20 yo still at home, no job - desperate mother!

[Jitty]

My son is also 20 has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and is depressed And is paranoid !! Everything is my fault in his life I have tried to get him help for years he refuses everything he says there is nothing wrong with him it's me ! _My son did not graduate school was short 5 credits has no friends no job I had to get a PFA on him to get him out of my house he was on streets for a month my mother felt bad and has taken him in !!! I had to beg the court to get him evaluated!! They said yes and the Phystrist was awful still. There is no real diagnoses ! 'My son has no one but me and my mother ! I also have a 13 year old daughter I had no choice but to do this for my daughter everyday I want to die cause my son has no life has never had a girlfriend or done things normal guys do at this age ! My mother now sees how bad it is with him ! I do not know what to do ?? I feel awful everyday of my life and I'm so miserable and I don't want to be ! But how can I be happy when my son has no life ?? He has so many issues and on top
Of it all has Coltis !! It's such a mess

 

[Hilli]

I am so sorry to hear this. It is very hard. I don't have any answers for you as I am struggling as well as you know. But I am currently in a respite as he tries to find a job and has until Jan 2 to do so. I try and forget about it as the days draw closer so that I can enjoy things that are good in my life. If he chooses to not get a job I will feel guilty again and he will be out on the street. My mom will not take him in either. I don't know why it has to be so difficult for some children to normalize into society. Hang in there and know that you are not alone in your pain and heartache.

 

[Resilient]

I understand your pain. It's God awful, and we have no power over their choices. My daughter is choosing to be in a homeless shelter, estranged from us. She never has done normal things either, choosing to waste her opportunities away.

I fear she has severe mental illness.

I'm trying to choose now to detach from her. It is a guilt ridden experience. I want to keep trying, yet everything I do seems to push her away farther. You're not alone.