Brand new here...and at the end of my rope

[JennyM5451]

Hello All,
I have two daughters, 8 and 10...and they couldn't be more opposite! My 8 year old is very compliant, a people pleaser, sweet and friendly. My 10 year old (diagnosed with ADHD) is a negative thinker, very argumentative (with her immediate family, never in school), and has a hair trigger temper most of the time. After some research I believe she may have ODD along with her ADHD. I just don't have the tools yet to deal with this...anyone else in the same boat? Any advice in general for dealing with the arguing/taking back? What works with my 8 year old does nothing for the 10...

 

[Triedntrue]

I just saw this post i am sorry for your need to be here. Is your daughter on medication? I would say the most important thing is to be consistent. Everytime she uses her temper calmly hand out an appropriate punishment and carry it through. Do you go to a councelor? It might be good to ask them what is an appropriate punishment. I know it can be difficult that they can test our patience to the nth degree. I am sure others will be along.

 

[Nomad]

Welcome. So sorry to read of these struggles.
I agree with the above poster.
Our son was easy going. A few years later we adopted an infant. She was very different. Happens in bio families as well. She ended up with the bipolar diagnosis. Lots of medications and doctor appts.
It’s early to say what your situation is or might be.
Maybe you can ask the professionals for help in child rearing. Read books on the topic. Is she on medication? Yes, consistency in discipline is important. Make sure they know they are loved...but they also know the boundaries.
And therapy for yourself, at least short term might be good.
This stuff is very taxing.
Take one day at a time.