Hi everyone. It's been a few months and I wanted to post an update. The Kid came home on Halloween. We've mostly been dealing with ODD behaviors - mouthiness, attitude, anger. Puberty is in FULL swing too. It's been very up and down, nothing consistent although nothing outrageous that would get him sent away. He finished the semester at Christmas with a 1.4 GPA entirely because he gave such little effort.
Things have been better since Jan 1. He has developed a close friendship with my brother who had a lot of similar ADHD/ODD issues as a kid. My husband and I feel totally empty so it's been nice to have someone engage the Kid for us. And, he's actually trying at school, happy at home and engaged. I try not to get my hopes up becuase nothing lasts long, but it's been 4 good days in a row... I started to exhale and think things were getting better!
Then last night happened. A few times since he's returned home, he has come across a "treasure map" that he apparently hid last summer. These maps tell of places he has drugs/money hidden in our home. Last weekend my brother uncovered a stash. Last night I was with him and uncovered it. I was tired, couldn't handle another drama, told him we would discuss it later and sent him to his room so I could tend to my 3 small children. I researched the pills I found hidden - they were tylenol, Abilify (a current medication he's on) and a dog arthritis medication (which our dog takes). Weird and suspicions grow.
Then I get a call from my brother saying he just had a breakthrough with the Kid and to hang on a few minutes because it'll all be better. So I go talk to the Kid and he confesses: he's never had a drug problem. Yeah, he experimented with a couple things but nowhere near an addiction. It was all a farse. (If you read my original post you will notice he spent 30 days in rehab in October. His addiction revelation last fall blew the lid off our family and he's been watching me try to hang on for dear life the past 6 months.) In his words, he lacks such identity and he fits in with no one and never has - so he created an identity. Anyone can be a junkie, he said, so I made myself a junkie. All the stories he has shocked us with have been lies.
I feel so many things. First, is this another lie? How can I ever know what is truth and what is not? How the heck do I move forward? What help does he need? the Kid loves me more than himself or anything on this earth, I have NO doubt. So how does someone do this to another person? It's cruel, but the Mom in me recognizes how empty someone must feel to be able to do this to someone, right?
We are receiving in home functional family therapy through the court. He has a PO that he meets with weekly. His personality test a year ago mentions traits of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and Borderline (BPD). Neither of those fit real well.
I'm stumped. Anyone have advice on where to go from here?
Things have been better since Jan 1. He has developed a close friendship with my brother who had a lot of similar ADHD/ODD issues as a kid. My husband and I feel totally empty so it's been nice to have someone engage the Kid for us. And, he's actually trying at school, happy at home and engaged. I try not to get my hopes up becuase nothing lasts long, but it's been 4 good days in a row... I started to exhale and think things were getting better!
Then last night happened. A few times since he's returned home, he has come across a "treasure map" that he apparently hid last summer. These maps tell of places he has drugs/money hidden in our home. Last weekend my brother uncovered a stash. Last night I was with him and uncovered it. I was tired, couldn't handle another drama, told him we would discuss it later and sent him to his room so I could tend to my 3 small children. I researched the pills I found hidden - they were tylenol, Abilify (a current medication he's on) and a dog arthritis medication (which our dog takes). Weird and suspicions grow.
Then I get a call from my brother saying he just had a breakthrough with the Kid and to hang on a few minutes because it'll all be better. So I go talk to the Kid and he confesses: he's never had a drug problem. Yeah, he experimented with a couple things but nowhere near an addiction. It was all a farse. (If you read my original post you will notice he spent 30 days in rehab in October. His addiction revelation last fall blew the lid off our family and he's been watching me try to hang on for dear life the past 6 months.) In his words, he lacks such identity and he fits in with no one and never has - so he created an identity. Anyone can be a junkie, he said, so I made myself a junkie. All the stories he has shocked us with have been lies.
I feel so many things. First, is this another lie? How can I ever know what is truth and what is not? How the heck do I move forward? What help does he need? the Kid loves me more than himself or anything on this earth, I have NO doubt. So how does someone do this to another person? It's cruel, but the Mom in me recognizes how empty someone must feel to be able to do this to someone, right?
We are receiving in home functional family therapy through the court. He has a PO that he meets with weekly. His personality test a year ago mentions traits of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and Borderline (BPD). Neither of those fit real well.
I'm stumped. Anyone have advice on where to go from here?