BKS
New Member
Hi all,
My 19 year old difficult child son, who my husband and I asked to move out about three weeks ago has decided that I am the enemy. It is really strange but difficult child used to HATE my husband but he seems to have turned against me. He tells me I am a "*****", won't have a conversation with me, pretends I am not in the room (the few times we are together), and ignores any attempts I make to text him about the most routine of issues - including getting him car insurance. He is holding onto grudges for past events - including a year ago when we began to suspect his drug use and I opened his cell phone (that WE bought and paid the service for) to discover on-going texts he had with a drug dealer.
difficult child is EXTREMELY disrespectful and goes out of his way to be hurtful. He came over last evening to pick up some things and made a big point of bringing some ice cream for himself and my husband but not me. From past discussions I know he believes he can say or do anything (no matter how ugly or hurtful) but he believes as parents we are held to a different standard of comments and conversation that are all positive, etc.
I can accept that he is a teenager, immature, on drugs, and may have a mental health issue that creeps up when things are stressful. I can accept that that he continues to blame all of his problems on other people, mostly his father and me. He is perhaps projecting self-hatred on me. This is the same child that was my 'little buddy' for years. My husband has a hearing loss and he always came to me in the middle of the night with bad dreams, ear infections, and troubles. Until about a year ago, he would turn to me in times of trouble. I worked close to home and did all of the home room mom things.
The disrespectful tone and behavior is a no-go, though. It is eating at me and I know I need to find a way to let it go. Any others go through this? I find it almost inexcusable. I KNOW I am too nice and don't know how to deal with this ugly treatment. If nothing else, I don't want him to think that he can sh*t on people who love him and support him - as he pleases. (pardon my french)
Thanks,
BKS
My 19 year old difficult child son, who my husband and I asked to move out about three weeks ago has decided that I am the enemy. It is really strange but difficult child used to HATE my husband but he seems to have turned against me. He tells me I am a "*****", won't have a conversation with me, pretends I am not in the room (the few times we are together), and ignores any attempts I make to text him about the most routine of issues - including getting him car insurance. He is holding onto grudges for past events - including a year ago when we began to suspect his drug use and I opened his cell phone (that WE bought and paid the service for) to discover on-going texts he had with a drug dealer.
difficult child is EXTREMELY disrespectful and goes out of his way to be hurtful. He came over last evening to pick up some things and made a big point of bringing some ice cream for himself and my husband but not me. From past discussions I know he believes he can say or do anything (no matter how ugly or hurtful) but he believes as parents we are held to a different standard of comments and conversation that are all positive, etc.
I can accept that he is a teenager, immature, on drugs, and may have a mental health issue that creeps up when things are stressful. I can accept that that he continues to blame all of his problems on other people, mostly his father and me. He is perhaps projecting self-hatred on me. This is the same child that was my 'little buddy' for years. My husband has a hearing loss and he always came to me in the middle of the night with bad dreams, ear infections, and troubles. Until about a year ago, he would turn to me in times of trouble. I worked close to home and did all of the home room mom things.
The disrespectful tone and behavior is a no-go, though. It is eating at me and I know I need to find a way to let it go. Any others go through this? I find it almost inexcusable. I KNOW I am too nice and don't know how to deal with this ugly treatment. If nothing else, I don't want him to think that he can sh*t on people who love him and support him - as he pleases. (pardon my french)
Thanks,
BKS