Birthday Dinner

[bluebell]

Well, Difficult Child decided to take us up on our offer to take him to dinner on his 22nd birthday Monday. He picked a very expensive sushi restaurant across town, so it was quite a bit out of our comfort zone, both in time, distance and money. I had offered to cook for him because in the last few months that he was home he never wanted to go out with us. I was very nervous too. My daughter and her boyfriend went as well.

He looked really good, says he's clean and well, he just might be. He was full of hyperbole and grandiose delusions about his future and some girl he's been chasing. Talked about his new job delivering pizzas. That is sad for me because I know how bad the fall will be. But I nod and smile. He gave my husband the longest hug out of all of us. So strange their relationship that can go from potential violence to affection in a space of a few months.

Anyway I just wanted to report the not so bad news too, and not just the bad. Someone attempted to rob my daughter and her boyfriend later that night in a parking lot, so my peace was shattered. I am just thankful everyone is (still) ok. It's such a beautiful, horrible world.

 

[RN0441]

Glad that you all had a nice dinner and visit. One day at a time. Take this as a good visit.

 

[newstart]

Well, Difficult Child decided to take us up on our offer to take him to dinner on his 22nd birthday Monday. He picked a very expensive sushi restaurant across town, so it was quite a bit out of our comfort zone, both in time, distance and money. I had offered to cook for him because in the last few months that he was home he never wanted to go out with us. I was very nervous too. My daughter and her boyfriend went as well.

He looked really good, says he's clean and well, he just might be. He was full of hyperbole and grandiose delusions about his future and some girl he's been chasing. Talked about his new job delivering pizzas. That is sad for me because I know how bad the fall will be. But I nod and smile. He gave my husband the longest hug out of all of us. So strange their relationship that can go from potential violence to affection in a space of a few months.

Anyway I just wanted to report the not so bad news too, and not just the bad. Someone attempted to rob my daughter and her boyfriend later that night in a parking lot, so my peace was shattered. I am just thankful everyone is (still) ok. It's such a beautiful, horrible world.

Bluebell, Very nice of you to let your son pick where ever he wanted to eat for his birthday. I used to do that with my daughter and like your son she would pick the most expensive place, now I just say, I am making your favorite meal at my house for your birthday. On my daughter's birthday month, she celebrates her birthday all month, it is so obnoxious. Glad your daughter and boyfriend did not get hurt with the attempted robbery.

 

[Elsi]

Bluebell, I’m so glad you had a good evening out with everyone. (And very glad everyone is ok after the attempted robbery! It indeed a beautiful and horrible world.)

I have learned to treasure moments like these with my difficult ones. It’s like an oasis in the desert, these little moments of connection and relative normalcy. I try not to let myself thing too hard about the chaos that lurks just beneath the surface and hold onto every positive interaction, every hug, every meaningful and honest conversation. Maybe because they are so infrequent, and there is so much negative in between, they are all the more precious. Little moments of grace in the storm. I hope you have many more of these moments. Maybe, for all of our children, we can hope that these moments of grace will become more frequent, closer together, until they start to outshine the darkness. That is what I pray for anyway.

 

[bluebell]

Elsi,
That was beautiful! I'm tearing up. In a good way.

Yep newstart, he caught me off guard, being a Monday and all (back to work) and answering at the last minute. Next time I will just make his favorite dinner and if he wants to show up he can. My daughter is obnoxious about her birthday as well. She turned 18 last year and I told her this was the last time I was celebrating it all month!