JKF
Well-Known Member
Hello friends. I haven't updated in a LONG time because things have been.....quiet. However, we all know that things don't stay quiet for long when it comes to our Difficult Child's.
So here's what's been happening since the last time I posted. Difficult Child was put up by OTA in temporary housing in January. He was given a room and sevices and told that they would house him for up to a year if he was compliant. The rules were simple. No friends over, attend work first meetings, and apply for mental health services. He was never fully compliant but he somehow managed to stay there for about 4 months which is equivalent to like 80 years for a Difficult Child lol. Anyway, I've been noticing certain things on his Facebook for about two months now. People were posting about parties he was throwing there and how there were holes in the walls from those parties. I also noticed that two people were living there with him. 100% against the rules. I tried to have a talk with him about complying but he told me he was fine and to mind my own business. So ok....I did. I let it go. Didn't nag him. Didn't even ask. None of my business.
Today he called me to tell me he's back on the streets. He started to give me a million reasons why it's not HIS fault. It's everyone else's fault. It's the landlord's fault. It's the case worker's fault. It's his father's fault. It's MY fault. I cut him off and said please stop wasting your breath because I don't want to hear it. We both know WHY you were kicked out so stop with the BS stories because you're wasting your time and you're wasting MY time. He promptly called me a lovely name at that point and hung up which was to be expected.
So of course 5 text messages follow. He will make it on his own. He doesn't need anyone. His friends are more family to him than his family. We never did anything to help him. ETC, ETC, ETC. Same old song and dance. I didn't reply. No reason to even waste my time.
I then started to think back to how I used to react to these things. I would go into a panic. Try to fix it for him. Obsessively check Facebook to see what he was doing, where he was, if he was still alive. Literally make myself sick from stress and worry. And then I realized - wow I have come a LONG way from those days because in all honestly I'm not really even phased. This is HIS problem from his own doing. He had choices and he made them and this is the result of HIS choices. Of course I love my son and want him to be ok, but HE continues to choose this lifestyle. He's had at least 10 amazing opportunities to change his life over the last few years and he's thrown every single opportunity away because he wants to live by his own rules and refuses to live by any rules set by others. That's his choice and I can't do anything to change that.
So yeah - just thought I'd update. We're having friends over to BBQ and sit by the fire pit so I'm going to go finish getting ready for that and have a fun, carefree evening with the people I enjoy being with most.
So here's what's been happening since the last time I posted. Difficult Child was put up by OTA in temporary housing in January. He was given a room and sevices and told that they would house him for up to a year if he was compliant. The rules were simple. No friends over, attend work first meetings, and apply for mental health services. He was never fully compliant but he somehow managed to stay there for about 4 months which is equivalent to like 80 years for a Difficult Child lol. Anyway, I've been noticing certain things on his Facebook for about two months now. People were posting about parties he was throwing there and how there were holes in the walls from those parties. I also noticed that two people were living there with him. 100% against the rules. I tried to have a talk with him about complying but he told me he was fine and to mind my own business. So ok....I did. I let it go. Didn't nag him. Didn't even ask. None of my business.
Today he called me to tell me he's back on the streets. He started to give me a million reasons why it's not HIS fault. It's everyone else's fault. It's the landlord's fault. It's the case worker's fault. It's his father's fault. It's MY fault. I cut him off and said please stop wasting your breath because I don't want to hear it. We both know WHY you were kicked out so stop with the BS stories because you're wasting your time and you're wasting MY time. He promptly called me a lovely name at that point and hung up which was to be expected.
So of course 5 text messages follow. He will make it on his own. He doesn't need anyone. His friends are more family to him than his family. We never did anything to help him. ETC, ETC, ETC. Same old song and dance. I didn't reply. No reason to even waste my time.
I then started to think back to how I used to react to these things. I would go into a panic. Try to fix it for him. Obsessively check Facebook to see what he was doing, where he was, if he was still alive. Literally make myself sick from stress and worry. And then I realized - wow I have come a LONG way from those days because in all honestly I'm not really even phased. This is HIS problem from his own doing. He had choices and he made them and this is the result of HIS choices. Of course I love my son and want him to be ok, but HE continues to choose this lifestyle. He's had at least 10 amazing opportunities to change his life over the last few years and he's thrown every single opportunity away because he wants to live by his own rules and refuses to live by any rules set by others. That's his choice and I can't do anything to change that.
So yeah - just thought I'd update. We're having friends over to BBQ and sit by the fire pit so I'm going to go finish getting ready for that and have a fun, carefree evening with the people I enjoy being with most.
