A shread of hope...

[eekysign]

eeky- thanks - but I'd rather not make the psychiatric hospital he's going to public knowledge. There are lurkers who try to get info on people, then call places, etc, Can we please refrain from getting to specific about any that are or are not available and use PM for any specific info? There have been many people stirring up ca*p in our lives _ PLEASE do not post specific info. publicly.

Creepy and horrible! I have changed my post. What the carp is wrong with people?

I've got questions out to my friend who works in the legislature in mental health/community issues to see what the deal is. Hopefully, she'll know the current state of the issue.

 

[klmno]

Thank you! PM'ing me with specific info is fine- and I do appreciate any info that would help!!

Oh- apparently the "deal" is very difficult for most, especially if they aren't on medicaid, but almost impossible if the difficult child is already involved in Department of Juvenile Justice.

 

[flutterbee]

It's tragic that it has had to come to this to get a glimmer of hope of help for your kid. But, I'm glad that it seems to be happening.

You have fought the impossible battle.

 

[CrazyinVA]

I was trying to find a schedule for closures but didn't have any luck. They'll get him in somewhere, though, and likely be able to keep him wherever that is through Department of Juvenile Justice funding.

 

[Star*]

klmno -

Bravo warrior Mom. Bravo for standing up for a child who is mentally ill. Bravo for remembering details when other Mom's would have fallen apart. Bravo for saying what NEEDED to be said for your son's best interest DESPITE a crack-pot PO. Bravo for having the brass ovaries (are you reading this Going North) to continue to fight the good fight for the right reasons when others would have given up.

I am proud of you! I am angry at the system that continually looks at our kids and sees glimpses of normalcy and bases their entire opinion of the situation based on a window in time that appears as normal as any other childs behavior is. - When the windows shut - WE are the only ones left to see what is inside our homes. We're the only ones who get the pleasure of our difficult child's full-on behavior.

As far as the psychiatric hospital being state or private? Could you (just thinking out loud) get your son signed up for Medicaid? OR is the private/affordable insurance you carry going to allow him better chances at open doors?
My one thought? With a State mental hospital the school would be accredited so your son wouldn't fall behind. A lot of private places are not accredited and like Dude - yes he would find himself better and more stable, but so behind in school that a new, larger frustration of not having a diploma to get a job and going to GED school would arise. Not FUN...

I think since there are so many fingers now on your sons proverbial pulse you should take a minute - Thank your higher power for whatever it is you are thankful for.....get a cheap box of Calgon bath beads, and a cheap candle at the Dollar General - GO home,,,,,,,clean the tub.....start a nice hot bath.....light a candle ........and relax.....turn on some soothing music...(ozzy is good for relaxing) and just don't be anyone until the water is too cool. Not a mom, not a friend, not a daughter......just be no one.

Hugs
I'm glad you are getting help -

and not to throw a stone at your plans - but DO take some time to consider PLAN B.....write it out as carefully as you did that letter - so that IF plan A is a no-go......you have a written THOUGH about what else would be best for my nephew. er.....your son.

 

[klmno]

I hope so, Crazy- but the menatl health therapist said she didn't know how that was all working (or not working) now- not only is it that I can't afford a third deuctible for a psychiatric hospital stay (3rd in 7 weeks), but if they are using my insurance co., he'll be back in a week - doing nothing but sitting in detention.

 

[klmno]

Thank you Star! I love ya!! I'm glad you reminded me that the tub needs cleaned out beofre taking that bath. LOL!!

If I have my way, his sentence will be Residential Treatment Center (RTC). No probation after that- or at least- a different PO and super. I would want to leave a door open to get county funding though, for any extra supports at home that might be needed at that time. I remembered that when I saw PO yesterday, I told her I'd found a place that provided in home plus a violence prevention program for young males that might be worth exploring. She told me to just write it down. Now, she's acting like she had no clue that there was any potential for any of this. When she told me this morning that she had no idea (or- I had not informed her) about difficult child hurting himself- I just said "you knew he was in psychiatric hospital in Dec for self-harming behavior". She said Yes, I said "well, what do you think that means". Sorry- I am really trying to stop venting about her but she's got no business making decisions for kids, parents, families, legal system, etc.

