Back after a While...18 Yr Old Son Admitted to psychiatric Ward Last Night

[Otto von Bismark]

Hi all,

My son is 18 now. I am the same Otto Von Bismark who posted that my son was a pedophile a few years back (like there are a lot of Otto Von Bismarks running around this community). We have had no end of struggles, as most of you have also experienced.

His conduct disorder has been changed to antisocial personality disorder (brain injury at birth likely culprit), though he also has autism, and an IQ of 80. Very little impulse control. Non-violent.

Did not finish high school....we pulled from the public school (at their suggestion!) because they were unable to protect him and give him proper services. He finished 11th grade in May and I am trying to homeschool the last year of high school. Not going well. We have since had a disability rights organization take the case and they are going after the school, but that is another story.

Friday afternoon, my son said he has been hearing voices telling him to do bad things. He was suicidal four weeks ago (we sought help but were told we must wait six weeks for psychiatrist!). He threatens suicide whenever we discover that he found another child pornography source that we shut off, so within 24 hours, he was no longer suicidal, and was laughing, talking about buying books in a series he likes to read, new cell phone models, movies he wants to see, etc. It's like a suicide light switch shuts off as soon as he realizes it won't get him anything.

He is under constant supervision with in-home cameras, no electronic device access, no going out alone (pedophilia + low impulse control = much parental angst). I took a nap the other day and he sprinted to a Walgreens, bought a cell phone, came home and hooked it up to WiFi before I even woke up. I caught him the next night with it and took it away, now he is saying that the voices are telling him to get the phone and look it up, and the voices also told him to hurt his sister.

We went to hospital for inpatient psychiatric the next day (yesterday) and they admitted him.

He has history of severe reactions to medications...Zoloft makes him extremely manic (he thought he could fly if he jumped off a building) Abilify caused hallucinations. Intuniv made him a non-functioning zombie.

My point: we need some medications. He is functioning worse and worse.They told us they would try two: Luvox and Risperdal. When he called today he told me they gave him Depakote instead. Now that he is 18, I am out of the loop with docs, too, it seems.

I am now totally confused. I am also afraid of medications a bit, though I am not telling him this. We are pretty desperate. Our quality of life is getting worse as he gets older, and his QIL is horrible, if he is hearing voices. (Note: since he has sociopathic tendencies, he lies A LOT...about everything, so he may be hearing voices because he saw a movie where someone heard voices. We just can't tell.)

Anyone want to chime on these medications for an 18-year-old brain? It's new territory for us.
Thank you!

 

[in a daze]

I am so sorry you are going through this.

Are you going to a psychiatrist in private practice? You need not just any old p doctor, with his multiple severe diagnoses. Our son is doing better with a university clinic psychiatrist.

 

[Otto von Bismark]

Thank you. Yes. We took him to major teaching hospital with good psychiatric reputation. Happens to be not that far from us. I gave them copies of all his records, including abnormal eeg, mri, CT, as well as emails I have from a few experts in pedophilia whom I have reached out to, all of whom have said he we may want to look into degenerative brain disorder.
He is very complex. Part of the reason why we have had a hard time finding a psychiatrist, I think.

 

[Tanya M]

Hi Otto,

I don't know anything about these medications but I just wanted to welcome you and tell I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with.

I'm sure others will be along to offer their insight.

 

[Bratty1]

I am so sorry that you are going through this OVB. I do feel your pain as I have a child that also suffers from some of the same symptoms although he is a brilliant student. His paraphilia is Peeping Tom.

My son, 22, also refuses medication. I am not sure of those particular medications but did want to reach out and let you know that you are not alone and send hugs your way.

 

[Otto von Bismark]

Thank you all. I just got back from visiting him for the first time. It was pretty sad. He was on depakote all day...says it calmed the voices, and made him feel "calm inside" for the first time in a long time. This is good. I told him what was interesting about that is that when we look at him, he seems calm all the time. He said, "I'm not, Mom. Inside, I'm raging all the time." So I suppose this is good that he feels different immediately on depakote.

