L
LostMama
Guest
Our family went to Camp Consequence this past weekend. It was brutal for kids and parents. It was me, hubby, difficult child and our somewhat compliant children - 9 yo, 7 yo, 7yo. Our 3 year old was too young for camp so she stayed with a relative.
I had to lie to difficult child to get her there. Well, I didn't lie but I let her think we were going home. It wasn't until we pulled in the correctional facility that she realized something was going on. (The camp is on the grounds of our local jail.) Fortunately, they were prepared & knew how to deal with her when she flipped out. My job was to get out of the van and to lock the door behind her when she got out so that she wouldn't try to get back in. She did indeed flip out!
She cried and carried on for 2 hours. Then she put her jumpsuit on and complied with the program 100% for the rest of the weekend.
I won't lie. Camp was miserable. We could NOT talk to our kids until Sunday. We worked in a garden with the kids on Saturday but we weren't allowed to talk to our kids at all. I wasn't able to comfort my 7 yo when he was put in a time out. (He had run up and told me he wanted to go home.) Poor kid sobbed & it broke my heart.
The parents came back from the garden earlier then the kids and we worked on our family plan, mapping out rules and consequences.
And the results so far??
Our home has already changed dramatically. Our younger kids were having a REALLY hard time getting to bed. In the past, I'd kindly ask then husband would ask but they wouldn't really get in bed & stay in bed until one of us blew. That problem has been solved. It makes our evenings so much nicer! And that was from our somewhat compliant children.
Our difficult child?? She has been VERY compliant. She did tell me that she was just faking it and that she still planned on doing what she wanted. We found out that she's been smoking pot and she told me that she plans on cutting back now. Cutting back???? As a part of camp, we visited the women in jail and they told us how they got there. 90% of them are in jail for drug charges. A little pot turned into other addictions which turned into prostitution for some of the women. One of the girls was arrested for having a few pot SEEDS in her wallet. She's been in jail for 9 months waiting for her court date. Some of the girls were arrested because they were simply around others were got busted. Oye! And my strong-willed difficult child is just going to cut back??? We had her do a drug test on Sunday and it was negative so we know she is clear now. We'll do another one soon.
I have no doubt that we are in the honeymoon phase and that things will explode at some point. But for now...I'm really happy. Oh and she earned her first negative consequence for causing me to be late yesterday. I wish you could have seen difficult child's face when she saw that we had the fridge locked! Legally, you have to provide food for your child but it doesn't have to be what they want. So, I locked up all the snacky food & cereals. She got mad which is really the desired effect. Anyhow, the program is working & I feel in control. No more yelling! Yay!
I had to lie to difficult child to get her there. Well, I didn't lie but I let her think we were going home. It wasn't until we pulled in the correctional facility that she realized something was going on. (The camp is on the grounds of our local jail.) Fortunately, they were prepared & knew how to deal with her when she flipped out. My job was to get out of the van and to lock the door behind her when she got out so that she wouldn't try to get back in. She did indeed flip out!
She cried and carried on for 2 hours. Then she put her jumpsuit on and complied with the program 100% for the rest of the weekend.
I won't lie. Camp was miserable. We could NOT talk to our kids until Sunday. We worked in a garden with the kids on Saturday but we weren't allowed to talk to our kids at all. I wasn't able to comfort my 7 yo when he was put in a time out. (He had run up and told me he wanted to go home.) Poor kid sobbed & it broke my heart.
The parents came back from the garden earlier then the kids and we worked on our family plan, mapping out rules and consequences.
And the results so far??
Our home has already changed dramatically. Our younger kids were having a REALLY hard time getting to bed. In the past, I'd kindly ask then husband would ask but they wouldn't really get in bed & stay in bed until one of us blew. That problem has been solved. It makes our evenings so much nicer! And that was from our somewhat compliant children.
Our difficult child?? She has been VERY compliant. She did tell me that she was just faking it and that she still planned on doing what she wanted. We found out that she's been smoking pot and she told me that she plans on cutting back now. Cutting back???? As a part of camp, we visited the women in jail and they told us how they got there. 90% of them are in jail for drug charges. A little pot turned into other addictions which turned into prostitution for some of the women. One of the girls was arrested for having a few pot SEEDS in her wallet. She's been in jail for 9 months waiting for her court date. Some of the girls were arrested because they were simply around others were got busted. Oye! And my strong-willed difficult child is just going to cut back??? We had her do a drug test on Sunday and it was negative so we know she is clear now. We'll do another one soon.
I have no doubt that we are in the honeymoon phase and that things will explode at some point. But for now...I'm really happy. Oh and she earned her first negative consequence for causing me to be late yesterday. I wish you could have seen difficult child's face when she saw that we had the fridge locked! Legally, you have to provide food for your child but it doesn't have to be what they want. So, I locked up all the snacky food & cereals. She got mad which is really the desired effect. Anyhow, the program is working & I feel in control. No more yelling! Yay!