 

[Star*]

Well if you don't clean it out - you spend your ENTIRE bath thinking - I should have cleaned this out BEFORE I took a relax-bath.....I know.

Right back at ya babe

 

[klmno]

Natural consequences- gotta love 'em!

 

[susiestar]

I am so glad things are moving in the right direction. Wiz was in our state's version of a state psychiatric hospital for his 4 month stay. It was a lock-down facility but I was very happy with it once he finally showed his true colors. It was the first time I had 2 professionals who said they could see there was a lot going on that needed to be fixed but he was a master at covering those things up. They helped me plan to push his buttons to get him to show the problem behaviors.

Other parents were not very involved, though some were. The staff was very nice, very caring, and most did not tolerate too much bs with-o being mean. They even had men who worked there and forced the boys to shower - with soap and shampoo!

They also had the group therapy for males who were on the road to becoming sex offenders. This TOTALLY changed the way Wiz looked at his behavior towards his sister. The change started when he was mouthing off about being "too smart" and "too good" and not needing the group. Then another boy his size punched him in the mouth! It really opened his eyes! (Sad when major changes only come about because some other kid punches your kid in the face, but it is what it is.)

Anyway, I would not hesitate to put Wiz back in the facility he was in. Later stays were at a different facility simply because it was close to husband's work and we only had 1 car.

I will hope and pray that this turns out to be exactly what you and difficult child need.

and that someone punches the PO in her big fat mouth. (Anyone wanna join me out behind the building to "adjust" her "attitude"???)

Send difficult child my love, tell him I know he can work with the staff to get a handle on this.

Love you!

Susie

 

[klmno]

Thank you, Susie!! I like that attitude about it!!

 

[busywend]

klmno, you are a WARRIOR MOM!! You are doing wonderful things for your son. Someday....yes, some day he will thank you!

HUGS!

 

[Marguerite]

It sounds like everything you did in court was all the dominoes being properly, carefully lined up and finally being set off neatly. YOu are a shining example of exactly why we need to keep really good notes, write it all down, put our comments in writing, sendcopies to various people andalways keep tabs on what it is, where it is and what other people are thinking.

Sometimes it all works. Eventually it all works.

If we don't do all these things and go above and beyond a lot of the time, we can end up running around in circles. If you hadn't been so well prepared, the PO would have had her say and been able to convicne even that friendly judge that the picture is different.

Here's hoping the PO has finally worked out that even if she disagrees with you, you are perhaps not the single-minded bad parent she seems to have you pegged as. That maybe, just maybe, you are worth listening to...

here's hoping.

Well done!

Marg

 

[everywoman]

I'm glad he might be finally getting the help he (and you) so desperately need. Hopefully he can be gone long enough for you to get back to work, get the house fixed, sell it, and leave that god-forsaken county and it's idiots far-far behind you both. God speed.

 

[DDD]

I am getting ready to do a Happy Dance!!!

I am SO PROUD of you for hanging in there...even if it was by the tip of your nails. Having the info at hand, keeping your wits about you to direct others on how to locate the necessary files, reassuring your difficult child that you were working with him to find the best help. Lordy, Lordy. Girl, you done GOOD!

I'm going to bed (sorry I'm old and go to bed early..lol) with a smile on my face. Way To Go, Warrior Mom. Hugs. DDD

 

[klmno]

Thank you, Ladies!! I'm about to go to bed too. I ate something and have been drooping in my chair ever since. This is going to hit me hard very soon.

 

[Wiped Out]

You so rock as a warrior mom! Continuing prayers and crossing all body parts.

 

[mstang67chic]

Getting ready to hop off the computer myself but wanted to say a few things.

First....GREAT job at court!!! The way I read it, the judge either already had an opinion of your moronic PO or got the picture that day! LOL It's too bad though that the judge has to recuse himself from any further hearings for difficult child but glad you got him for this one.

I'm glad things are moving in a much better direction for you and difficult child. Hugs to you both!! Hoping that the help is coming.