7 year old called cops this morning !!!!!!!!

[BusynMember]

MWM...
Other than Occupational Therapist (OT) and Audiology... we have received literally ZERO outside help for difficult child. WE had to figure it all out for ourselves and implement and pay for. We are having success... but at a very high cost.

Even in North America... appropriate resources are often nowhere to be found... or cannot be afforded. Yes, parents DO have to come up with their own answers.

That hasn't been our experience, IC. I don't mean we didn't have to come up with our own answers for our home, but we did not succeed with our kids on our own. Sonic got a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a physical therapist and a social skills coach plus special education and an aide free of cost at school. Likewise, Jumper got special education when she could not read and services also in school. Since neither child had behavioral problems outside of school (Sonic was pretty good by age five), we were fortunate enough not to have to deal with that too. However, Sonic was really WEIRD!!!! and he really knows how to act pretty much like other people now...lol.

In the US if you get the right IEP (and, yes, you must FIGHT for it), the school has to pay for it. The only cost, if your insurance doesn't cover it, is in the neuropsychologist testing. And it did cover ours so we were lucky. I'd say the US is unique this way. We have really crapola healthcare coverage, but our public schools have to provide free services for our special needs children, although often we have to fight to get the schools to comply.

Under those conditions, I do think the best thing to do is to try to utilize the services offered as well as learning as much as you can yourself. Of course, if medication is needed, parents can't prescribe it. And if your difficult child is violent or really badly acting out, I think it is out of our scope to be able to handle it alone. Our schools will send violent kids, no matter what the reason, to alternative schools when they are older. Sometimes even younger kids are taken out of school and put in alternative settings. Best to get the offered help and hope that between you and the school district and hopefully your therapist/psychiatrist your child can calm down and live a normal life. We, as parents, have no say in our kids being transferred if the children act out at school.

 

[Confused]

I agree with you both, not only does it very my resources whether financial or options, but also what the child and parents can handle. But, I did get the referral!!!!!!! An Neuro evaluation I looked up today wow! Can cost $3,000-7,000 depending! I hope his medicaid pays for a lot of it.. or something! But Id figure a way if it doesnt

No matter what or how we get our kids better we are all in this together is a sense. Thank you all for your help again

 

[InsaneCdn]

However, Sonic was really WEIRD!!!! and he really knows how to act pretty much like other people now

And who taught him that?
For our difficult child... it was 100% parent-driven. Intensive interventions, 24/7.

 

[BusynMember]

To be honest, Sonic taught himself with the help of everyone who was around him. Truthfully he learned a lot when he was in special education. That was when he first learned how to make friends and to feel like a leader. His teacher and aide were amazing and he took their guidance to heart.

Sonic is my hero He tried so very hard. I have to hand Sonic himself the gold ring. Oh, it's confusing...kids are so different...lol Kudos to you for your hard work. It was not necessary for us to work as hard or alone and I give you credit. I'm not sure I could have done so well on my own and my hub is a great guy, but he doesn't really get it.

 

[Kathy813]

confused, is there a reason you are keeping him in a private school that won't/can't meet his needs when there are public school options that do provide services? I don't come to the general forum very often so maybe I missed something in your previous posts but it seems like an obvious solution to me.

~Kathy

 

[Confused]

Kathy813,
I understand what your saying as well as some others here and if I have no choice but to take that route I will. Special Education here they are trying to do away with, and the schools scandals etc is a couple reason I stay away. Plus he can be flexible in routines, but I know changing his environment completely like that would not be a pretty site. He says he is happy there and begs pleads not to change. He hasn't had any violence at school- and hopefully he wont. I already told the teachers what his Dr said ADHD, ODD and Possible Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and they said ok, bring the testing results when hes done and they have already been working with him and will continue to. The class sizes range anywhere from 7-20 students- his class is I think 13.

***I just asked him if he would like to change, even having another teacher in the class( making 2) possibly and he said no way!!! If he is forced to change schools he'll hate it ( ya he didnt go to school again so far today) I told him if we had no choice I would have to move him- it wouldn't be his choice if it was better for him. He didnt like that idea

Ill be in jail if he refuses school cuz here, even if in Special Education ( I was and refused and my dad was almost arrested but I went back and dropped out and did home school) I cant do home school for my son because one I have to work, two, no way would he sit and do his work , three- he would go stir crazy at home- he has to be active and with things to do, kids etc. Four, I couldn't do it! He has to learn to be with people, how to handle himself etc.

But, if it gets worse I will look into it

 

[BusynMember]

If it gets worse and trickles into school violence, my experience with private schools, especially religious ones, is that they will not allow your child to stay there. And they can do that.

By federal law, they MUST give a free and appropriate education to every child attending public school. Do they do it? Sometimes you have a battle on your hands, but if you press it hard enough, you bet they do. They don't want to end up investigated, in court, and defunded. Been there/done that.

 

[Confused]

MidwestMom, your completely rite, they will kick him out and I told him that. They also tell all the students that, and the students have to acknowledge they understood that which my son did. They give no chances for violence there. I think thats why my son "holds it in" there and lets it go when he;s in the car/home/store/friends and family. I don't know. It is a Catholic School

So you battled a Public School ?

 

[BusynMember]

The Director of Special Education knew my voice on the phone...lol. I was not easily intimidated and went to the department of public education and got everything I wanted for both of my kids. They fought it, but my kids won in the end. They even sent my son to a nearby public school, transporting him on their dime, so that he could get services that our home school did not provide. Sonic and Jumper have both leaped since being in public school. Sonic will never hold a highly competitive job because his learning disorders affect his schooling too much, but he's doing great, is happy, and can pass for "normal." He has no mental health or behavioral issues and it did not start out that way. Now I can honestly say this is a young man who everyone loves, who is kindhearted and nice mannered who will never see the inside of a jail and will never initiate a fight. I'm very proud of him.

Jumper is on her way to college and her school got her confidence up to the point where she used to have meetings with the principal, who loved her, and she always says that, besides us, he was the most influential person in her life (in a good way). He made her believe in herself and to go that extra step and encouraged her to try just a little bit harder, even though school came a little bit harder for her. Her Special Education teacher, when she needed it, and her study skills helpers were invaluable to her self-esteem. To be honest, at the parochial school, both of my kids were kind of put down and told that they could do better if they just tried harder. They got no extra help for their problems and they both wanted out by the time Sonic was in fourth grade.

Poor Sonic used to walk around the playground by himself at that school. He made friends right away at public school, first in his Special Education classes then he had a few typical kids at his lunch table as well. I had been afraid to pull them out, but I fought like you wouldn't believe to get them services in public school and I'm happy my husband and I did pull them.

 

[Confused]

MidwestMom, Im glad that it helped your kids and they are doing good! Awww thats a shame they told them that. I try to word it like" Everyone has their easier subjects or easier hobby but for others it may not be the same subject or hobby, we all are different for a reason and we learn and handle it differently" I don't know if thats any good?"

Your situation gives me hope if I do switch him. I know as soon as he has an official diagnose, I will talk to the Principal as well as the teachers again. And I will see what they plan on doing for him. I still plan on Behavior or some type of therapy no matter what because that's what I been trying for years mainly to get help for us to learn how to do this and be able to understand/ do this properly. I will also go talk to potential schools just to see what they say as well. Thank you