Jena, stay cool and calm. This is terrifying when it happens, but increasingly, this is sounding like a really heavy component of hysteria. For example, the blindness - when did her vision return? When she came round? I got the feeling she was partly practising, when she was saying she couldn't see. Staring at the wall is how you practice (because a wall is blank) but in reality, when you really can't see, you still can hear and adjust your head position to at least roughly face the person who is speaking.
When I was a kid, I often woke up with eyelids glued together with bad conjunctivitis. I really mean GLUED TOGETHER. Even when I unglued them my vision would be blurry, assuming my eyes weren't so swollen they wouldn't open anyway. I always turned my head towards where someone was speaking, because it equalised the sound in my ears and actually made it easier to hear what was being said.
And it wasn't just me - when one of my kids had conjunctivitis, I remember the same thing - the blind head turning to face me.
Try it yourself with husband's cooperation. Take turns. Close your eyes and talk together. What is easier? Now pretend that you suddenly can't see - add in the panic factor. You probably would turn your head around wildly, not keep it fixed in one direction.
I also remember pretending, to try to help me understand what it would be like to be blind. This was because I had such bad eyesight anyway, and when I had to see the eye doctor for the first time my mother had told me the doctor would have to put drops in my eyes, and I wouldn't be able to see for three days. At least that is how I interpreted what she told me. I spent the next few days wondering hat it would be like, and also lamenting those three days of lost visual opportunities. I also practiced getting around with my eyes shut, to see how I would cope. How would I manage at school? How would I walk to school? I remember this in detail, even though I was only 7 years old. Maybe 8. That's how I remember the staring at the wall thing.
But with your daughter, I think part of it starts with "I wonder if...?" and then proceeds to a state of belief, of self-convincement.
Sudden apparent blindness with no obvious reason - the first thing they need to check out, is whether there is a blockage in the carotids, or if there has been a mild stroke. But given her history, they will have a few other issues to check out. Hysteria will have been high on their list, after the exclude obvious physical causes.
Next time this happens and she says she is blind, check her for pupil response. Let her sit on the bed while you flick the room light on or off. If she has pale irises, her pupil response should be fairly quick and easily apparent. If she has dark eyes, then you might need to sit close and observe by flicking a torch in and out onto her eyes. See how she responds.
The bloods - they wouldn't have been worried about drawing more blood if they needed it, but they can order more tests on the blood already taken, if they took the right tubes.
You're walking a tightrope. On the one hand, you need to take all alarms seriously. She also at some level is testing you to make sure you are looking after her. But at some level, no assurance is enough and so she ramps it up. I don't think she is doing this consciously. But on the other hand, the more you react, especially if you react with alarm, panic or "fix it now!" (which it sounds like her father is doing) the worse she will get.
The fainting - if she was faking, then it will have been an impulsive "I can;t handle talking about this any more, this is too confronting," and taking the soft option, to shut down. But when you do this, at some point you have to 'wake up' and face the music. When, and how, do you do this? While you're ling there you have fears - that someone will discover you are faking, and also that eventually you have to come back into the room and deal with things. Unless what you had to deal with is now gone. Sometimes it's a waiting game.
My sister used to pretend to faint. I copied her. But part of our game was to be convincing enough to prove that this time it was real, wile the other had to prove it was fake. Frankly, it was unhealthy and I didn't like it, we didn't do it too often and I think it stopped when I was about 6 and my sister 13.
Your daughter has problems, we know. She needs urgent help. Her father is not helping, but you know that too.
Next time she faints, throw a blanket over her. Otherwise, leave her as she is. part of having to deal with things is, "oops! I 'fainted' but I'm still not dressed!" By clothing her, you removed that factor and bought into it, if it IS hysteria. If it is not hysteria, then the embarrassment factor is something she has to come to terms with because she will have to face it very soon anyway, with the hospitalisation that is rapidly looming.
You can love your daughter and want to keep her safe, but to a point. She has to have natural consequences. When mother in law had a fall, she was in her pyjamas. Natural consequences, not her fault. husband & I had to help get her dressed. The ambulance officer helped. Any embarrassment was totally outclassed by the pain and fear that she had broken her hip. As it should be - if the need to call the ambulance is real enough, then embarrassment fades into the background. If the need is not real, then embarrassment becomes the biggest thing. It is a telling point at the time.
Jena, this is really rough on you. Whether she is genuine or not, you are being held to ransom by her condition. It is traumatic for you, adding on to your worry of her not eating or drinking enough. Amazing she is not dehydrated - how often does she shower? Is she drinking the shower water? Or drinking other water? She may not even realise she's doing it, I really don't know if she is fully aware of what she is doing.
What I think is happening - she is desperate to be looked after, to opt out for a while and have someone else do all the worrying about her. She is mentally exhausted, she is done. She is desperately calling for help. Would she voluntarily admit herself to a psychiatric ward? Or does she totally need someone else to make all the decisions for her? At some level she wants control over her own life; at another level she wants to hand it over. If someone were to take the choice away from her it would cause conflict but yet at some level, it is what she wants, I think.
it's a paradox in her head. I want to be in control. I can't handle control. I have to force someone else to choose for me. I don't accept other people to choose for me. And only the medical profession can really force the choices, because it means she can then say, "I had no choice; the hospital forced me to."
Hang in there, Jena. I do think her dad is a big part of the problem. Genetically as well as environmentally.
Marg