The thing that was sad for me is that his personality was visibly altered already. Perhaps because his body has to get used to things, but he talked over me, instead of with me, and didn't connect or respond to little jokes I made. I can usually get a wry smile at least, but not tonight. Very flat. I don't like to see that, when there were so many very seriously crazy people on the floor who were plotzed out of their gourds with what has to be very heavy anti-psychotics. They literally sat in chairs an drooled.

I tried to keep myself from wondering if this is going to be my son in 30 years. Heartbreaking for these people, and worrisome for me. I worry that we are on a different kind of slippery slope towards permanent dysfunction, one that involves medication impairment.

Depakote is interesting choice, as it is anti-epileptic, and my son has had abnormal EEG readings, and focal seizures. Perhaps it will help with the stuff going on in his frontal lobe. Also, my psychologist friend told me a few minutes ago that they often put people on Depakote who have had mania, esp with SSRI medications. The Luvox they are putting him on tonight is an SSRI and the only time he has been on an SSRI he had pretty bad mania (thought he could fly, looked for my car keys [without being asked] by emptying all the drawers in my bedroom, etc...).

He just called. Told me he took the luvox and the risperdal tonight. Then he said, like he always does five seconds after having some new intervention, that if he had access to electronics right now, he wouldn't even be interested in looking up bad stuff.

We needed an intervention and something needed to change. Now we have one. His quality of life was deteriorating rapidly. Who knows if this will work but we have to try something, as we can't continue the way things have been doing.

 

[ksm]

Can ou check on DNA testing for medications? It is a cheek swab type tests and in a week or so, they have the info of the different enzymes in his body and which medications respond best to his DNA. It is an expensive test, so best to see if insurance covers.

We found out that one daughter did not have a specific enzyme...apbut had twice as many of another...so she metabolized it too fast. It will give lists of Rx that is best suited...and lists that need to be used with caution.

KSM

 

[Otto von Bismark]

I have never heard of this? Is there a name for it? I am all over this. I am so not into medications, and my son seems to get very bad side effects that he has not been able to be on medications. We've been commando, so to speak, for a number of years. If he needs to be on medications, and he may well need them, I don't want to dork around making him miserable with the wrong ones.

 

[BusynMember]

The medications they have put him on are for a mood disorder. Many anti epileptic medications are used for mood stabilization. I have such a disorder and don't like mood stabilizers...they make me feel flat and emotionless. But one pill is probably too soon to see if it will help.

They also put him on an ssri antidepressant and Risperdal which is an anti psychotic. It would help the voices. Voices are common hallucinations in bipolar mania and schizophrenia. They can have a strong affect on how a mentally ill person behaves. (This is just what I have read. I get depressed without an antidepressant, but have not myself experienced hallucinations). So I am no expert. I do like to research mental illnesses.

The DNA test is just a cheek swab. I'd do it. I started medications way before the test was available and I was pretty much a guinea pig until they found a medication that really helps me. I don't know how accurate the swab test is, but other than this it is trial and error. Do use it.

Medication is not bad. Would you not want your son to take insulin if he had diabetes? They are both physical illnesses.

I hope your son gets much, much better. I am sorry for your hurting heart.

 

[susiestar]

We had amazing results from risperdal for quite a few years. It really helped with my son's violent behaviors. He was much younger than your son when he took it though. I would give it a chance, esp as he is in the hospital where any side effects can be monitored. We didn't have as much luck with depakote, but I know people hwo have had great results from it. Luvox was wonderful for my son. He has major depression and it wasn't until he was on Luvox, trazodone and strattera that he was able to turn his behavior around totally. Luvox helped him a LOT, and didn't give him the bad side effects that some of the ssri's and snri's did.

I would push for the dna test. Most psychiatrists are aware of it, so if you ask for the dna test to help determine which medications would work best, they should know what you are asking for.

