Adult Child Stealing from Parents

[pyneapple]

Thanks for the reply and encouragement. I elected not to report my son because he will be doing some jail time due to breaking probation -- didn't show up for a court date related to a difference matter and plans to turn himself in after he visits his two baby daughters in Texas. I reported the card lost and have the new one hidden because my son had the number and was using it. Now I find out that he's got 3rd party charges on his cell phone of which is on our family plan. I almost suspended his phone, but didn't because he's working now and needs the phone for that, and to stay in touch with his kids' Mom. I know I'm making excuses for him, so I told him that if I get another charge like that, I will suspense his phone. When I do, it won't be my fault. There's a lot going on with him that I won't go into, but in short, he needs counseling and I think some medication for his moods.

 

[STEP MOM]

I was living with a Man I was to marry. His 27 yr old moved in to finish school. In the coarse of 6 months he recieved 3 stalking injunctions from his former girlfriend.Got a dui . Briught conficted felons over.one got arested for breaking and entering plus drug charges. My jewelry was stolen within 20 days of him.living there. I moved out tried to have a relationship with his dad , but his dad was in deep denial over the jewlry and other items taken. The anger for him rail roading him and stealing from me has been the hardest part. My feelings are not valadated , acknowledged , accepted. Which keeps my anger and pain alive. We break up get back together than another explosive thing happens yet Dad normalizes it. Like he had gone crazy after taking the drug Molly. Like his drucers license being taken away because he refused to pay a ticket. Like he pretended to go to school and was not. It took 2 yrs for Dad to kick him out. But he left his room full of hoarder stuff. 9 wks ago he finally was going to pick it up. I organized his stuff and put everthing in boxes on the bed. I found a total of 4 huge boxes of baby girl pull ups , one huge box of adult diapers not like depends. The diaper was a baby diaper style yet sized for adults. Then found a baby bottle. I lost it. I was upset and concerned this fetish needed attention . Dad said he would talk to him yet 9 wjs later NOTHING. Dad once again got mad at my feelings rather then his son. Typical. We broke up because of my feelings thoughts being expressed and Dad didn't like it. Any of you get this from things being done to you ?

 

[Copabanana]

My feelings are not valadated , acknowledged , accepted. Which keeps my anger and pain alive. We break up get back together

I think we as adult women need to learn how to take responsibility to see that our feelings are validated, and if they are not, take responsibility to leave.

If you do not see movement in your boyfriend's wanting to take responsibility to factor in your own feelings and welfare within the family, it is you who has to change this.

I am struggling with the same thing, and so is the man I have been with the past 8 years. In my case, the adult child is my own.

I feel for you. I agree with you, the behaviors you are talking about with the son are beyond troublesome. But the Dad is not hearing you. What can you do, except protect yourself? Perhaps if you back off, Dad alone will take the steps he must, for his own welfare and that of his adult child.

Welcome. I hope you keep posting. It helps.

 

[BusynMember]

This is a thread over a year old.

 

[STEP MOM]

This is a thread over a year old.

I found it looking up a place other people were experiancing similar stuff.

 

[STEP MOM]

I think we as adult women need to learn how to take responsibility to see that our feelings are validated, and if they are not, take responsibility to leave.

If you do not see movement in your boyfriend's wanting to take responsibility to factor in your own feelings and welfare within the family, it is you who has to change this.

I am struggling with the same thing, and so is the man I have been with the past 8 years. In my case, the adult child is my own.

I feel for you. I agree with you, the behaviors you are talking about with the son are beyond troublesome. But the Dad is not hearing you. What can you do, except protect yourself? Perhaps if you back off, Dad alone will take the steps he must, for his own welfare and that of his adult child.

Welcome. I hope you keep posting. It helps.

How are you managing your feelings ? It is true validation for me has been the thing that hurts the most , minis the jewelry stolen had in it stuff my passed away Mom gave me, and stuff my 6 year old gave me before she died. Charms and emotional gold necklaces.

 

[BusynMember]

Why not start your own thread? You would probably get more feedbsck.

I'm sorry. I would head for the hills.

This situation is bad news. Run as fast as you can. It's too bad you didn't call the cops. Please get away from there!!

Dad being in denial of son who is a thief and obsessed with baby items is nowhere for you to be. Son may be dangerous . You don't need that sort of crazy.

Please take care of yourself.

 

[STEP MOM]

Why not start your own thread? You will probably get more feedback. Common problem around here. I'm sorry.

I might try that. For now I just needed to vent ... ; )

 

[STEP MOM]

Why not start your own thread? You would probably get more feedbsck.

I'm sorry. I would head for the hills.

This situation is bad news. Run as fast as you can. It's too bad you didn't call the cops. Please get away from there!!

Dad being in denial of son who is a thief and obsessed with baby items is nowhere for you to be. Son may be dangerous . You don't need that sort of crazy.

Please take care of yourself.

Yes , I left him a few days ago. I am in the anger phase of grief. I can't wait to get to the acceptance stage. Thanks for your response. You validated me.

 

[BusynMember]

Trust me. I believe you and the son is a head case. I hope you move on quickly as well. I am so sorry.

 

[Nomad]

(I'm speaking in generalities here)

I think not having your feelings validated is a huge red flag. It doesn't matter all that much the diagnosis and very little the circumstances.

If this happens continuously, esp. after you point out the problem, with an adult child or partner, in my humble opinion, it immediately becomes time to set boundaries and very quickly comes time to move forward greatly reducing time with this person or even living without this person in your life.

Much strength and support is needed to make this type of decision...to take this type of action. Just heartbreaking. But, it is sooooo toxic to a person. Just exhausting and TOXIC.

 

[STEP MOM]

(I'm speaking in generalities here)

I think not having your feelings validated is a huge red flag. It doesn't matter all that much the diagnosis and very little the circumstances.

If this happens continuously, esp. after you point out the problem, with an adult child or partner, in my humble opinion, it immediately becomes time to set boundaries and very quickly comes time to move forward greatly reducing time with this person or even living without this person in your life.

Much strength and support is needed to make this type of decision...to take this type of action. Just heartbreaking. But, it is sooooo toxic to a person. Just exhausting and TOXIC.

Thank You , I have left him for the last time. The most infuriating thing was no validation at all with hiw this has affected me and him and out lives in general. Instead if boundries on the Son , it was me that got biundries and his anger towards me for confronting him about all the enabling , stealing , drugs , drop out of school , paying 15 k for his DUI and got him a car. I was so shock he cuddled a 27 yr old that continually lied , stole , recieved 4 stalking injunctions ,escaped responsibility for everything . The diaper fetish is what made things hit the fan 9 weeks ago.