S
Signorina
Guest
Oh sweetie, my heart aches for you. I understand your pain and frustration. I hope boot camp turns out to be a positive step for your son and will keep him in my prayers. {{{hugs}}}
Asking for prayers for my difficult child for court on Monday
- Thread starter pinevalley
- Start date
DDD
Well-Known Member
Reading your post brings back painful and still vivid memories. Please know that I understand and wish there was a way to send comfort via this post.
I'm quite sure you were not around when my grandson turned his apparently near perfect life into a nightmare that has lasted for years. It was so shocking and so unexpected and I really couldn't accept that it had been his choice.
BUT...it was his choice. Going to Court and having arrogant Prosecutors seeking maximum incarceration etc. was a huge shock. I had not realized what an adversarial legal system we had!
on the other hand, exhale and be thankful that he did not get to prison. Even though they "sort" prisoners before assigning them to facilities many of difficult child#1's "friends" have been molded into criminal behaviors via incarceration. Personally I know two young men who were sent to boot camp. They both survived and one came out a much better person. That boy had never been into physical activity, he was far more passive than he was aggressive...and he thrived in the structure and in his personal development. Obviously it can go either way for your son. If he can "man up" for the experience there is a chance he may be ready to move on toward adulthood.
Meanwhile I "know" your pain and I also know that you have an opportunity to catch up on your rest, relearn the joys of not dreading a phone call or a knock on your door, try to find something "fun" to do. Don't serve his sentence with him, my friend. That won't help him and it surely won't help you. It's time for him to chart his future...you, too.
Hugs. DDD
I'm quite sure you were not around when my grandson turned his apparently near perfect life into a nightmare that has lasted for years. It was so shocking and so unexpected and I really couldn't accept that it had been his choice.
BUT...it was his choice. Going to Court and having arrogant Prosecutors seeking maximum incarceration etc. was a huge shock. I had not realized what an adversarial legal system we had!
on the other hand, exhale and be thankful that he did not get to prison. Even though they "sort" prisoners before assigning them to facilities many of difficult child#1's "friends" have been molded into criminal behaviors via incarceration. Personally I know two young men who were sent to boot camp. They both survived and one came out a much better person. That boy had never been into physical activity, he was far more passive than he was aggressive...and he thrived in the structure and in his personal development. Obviously it can go either way for your son. If he can "man up" for the experience there is a chance he may be ready to move on toward adulthood.
Meanwhile I "know" your pain and I also know that you have an opportunity to catch up on your rest, relearn the joys of not dreading a phone call or a knock on your door, try to find something "fun" to do. Don't serve his sentence with him, my friend. That won't help him and it surely won't help you. It's time for him to chart his future...you, too.
Hugs. DDD
SuZir
Well-Known Member
I'm sorry it didn't go as you hoped. But still, he is not in prison and that is a good thing because instead of scaring people right prisons tend to teach people how to be criminals and give them criminal identity and mind frame. I can't claim any knowledge of your boot camp system but I would bet that hard work and physical hardship is somewhat talked up. They want people to survive after all, not have to quit it. And most of nowadays youth is ill prepared to hard labour or hard exercise and I'm sure people who run those camps know it.
Talking the hardship up is a scare tactic both those outside and those just starting, but if your kid is not physically disabled or really in ill fit, he is likely to be able to make it if he so chooses. I bet most of the kids they get are not in very good shape either.
Talking the hardship up is a scare tactic both those outside and those just starting, but if your kid is not physically disabled or really in ill fit, he is likely to be able to make it if he so chooses. I bet most of the kids they get are not in very good shape either.
exhausted
Active Member
PV,
I am so sorry for your pain and that you are worried for your boy. It is unbearable I am sure. I do agree that going to prison teaches criminal behaviors. What they have to do to survive that place is scary. I think boot camp is not going to be easy but he seems to want this instead of prison. Feel your pain but continue to take care of yourself. We can all help by sending prayers and good intentions out there for your difficult child. I hope you and husband will find comfort in each other and that in 30 days, difficult child will have a positive turn of attitude to share. A giant hug ((((hug)))).
I am so sorry for your pain and that you are worried for your boy. It is unbearable I am sure. I do agree that going to prison teaches criminal behaviors. What they have to do to survive that place is scary. I think boot camp is not going to be easy but he seems to want this instead of prison. Feel your pain but continue to take care of yourself. We can all help by sending prayers and good intentions out there for your difficult child. I hope you and husband will find comfort in each other and that in 30 days, difficult child will have a positive turn of attitude to share. A giant hug ((((hug)))).
gottaloveem
Active Member
Keeping my fingers crossed that your son's time at bootcamp changes his life for the better.
I know you are worried about him, but he has handled 5 months in jail. I'm sure you never thought he could handle that.
I do know a young man who came out of boot camp a changed person. It turned his life around in a positive way.
Love,
Lia
I know you are worried about him, but he has handled 5 months in jail. I'm sure you never thought he could handle that.
I do know a young man who came out of boot camp a changed person. It turned his life around in a positive way.
Love,
Lia
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Your son can handle boot camp. Just think about how many young men and women go through boot camp every year going into the military every year. My middle son was in the Marine Corps boot camp at Parris Island for 4 months and he came out all the better for it. Yours can too. Its tough. Its not a pleasant experience but he came out a much stronger and tougher man after that.