Is there a chance that you could file for guardianship of him now that he is 18? It sure sounds like he is not capable of handling his affairs, and that you would have a very good case for guardianship, esp given his pedophilia and inability to control his behaviors combined with low IQ. This would give you more say over his medical care. I think that his medical care probably involved decisions that are beyond his capability and he likely NEEDS someone to monitor things and help him make decisions like a guardian. If you don't feel capable of being his guardian for this stuff, you can ask the court to provide a guardian ad litem, but it takes a LOT of control away from you and puts it in the hands of the lawyers and court and I know that wouldn't go over well with me. But it is an option. Also, does he get SSI or disability of any kind? I would think he would be eligible for that as working is going to be a real challenge given computers in the workplace and his determination to find and view child porn. Having SSI would likely open up some facilities where he could live and be supervised by others and would take a great weight off of you, I would think. I know how hard it is to try to supervise someone 24/7 as we had to do this with my son so that he would not harm my daughter. It is almost impossible to do this in a home setting, and you are doing an amazing job of it. It must take a huge toll on you, and at some point it will be too much, so looking into placements now might be a good thing.

I hope you take advantage of the time he is inpatient to do things to recharge your batteries and treat yourself.

 

[Otto von Bismark]

Heavens to Betsy, I love you people (There, satisfied my fantasy of using an archaic phrase from the 1800s).

Thank you for the positive reports on those medications.

I agree that medications aren't bad. Sometimes people really need them. I also know that some doctors overprescribe and I do have a bit of a fear of unknown with them, though, as we have had bad reactions to them in the past. From Abilify he has had hallucinations so badly that he banged his head against the wall to try and make them stop. He would wake us up shrieking in the middle of the night saying he could hear "them calling his name." He had an episode of hallucinations at school, and I had to go get him.
He has gotten very suicidal and manic on Zoloft. He took Vyvance and lost so much weight we had to stop. On Intuniv he would wake up for school, eat breakfast, sleep on the drive in to school, go to school, not speak at school, sleep on the way home, sleep until dinner, eat dinner, then go to bed. He was basically not present.

Yes, the diabetes medication example is the one that I used for my son last night. I told him the exact same thing when he said he was feeling bad that he needed psychiatric help. I told him we are all big bags of walking chemicals, lol, and sometimes the chemicals in our brains can get out of whack and need help balancing. Then I gave him the diabetes example and said it is fine to be on medications if you need them.

We are very unsuccessful Goldilocks story so far...everything either too big or too little or too hard or too soft, but we did not try hard in the past. We are going try earnestly now, though, because he is in a safe place to do it.

If there is one that is not working well, how will I know which one it is if they immediately start him on three?

As far as guardianship -- I need to figure out how to get this. It was difficult finding out what medications he was on yesterday and my son is not able to tell me details the nurses tell him. They finally let him sign a paper. Will be initiating this today.

And I applied for SSI LAST WEEK!!!!! So glad to hear you say this, because it felt like giving up on his ability to work. He has applied for 20 jobs over the summer and early fall and can't get past interview stage, so he feels pretty worthless. We were choosing places that did not have computer access at first...like fast food places, one little retail shop, warehouses for manufacturing work (no kids). I soon realized (after he started sneaking to pharmacy to buy phones he could access our wifi with) that he needed to be supervised all the time, that we can't trust what he will do without someone to really watch him. I also realized that I would be nuts on a daily basis if he were at a job where kids were present, like a grocery store. He wouldn't grab a kid, or try to lure one away, we are pretty sure. When he is being watched...nicest guy. Sweet. Handsome. When you turn your back.....he makes terrible decisions almost constantly. And "pretty sure" isn't enough, when the safety of kids is at risk. We have an obligation to society.

His dream is to become a phlebotomist. He really wants this. And he wants his own apartment with a couple of roommates. I would love this for him, but I can't see it happening, at least right now. So sad to watch the dreams dry up and blow away.

