about2gocrazy
New Member
Again, my wife and I would like to thank you for your support. I would like to give you an update on how our son is progressing (not sure if making a new thread would be the right way to do this, so I'm replying to this instead).
He successfully completed the 60 day program and returned home in February. He is so much more physically healthy now - he's regained the weight he lost in his active addiction, his appetite is normal and the self-inflicted and drug related injuries to his body are mostly healed by now. He did have a relapse involving marijuana in March but - and this is the part we were grateful for - he reported the behavior and sought help himself, including turning in the remaining drugs and the "gravity bong" he used to smoke it. His mental condition remains fairly unstable at this point, but he is making progress. He has some serious sleep issues (insomnia and nightmares) that we are wary of medicating for fear of accidentally sparking a new chemical dependency, but he is taking an anti-depressant and it seems to be having some effect. We are routinely drug- and alcohol-testing him with home kits, and aside from the marijuana in March, he's been clean. His therapist keeps us in the loop on some of the things our son tells him, and a more complete picture of what's happened is beginning to emerge.
My wife and I have read many of the stories and pleas for help on this and other sites, and it's amazing how many of them sound so familiar. He fell in with a couple of wrong friends and was introduced to pot, cigarettes, and alcohol, which acted as "gateway" substances for him. As he abandoned his old crowd of socially adjusted, healthy relationships for more marijuana users and drinkers, he was exposed to more hard-core drugs, and the lifestyle associated with them. We've learned he's tried literally every drug we knew existed and many we didn't; his favorites were opiates (pain medications and heroin) and marijuana. The more we learned, the more things made sense - why he chose to work at the job he had, why the parents of his "friends" seemed to have no role in disciplining their children (or in some cases, an active role promoting their children's substance abuse), why the school seemed to have "given up", where he was getting the money for all this rampant drug abuse.
We are looking into a wilderness program for him to attend this summer to work with some unresolved issues. He's much more stable than he was while using, but he has behaviors that need further addressing - sexual activity remains an issue, he has repeatedly been caught smoking cigarettes, and at times he will become upset and use foul language (although he doesn't yell anymore). Further compounding the situation is the imminent prospect of him becoming a father - the young lady carrying his child has elected to have and keep the baby. We're not sure how to deal with this. We've enrolled him in a local "alternative" high school that is better equipped to handle his needs than his previous school. His grades are, thankfully, much improved - from mostly F's with the occasional D, to mostly B's with the occasional A. We have not returned car privileges or allowed him to find a job just yet - both the therapists, his school team, and we agree that he needs to show more sustained recovery before we can trust him outside the house unsupervised in situations like that. He is attending a young addicts' meeting of Narcotics Anonymous three times a week. We are attending Al-Anon, his sister is attending Alateen.
Some more good news - one thing his therapist suggested that, so far, has had a really amazing impact on our son's mood and outlook, has been the introduction of a family pet that he is responsible for, as somewhat of a preparation for the likely scenario he'll soon face of having a child to care for. He adopted a kitten from a local shelter in mid-March and it's such a joy to see him interact with the little cat. It gets him out of his own head and gives him something positive to direct his energies to. He named her Misty; she's a little calico and he is clearly taking his responsibility for her seriously (even to the point where he's trying to leash- and toilet-train her!). We've also tried to work on his relationships with his siblings - his sister still doesn't trust him, but he has started teaching our youngest son to play the guitar. For so long he thought of his older brother as an angry rule-breaker/bully; it's a real relief to see them spending time in a positive way. His grandfather seems to have forged a very strong bond with him in this short period of time; they talk on the phone daily and he makes routine trips to our home to spend time with him. Little by little, he's beginning to open up.
Once again, thank you for all your support. I will keep you updated as things progress. This nightmare year of Age 16 is over (he's 17 now) but it's clear we've got a long road ahead of us still. We think (and pray and hope) that the worst is over with, but we're resolute that we will deal with whatever comes next. We will never give up on our son.
He successfully completed the 60 day program and returned home in February. He is so much more physically healthy now - he's regained the weight he lost in his active addiction, his appetite is normal and the self-inflicted and drug related injuries to his body are mostly healed by now. He did have a relapse involving marijuana in March but - and this is the part we were grateful for - he reported the behavior and sought help himself, including turning in the remaining drugs and the "gravity bong" he used to smoke it. His mental condition remains fairly unstable at this point, but he is making progress. He has some serious sleep issues (insomnia and nightmares) that we are wary of medicating for fear of accidentally sparking a new chemical dependency, but he is taking an anti-depressant and it seems to be having some effect. We are routinely drug- and alcohol-testing him with home kits, and aside from the marijuana in March, he's been clean. His therapist keeps us in the loop on some of the things our son tells him, and a more complete picture of what's happened is beginning to emerge.
My wife and I have read many of the stories and pleas for help on this and other sites, and it's amazing how many of them sound so familiar. He fell in with a couple of wrong friends and was introduced to pot, cigarettes, and alcohol, which acted as "gateway" substances for him. As he abandoned his old crowd of socially adjusted, healthy relationships for more marijuana users and drinkers, he was exposed to more hard-core drugs, and the lifestyle associated with them. We've learned he's tried literally every drug we knew existed and many we didn't; his favorites were opiates (pain medications and heroin) and marijuana. The more we learned, the more things made sense - why he chose to work at the job he had, why the parents of his "friends" seemed to have no role in disciplining their children (or in some cases, an active role promoting their children's substance abuse), why the school seemed to have "given up", where he was getting the money for all this rampant drug abuse.
We are looking into a wilderness program for him to attend this summer to work with some unresolved issues. He's much more stable than he was while using, but he has behaviors that need further addressing - sexual activity remains an issue, he has repeatedly been caught smoking cigarettes, and at times he will become upset and use foul language (although he doesn't yell anymore). Further compounding the situation is the imminent prospect of him becoming a father - the young lady carrying his child has elected to have and keep the baby. We're not sure how to deal with this. We've enrolled him in a local "alternative" high school that is better equipped to handle his needs than his previous school. His grades are, thankfully, much improved - from mostly F's with the occasional D, to mostly B's with the occasional A. We have not returned car privileges or allowed him to find a job just yet - both the therapists, his school team, and we agree that he needs to show more sustained recovery before we can trust him outside the house unsupervised in situations like that. He is attending a young addicts' meeting of Narcotics Anonymous three times a week. We are attending Al-Anon, his sister is attending Alateen.
Some more good news - one thing his therapist suggested that, so far, has had a really amazing impact on our son's mood and outlook, has been the introduction of a family pet that he is responsible for, as somewhat of a preparation for the likely scenario he'll soon face of having a child to care for. He adopted a kitten from a local shelter in mid-March and it's such a joy to see him interact with the little cat. It gets him out of his own head and gives him something positive to direct his energies to. He named her Misty; she's a little calico and he is clearly taking his responsibility for her seriously (even to the point where he's trying to leash- and toilet-train her!). We've also tried to work on his relationships with his siblings - his sister still doesn't trust him, but he has started teaching our youngest son to play the guitar. For so long he thought of his older brother as an angry rule-breaker/bully; it's a real relief to see them spending time in a positive way. His grandfather seems to have forged a very strong bond with him in this short period of time; they talk on the phone daily and he makes routine trips to our home to spend time with him. Little by little, he's beginning to open up.
Once again, thank you for all your support. I will keep you updated as things progress. This nightmare year of Age 16 is over (he's 17 now) but it's clear we've got a long road ahead of us still. We think (and pray and hope) that the worst is over with, but we're resolute that we will deal with whatever comes next. We will never give up on our son.
