Aaron update: Our Neurologist reported us to CPS!!

[ML]

Well if my doctor didn't know me well enough to give me the benefit of the doubt, I would want a new doctor. I would imagine many of us would look suspicious to outside eyes. But I want the insiders, those who support us in our jobs to take care of and parent these kids would be able to see through appearances to what is really going on. The fact that this doctor didn't just means he is not the right one for you. Find one that can see through the muck :smile:

 

[PersonalEnigma]

We had Children's Aid (the same thing as CPS) called on us last fall. It is a terrible feeling - you just feel so betrayed. For us it was because difficult child claimed that his dad "choked" him. In reality when difficult child was misbehaving at a Cub camp his dad grabbed him by the collar of his PJs which felt like he was being choked. I thing difficult child's sensory issues made it seem worse than it was... Even so it was clearly an exageration of the situation... We were cleared after the social worker met difficult child (and saw how "fun" it is to work with him) and talked with me and my hubby. It is so scary just thinking that if they don't beleive us or understand the situation that they could take away not only difficult child but possibly easy child as well. Also husband's work is around children and a charge of child abuse could loose him his job.

I hope that things get cleared quickly for you. We too live in the country (my parents live on property with us) and don't do school-related extra-curricular.

 

[tammyjh]

I almost had cps called on me when difficult child had her last hospital stay. She told them that I grab her by the neck and throw her upstairs. They didn't report it but let me know that she said it and that they considered it.

Just wanted to add that I don't grab difficult child by the neck and throw her anywhere. If she's will not go to her room when she's starting to get out of control, I put my hand on the base of her neck and direct her upstairs. She hates me to touch her there(another sensory kid) so it motivates her to go to her room.

 

[Star*]

When the allegations of abuse are found to be UNfounded -

I would:

1.) Tell CPS that you no longer have trust with this doctor, because you obviously feel even though she did her job in reporting suggested child abuse - she based her decisions on knowing you for 30 minutes before she DECIDED you were abusers, and did NOT dig to get the entire story.

2.) Since it is hard to get services and since you do live far away but were willing to drive 150 miles round trip to help your child - tell them THEY need to provide you with a new therapist. Also tell them you do not want any further contact with Dr. Quack, AND that you would prefer to NOT get the referral from HER. Let them know you are outraged, and saddened that she chose to make her decisions without prior history of your son. DO NOT GET EMOTIONAL

DO NOT WRITE HER A LETTER -

MAKE CPS provide you with a new psychiatric doctor. They have connections AND #1 PRIORITY - if they TRULY ARE PROTECTIVE SERVICES they will work with their contacts to provide you with a doctor that is NOT off her nut. If they don't care - then they aren't doing their job to protect your child from a professional who already has made up her mind about his parents. FORCE them to get you counseling.

ps if CPS tells you that ISN'T their job to provide you with a therapist, but only to investigate - tell them that their initals stand for CHILD PROTECTIVE services - and ask them WHO then protects your child from a QUACK like her? And tell them that you will be making a report to AMA about her and that if they HAD a child that was found to be abused they would have SERVICE suggestions for them - why not YOURS?

ARGH
Star

 

[GOSOX]

Schools, Teachers, Md's, School nurses, Guidance, ER personnel... we are all trained and held to standards for advocating for our patients.. students.. student and patient families...
When calls are made to DCYF/CPS .. these calls are not made on a whim or taken lightly by the reporter.
It is done for the child... many times parents and families get help badly needed ...( many will not or do not know how to ask for help)
Many times the calls are unfounded...
Some of the calls are life saving..
That is my 2 cents.

Take care.. thinking of you.

GOSOX

 

[BusynMember]

I was a foster parent. AT least in the US, CPS can be scary. I know people who lost kids for no reason other than the suspicious word of a nosey neighbor and nobody believed the truth. I've had them draw conclusions about us too that were not true. This is prevalent when you do foster care (and they wonder why it's so hard to keep foster parents).

