Another set back :(

[InsaneCdn]

I am also trying to figure out if it is cheaper to eat out or cook at home. Groceries are just getting ridiculous!!!

Cooking at home is cheaper... IF you can do it all 100% from scratch, plan ahead, etc. But that takes TIME... of course.

 

[comatheart]

Wow. Well, I'm sorry she continues to self sabbotage. I'm relieved she took it so well. Before you know it, he'll be there full time. It seems these are relatively minor setbacks, but I understand their concern and need for consequences. Again, such an amazing program. You all are so lucky to have found it.

 

[Childofmine]

Pg I am just getting caught up on this thread. I so understand. Difficult Child has been improving steadily for about a year now but it is not all roses and perfect. I still have to work hard on myself to have no expectations and let him live his own life without my interference and enabling. The work continues even after things get much better. This work on ourselves will continue for the rest of our lives. It will never be a "happy ending." That isn't life. Life is messy and chaotic and back and forth and people make mistakes and have problems and relapse. We have to settle in and see clearly. I know we all thought that once they started walking in a new direction that everything would be hunky dory. Not. I know having a small child must be very challenging in many respects and you are ready to "get back" to your life and for her to take over. That is understandable. Hang in there. It's still tough stuff.

 

[susiestar]

One thing that might help you is to realize that your daughter is still not done developing. Her brain is still developing the part used to make decisions etc... This won't be done for a few more years and when you add the years of addiction, it puts her farther behind. So taking a step back when you get upset, working to detach, etc... are going to be very helpful. Of course she is still responsible for her actions, but telling yourself that she is still 'cooking' can help you keep perspective and not stress so badly.

I also would not plan for things to happen on the schedule you think they will. Real recovery doesn't work like that. So often the prospect of a big change does create self sabotage and some of it is unconscious, and it is part of the whole process.

I am sorry it has been so stressful. But she is making real progress, and that is a great thing.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Thank you - I have realized that it was my own expectations that were the reason I would get upset. She IS making tremendous progress and she has no desire to leave - she will make it through. I do have faith. I am missing her terribly today...I can't wait to see her when I drop Connor off later!! (Even if it is only for five minutes...)

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Got a call today - Connor will go back this weekend and stay two weeks!! They are going to see how she does with that, but I am guessing it won't be much longer before he is with her full time... <3

 

[BusynMember]

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy for M!!!! I knew she could do it!!!!!! Happy for all of you!

 

[comatheart]

How exciting!! How has he been doing going back and forth so far?

 

[PatriotsGirl]

He has been just fine! I think transitioning him the way we have had been helping a ton. He has been going every weekend for a month now and she has had to work some of those weekends. Now we will try the two weeks but I know it will be fine.

husband had a heart attack when I told him two weeks...lol.

I can imagine how giddy with excitement she must be!! I saw her break down and cry on her friend's shoulder when we were leaving Sunday...

 

[lovemyson1]

Awe, so happy Connor is getting more time with mommy! Stay strong PG, so happy for the progress!

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Wow, it is really weird waking up on a weekday and not having Connor to get ready and bring to daycare! It was really hard on him with me leaving on Saturday. He wanted to go bye bye with me. That just reaffirmed that this is so badly needed. He really needs to rebuild that bond with momma...she had all weekend off and was going back to work today so it is good that they had some time together. I know the trial period is going to go great so I am banking on this being permanent. We have cleaned up all of the baby stuff and put in his room and the garage. If we need to pull it back out, we will, but for now - it does feel good to have my house back. But I do miss him. Sigh. Bittersweet, for sure.

M and I did a lot of hugging on Saturday. Our relationship is just SO different now. I remarked to husband about how there used to be SO much tension around her and he agreed but that is GONE now. I love being with her and I hate leaving her. Such a great place to be... <3

I am going to go back to yoga tonight. Time for me to focus on me again...

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Okay I miss him. Badly. This is the longest I have been away from him in almost two years...

I can't help thinking if I am missing him this badly over just a few days, I cannot imagine the hades that she went through for seven months only seeing him every other week for a few hours. Wow. I have a whole new appreciation for how she felt and that makes me even happier that he is with her.

But it is TOO quiet here now...

 

[InsaneCdn]

Sending hugs. Not as good as toddler hugs but... you might get some of those on the weekend?

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Thanks! Next weekend...yes. Seems so far away! Going to be a long two weeks...oh my...

 

[comatheart]

Aww! ((((Hugs))))