so sorry.
How has the public school been so far? Have you had conversations with the Special Education department? I know you are a single mom and work full time. You must be under so much stress. ((hugs))
How has the public school been so far? Have you had conversations with the Special Education department? I know you are a single mom and work full time. You must be under so much stress. ((hugs))
They've already explained to me how he doesn't qualify for an IEP because of his high IQ and standardized tests. But we are developing a 504 plan based on his previous public school two years ago. I've met with his teachers and I am trying to create a support system for him. He's also seeing a psychiatrist in a few weeks. And he has an Occupational Therapist (OT) coming next week. I am feeling hopeful but ANGRY that they would get rid of him so easily without any caring toward him at all.
JRC
Active Member
My heart goes out to you. I've dealt with the 504/IEP dance with my oldest son (has ADHD and a high IQ but until this year--sophmore--he never performed at his potential). My youngest (diagnosis with bipolar) is on one, however, and there was no problem getting him on it. Same school system. Different SPED director.