 

[Calista]

Hey Cat,

We are also rural. We live in Brenham, not terribly far from you down 105, and we used to trek in to TCH also. Let me just tell you that it's not worth it. They want for all of the children to fit in an easily medicated box and are not willing to research to find other alternatives. Not to mention that this is a teaching hospital so you will be training a new intern every 6 months...not fun. They serve more children and families than they can handle. We no longer go to TCH because they were not helpning and told me that my child was at the best he could be...sorry we can't do more. We are now seeing a psychiatrist in Austin who is really great but far for you. There used to be a man in Spring named Dr. Hugg, yes that's his real name, and he is very good. We sent our difficult child to placement for 5 weeks, something I swore I would NEVER EVER do, and they were truly gifted in understanding and research and it has made all the defference in the world. There is hope but, it's not at TCH. You might try UTMB.

 

[SaraT]

I too was investigated by CPS. The school reported a mark on difficult child's face. They came out and looked at all the kids for bruises and such and ended up dismissing the case. It is scary and intrusive, but just answer their questions truthfully and it will go away.

I too would find a new doctor. This lady sounds, at the very least, unhelpful.

I would NOT write the letter, or at least not send it. It could very well backfire.

Hang in there, difficult child families tend to get cps called on them. My experience is most cases are dismissed, and often help is found.

Hugs

 

[Calista]

I forgot to mention that we were also investigated by CPS thanks to one of the "counselor's" at difficult child's school who was fishing for signs of abuse which can be found in any one if you look hard enough. Needless to say the Caseworker left our house laughing at the accusation and dismissed it immediately.

Hang in there. CPS will go away but, you still need a new doctor.

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, Cat, so sorry. Sigh.

I vote for not writing the letter, for all of the above reasons.

I know how violated, hurt and betrayed you must feel.

I wish I lived closer and had great info like Calista, so I can only offer support. by the way, doesn't a seatbelt mark go away in an hr or two? A "real" welt would last for days. FWIW. Water under the bridge now ...

 

[Catwmn]

So...I finally got the letter on Friday saying that they had found no evidence of any type of abuse or neglect...which I KNEW they wouldn't but it was still so gosh darn frustrating to be under that microscope for nearly a month!!

Thanks to all of you who wished me luck during this difficult time..

I'm back on the boards now that this is over with..

 

[Jena]

i am so so sorry you are going through all of this. I too agree very strongly not to write any type of a letter at this point it may come back to bite you....i also wouldn't trust that doctor at all under any circumstances.

what i would do though is after they make their ridiculous at home visit to ensure that you aren't abusing your chidren (so horrible) I would immediately demand that all records concerning this matter be demolished. they can do that don't let them kid you.

i've been where you are, believe it or not. it is by far one of the scariest things to have to experience. my oldest was little i had a sitter she had mental problems i was not aware of i was careful in interviewing checked references, etc. she couldn't have her own kids, she was very upset with this apparentley adn also convinced that she'd get mine. strange things started to occur she'd be out with my kdi when i got there to pick her up taking picture's together that my little one would bring home alot of bonding getting nails done together my little one was only 4. make long story short someone placed anonymous call in and before i knew it a man wwith a badge was at my door allegations where i did not feed my child if it weren't for the sitter she would nto be eating i partied all the time was never with her, she wet her pants, etc. make long story short i went thru hell and back over this was too embarrassed to get support from anyone because suddenly you trust no one.

after several visits and interviews with my child they dropped the case. they then turned over all doctor's to me.

just take a deep breath these insane doctors of whom i think at times could't spot abuse if i bit them on teh a**.

hang in there, don't loose your cool right now ride it out demand all the doctor's and file be closed once they dismiss it.

good luck to you
Jen

 

[Marguerite]

Thanks for the update. Thank goodness it's over.

Marg

 

[DDD]

I imagine it will take some time to see this issue differently. Right now I am sure you feel violated and angry that someone would think you were capable of abuse or neglect. on the other hand, mandatory reporting does help many families in need who otherwise would slip through the cracks. I'm sorry that you are experiencing the trauma of investigation but it should be over soon and quickly labeled as "unfounded".

What does "rural" have to do with it? Well, the more isolated a family is
the greater the chances that wrongdoing would go unreported. There is an element of child protection in urban settings where "nosey neighbors"
monitor the comings and goings of nearby families.

Try not to take it too personally. Many CD members have been reported
because difficult children tend to attract attention. Sending hugs. DDD