A new ODD diagnosis!

[Wiped Out]

Just popping in to say hello and welcome!

 

[CarCar]

Thank you all for your help and support. Last night was one of the worst nights of our lives. He had his counseling session and the therapist did an aggresion test/analysis and she said she was very concerned about him and was thinking some antidepressants might be in order. Unfortunately, only the psychiatrist can write a prescription and there is a 2 month backlog for an appointment with him for an evaluation. So she's checking today to see what we can do sooner. The mother of the boy he punched called us during the counseling session and said our son was bragging in school about how he beat up her son. So, I had earlier told him he could earn back a day from his being grounded for each day he stayed away from this kid. After hearing about the bragging, I told him that was now off the table. He swore at us the whole way home and then headed up to his room. After a couple hours up there we started hearing stuff flying around and he had thrown a chair against the door putting holes in it, broke a piece of shelving attached to the wall and was just going crazy. I had to hold him down and my wife called the police. They sat with him alone for awhile and were able to calm him down. He had mentioned on the way home that he was going to beat up the kid again today so we've both been waiting all day for the school to call. The school did call a little while ago and said he was doing fine but the other mother had called the school and is looking into pressing charges against him. They said under normal circumstances he would have been suspended but since no adult saw it, they can't. So, our hearts are breaking because we feel so helpless to help him, but we are very thankful for all your advice and comments.

 

[Nancy]

Itis good that you called the police. We did the same thing when our daughter started to become physically violent. She had to learn that she could not do that and that she would have to pay the consequences.

I'm glad the counselor is thinking antidepressants, it's important to have him evaluated by a psychiatrist soon to determine what medications are appropriate.

You are doing the right thing. Perhaps if this boy's parents do file charges on your son he will see that he has a problem. Our difficult child had t have several charges against her before she decided to change. It's not the worst thing. We have a juvenile diversion program here that really tries to help kids who get into trouble. You may want to check with your juvenile officer and see if you have anything like that.

You are going through a rough time. There is some reason why he is behaving like this and hope you can get some clues soon.

Nancy

 

[oceans]

Sorry that you are having such a hard time. That is a long time to wait for an evaluation. There are no private psychiatrists who could do an individual evaluation sooner? Sometimes it takes lots of networking and phone calls to find what you need. Sometimes it takes some traveling. I am not certain where you live. Are there any teaching hosptials nearby?

 

[BusynMember]

I agree with Oceans. I'd try to get him in sooner. A counselor should not be the person who thinks of what medications is best for your child. She has no medical training. Now comes the Mom gut: Take it or leave it. in my opinion, he isn't acting this way because he's a brat and doesn't know better. A child with a mood disorder, which he very well could have, may do worse on antidepressants, so I'd definitely want another opinion. If he's placed on them, watch him carefully. There is a black box warning for kids under 18 on antidepressants. They can cause suicidal thinking if the child has an undiagnosed or diagnosed mood disorder or even autism. Both of my kids flipped out on them. I'm an adult who took tons of ad's, and some made me suicidal! I finally found one that worked for me, but, if he is prescribed any stims or antidepressants, I'd watch him like a hawk. He MAY do best on an anti psychotic or a mood stabilizer or both, but I'd definitely try to get him stable before he hurts someone. Obviously he needs to see a Psychiatrist--and the good ones, unfortunately, do tend to have long waiting lists. However, I wouldn't punish the child by calling the police--I'd just do the hospital. in my opinion he is just a very ill child who hasn't found the right treatment yet and he won't learn by calling the police--it will just make him more afraid of his own behavior. I used to rage. Yes, I was terrified and didn't know why or how to stop. Hugs :smile:

 

[TerryJ2]

Hi CarCar, just checking back to lend support. SO sorry for your crummy night. I can hardly imagine.
You've gotten more good advice and good webpages to read.
I hope he has calmed down a bit today.
And also, I wish you luck with-the other parents. I wouldn't tell them he has ODD... I'd just say you're working on the issue... something a bit more vague.

 

[Nancy]

CarCar, I wanted to tell you my experience with taking my difficult child to the hospital when she acted out. Every single time we took her it cost us a couple thousand dollars and each and every time they told us they do not keep adolescents that are not in imminent danger of hurting themselves. I even took her to one hospital that her psychiatrist told us to and they told me the same thing as they handed me a sheet of paper with therapists referral names.

Obviously none of us knows what medications is right for your child and that is why it is so important to get him evaluated by a psychiatrist.

I hope things have quieted down. I am anxious to hear what happens and what progress you make with the evaluation.

Nancy