Susiestar, my daughters, when they lived here and when they come for visits (increasingly rare now, as they don't want to be around their brother...we take turns and visit them) sleep with their door locked. They never brought friends home from school, EVER. It was so hard. I am sorry that your family went through that.

How do I find placement for housing? I do searches and have no idea on how it works. Also, we are moving to another state soon (one that is better with adult disability resources). I keep looking for places but I suppose they don't have websites.

This helps so much. I need this right now. Thank you to all who replied.

 

[ksm]

Ovb...Google DNA testing for medication...some good articles will pop up. You are an awesome parent!

Hopefully your insurance will cover it...call and make sure first. The mental health clinic that suggested it said a testing company had offered them the test for patients, and if insurance did not cover they had an application for reduced fees from $100 to $25. Well our insurance didn't pay and I got a bill for $4000. It took a while to get it taken care if since the lab asked for a copy of insurance denial and my insurance didn't deny, they just didn't pay and had sent a letter to the lab requesting more information. Then the lab wouldn't respond to their letter. Catch 22. Eventually, the lab wrote off the whole thing and I didn't have to pay even the reduced fees... KSM

 

[so ready to live]

Hi OVB. So sorry you have to go through this. Our Difficult Child is also the youngest of five. He has Fetal alcohol effects with low IQ, impulse control and all that goes with it.

And I applied for SSI LAST WEEK!!!!! So glad to hear you say this, because it felt like giving up on his ability to work.

We too resisted SSI until he was 21 when it became apparent he could not (or would not) keep a job. I was so torn about the decision, feeling as if this set him up to say "See--I can't work, I'm no good". I didn't want a life of dependence for him. He got the SSI first try (we had social worker assistance to apply), the first five year review he lost it due to SSI determining he was "better". Huh? The fetal alcohol must have simply resolved, right? Never got it back, I'm not sure if this was good or bad, he still doesn't work 3 yrs later. He does get some native american assistance, he could get so much more but it seems too much effort to him. He makes no attempt to support himself and says things like "I don't have to work, I'm not like you".
You sound as if you've done so much for your son in this impossible situation-who could have tried harder than you have? My heart goes out to you, may the doctors find something that works, may you find PEACE. PS-love the "Heavens to Betsy" comment, i will use that one today! Prayers.

 

[RN0441]

Otto

So sorry to hear what you are going through and wanted to tell you that your son is one lucky guy to have a wonderful mother like you! It is so evident how much you love him.

I don't know anything about this but wanted to offer my support and it sounds like you are getting some great advice and information!

Hopefully the struggles you are going through right now will pay off in the long run for you and your family. That is all we can hope for with any of our kids.

The silver lining.

 

[in a daze]

He got the SSI first try (we had social worker assistance to apply), the first five year review he lost it due to SSI determining he was "better". Huh? The fetal alcohol must have simply resolved, right? Never got it back, I'm not sure if this was good or bad, he still doesn't work 3 yrs later.

That's too bad. Did you consider getting a disability lawyer?

Coincidently, I just got off the phone with Social Security today. Our son was approved for benefits in 2013 but has been working part time for the last 2.5 years, so had enough credits to go on SS disability, passed his "work trial" and now gets no benefits starting this month, although he can retain Medicare for the next seven years. Income low enough that he can continue Medicaid. Medicaid finally agreed to pay for his expensive antidepressant after multiple phone calls, letters, etc. it's about the 10th one he's tried and the only one that works. Very stressful.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Otto, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with your son. You've gotten good advice and support, I can't add anything else, other than to let you know I'm reading along and sending warm wishes for your family.

You might try contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can reach them online, they have chapters in many cities. They offer excellent courses for parents and possibly can offer guidance, support, information and compassion for your son as well.

Hang in there, get yourself support..... this is tough stuff........ and keep posting, it all helps. I'm glad you're here.