Received a call from Job Corps to my cell phone AND our home phone yesterday. The nurse was checking to see if my daughter had her medications. Um, don't you all know she isn't staying here??? She has a phone (which is turned off due to non-payment most of the time). She instead gives out my cell number like it's her own. I texted her the message and told her to make sure she gave them HER phone number as a contact (added that I'm not her secretary - probably shouldn't have said that, but, yeah, I'm not her secretary). She replied that she did give them her number and that she "isn't stupid" - this is one of her go-to lines. I didn't reply. She's over 18, why are they even calling me? Why do I allow this to annoy me so much?
I understand your frustration. It's even worse when they give creditors our number. I finally told them I have no idea where she was, half the time that was true. They finally gave up.
I think you did all that you could do. Maybe you could have said it better, but the truth is, at least for me, it doesn't matter what I say my Difficult Child will always find fault. It is reasonable that your Difficult Child learn it is up to her to manage her life, not you.
My Difficult Child was making progress. She is 41 and pregnant for the first time, living with the baby daddy's family, and daddy doesn't work either. She is/was sober and we had a wonderful normal phone conversation for the first time in years. I got online with her and bought her some maternity clothes. She was so grateful. Now I have texted her twice with no answer. Her sister put us in a 3 person text and my Difficult Child addressed her sister by name and didn't even acknowledge me. Today I sent her the tracking info for her package and she has not responded. I know this game all too well. In her mind, I have done something very upsetting. It's not me, of course, it's her and her casting her bad deed off on me because it's too painful for her. I get that, but guess what? I have a psyche to protect too and accepting responsibility for something I did not do only destroys me. I accept her problems are far beyond anything I know how to help with. You did the best you could. I am glad to hear you are sticking to the boundaries. It is encouraging for all of us here. One little misstep, giving into emotions instead of logic, and it starts all over again. I think we become annoyed because we want better. We become frustrated because we know there isn't a darn thing we can do about it. All the more reason to stay the course.
Wishing you only the best. In healing
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