Anyone else's child argue/ say the opposite of EVERYTHING, like a compulsion?

[TerryJ2]

Interesting that this thread popped up again. My son is just starting to come out of that "phase." He will always be into arguing, but he is not as bad as he was, say, 3 yrs ago.
Just wanted to say that there is hope!

 

[lovelyboy]

I agree with the other posters.....my son was diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) not otherwise specified, but I think he is closer to AS!
He always, well almost allways says no....when he says yes, it just doesnt sound right in my ears.....maybe thats how it feels to him to!?I remember a time when he said no for things I really expected a yes....when I ask him "really"?!....he would answer...no man...dont you know when I say no it means yes and when I say yes it actually means no!!! HUh....
He also did this thing...we have a township with the name Mamelodi....then he would say no its Papalodi (in our language mama is mother and pappa daddy...so the oposite)....He also sometimes makes up his own new words...very nice actually....I just remind him that he needs to remember that others dont understand the meaning....he needs to explain what it means....
Regarding not seing some people down the isle...this could MAYBE be that he becomes anxious with all the sensory stimulation in the shop....I shared previously that truely by accident we discovered that my son has micropsia....where in his brain he shrinks the people and they become as small as ants....mostly when he is stressed in school....so he might really not "see" them.....my son will also sometimes say it feels as if he is watching a video in slow motion while observing his environment....so dont assume what he is telling you is not true.....maybe he is just not expressing himself correctly.....
I so fully agree that it truely sounds as if your son has auditory processing issues.....when he gives the word back incorrectly...it can really be thatbin his mind he is saying it right, but it comes out wrong....he might even have problems with auditory closure or poor discrimination.....a good speech evaluation might help when he is bit older.....
I know how confusing all this is....it caused so much arguments in our home, my husband still falls for the arguments....now I just remind him that my son is stuck....just leave and ignore it.....it will pass.....and it does! Just to give you an idea....my son is , I think and hope, really very clever.....for some of his ST tests he tested age 11 yrs! But to our shock and amazement his expressive language(even though he talks fluantly and intelligently).... Tested 3 yr delay!!!!! We NEVER expected this! In some of his scoring there were a 6 yr gap! Imagine how frustrating this must be for our kids!!!!!
Strenghts!

 

[buddy]

LOL I had to pop in again... after resuming therapeutic horseback riding today, we came home and my typically oppositional sounding son said when I opened the garage door for him, "thanks" .... usually he says "you dont need to hold the door... I GOT IT" and then as we walked up the stairs he asked something and I said no and he said "ok" ... UMMMM what pod person took over the body of my son for the last hour???

I am telling you this riding thing.... I dont understand the mystic thing that happens.

 

[TerryJ2]

Good for you, Buddy!
It's amazing and wonderful when that happens. All too seldom, of course.

 

[Shantone12345]

I guess there is hope for me and my daughter . She is 6 and she swears she knows it all. Sometimes I get so mad at her I just need to breath and put my self in time out. I hope there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[TerryJ2]

Does she have a working diagnosis, Shantone?

 

[PlainJane]

Hi Kimmie -I go through something similiar ALL the time with my difficult child and it is exhausting and very very frustrating. He is 10 and has been diagnosed with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and ODD. EXTREMELY argumentative. Whenever we tell him something that he doesn't want to hear, he says some version of "No it's not". If we tell him he can't play with someone because they're not home and that we are positive of this because we saw them leave, he says "No" or "No they didn't". This basically goes on all day. Sometimes i think it is a compulsion because he has told me before that he feels like he has to say something, sometimes I think it's all he knows and its become a habit, and sometimes I think it's because he is just so argumentative. At this point, we just say something like "OK" and walk away. Works most of the time but it definitely takes its toll on everybody. Another strange thing he does is if one of his few remaining friends is over and he wants them to stay for dinner but they tell him THEY don't want to, he basically skips right over that part and continues to ask if they can call their parents to ask if it's ok...lol. You're NOT alone.

You hit the nail on the head with this. EXACTLY. I think you also got it right when you said it takes its toll on everyone. We take the same approach, saying something like "ok" and walking away. Any engaging with our difficult child continues the fighting. But the constant negativity is draining. I've spoken with his teacher, he's in classified public pre school, and his social skills therapist (he has a social skills group / therapy once a week in the evening) and both have reported on this negativity, and that it is directed at other kids. I'm worried he will have trouble making friends and he gets older and kids start to form social clicks.

I also want to say that although I disappear for chunks of time, I do come back and read everyone's responses. THank you all!

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

difficult child 1 was like this, still is at times. Don't have much time to respond but others have already said everything I would have said. For us, ignoring this behavior worked best. If it was impossible to ignore, some of the time we could diffuse the situation by using humor. SFR

 

[taylor21]

Hi All!
I've lurked here from time to time, just looking for answers and sometimes just to realize husband and I are not alone in raising DS. I have 2 kids, DS that is 4 y/o given Autism Spectrum Disorders (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)) diagnoses at 2, but they are now saying they believe he maybe ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)), ODD, but won't diagnose so young. My other little one is 15 months, and shows none of the delays / social issues my older one showed.
So it my older son in question here.

He has had a compulsion to say the opposite of everything since language started during ST. At the time the therapist really blew off my concern for this odd habit, but now its grown into him being argumentative with everything. To the point that husband and I find ourselves avoiding interaction with him because its so exhausting and unpleasant. He denies reality. That's the best way I can describe it. Example:

If we were in an aisle at the store, he might point at someone and say, "I don't see anyone there". At which point husband or I might say "yes there is a woman there." And he will say "No there's not." This would go on, so we don't even acknowledge these statements. When he was learning to talk with ST, if we said a word like "downtown" he'd get very angry and say "NO! UP town". If he saw a red light, he yell that the light was green. The therapists kept telling us that we should be amazed at his understanding of opposites, and to let it go, and it would stop.

He used to argue with the TV and talking toys. We had a toy that said "Its learning time" and he'd yell "No it kearning time" Or "zearning time" or whatever rhymed, because if he couldn't think of the opposite, he made up a nonsence word. This behavior has decreased over the past year.

Its like he is so driven to argue that it is his primary way to interact. The therapists and doctor don't really have any suggestions, and won't officially diagnose him this young, which I understand. I'm just wondering has anyone ever seen this before?

Yes my daughter does this behavior as well, though not during every interaction. She is 2yrs will be 3 in 4 months. She will say she wants us to help her then when we do say no I don't want you to help me. She will say she wants "this" and I give it to her she says she don't want that no more and gets upset. I sing and she says she don't want me to sing and screams at me. She has a more limited vocabulary than your son since she's younger but I see a lot of what you're talking about too. She doesn't even let us play with her though she says she wants us to and then gets mad at whatever we're doing and tells us she don't want us to do that, etc. Was just thinking this is a Terrible twos stage but as I work with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) children and in the behavioral health field have been a little concerned with the extent to which she does this.