Chrissy1982
New Member
Hello I was reading your story becuase I'm in search of my own answers with my 18 year old daughter. We used to have such a great relationship until one day everything just fell apart. She had recently started dating her Jr High crush, he had always rejected her in school but for some reason this time he hung around. She left mid December after dating him for only 5 weeks, she does not reach out to us at all. In six months we have spoken to her twice and both times have gone bad. He is very controlling he would sit outside our home for hours trying to convince her to just walk out the house that she is 18 and doesn't need to ask or let us know where or who she is going with. When she didn't come out of the house or tell him she couldn't go he would call his mother and they would call the sheriff's office and have a welfare check because we where holding her against her will. Of course when the sheriff's office showed up it was not the case. It's been 6 months she has completely discarded the entire family including her 7 year old sister who she blames my husband and I for ruining their relationship. Even though she has told us she doesn't speak to her sister because she has to contact her through us. We will not allow her around our 7 year old because we just dont trust her. She has lied and betrayed us in so many ways since she has involved herself with this kid. Even almost got arrested because she was in a car with him he was doing donuts which caused rocks to fly and cause damage to cars that were in the parking lot. I forgot to mention he is a senior in HS they live with his mother and father. His mother is an enabler told me I had to let my daughter live her own life that she is 18 and she can sleep anywhere she wants. We did not raise her to be disrespectful and she had never disrespected us untill she meet these people. In April she tried to get money out of an old savings account my husband had for her told me I needed to give her the money becuase I had drained the account within the last few months and that was her money and she needed it. Account was actually closed in 2010 and I didn't have access to the account. We called the bank with her on the phone where the representative explained to her that the account had been closed for years and that she was only a beneficiary on our accounts.(which we have since taken her off) after the conversation with the bank we talked to her and my husband asked her when did we become the enemy and she responded I'm not making you the enemy you make yourselfs the eneny. Then yelled at us and told us we needed to calm down becuse she was not trying to take our money. Which is how her boy friend speaks disrespectfully. He bullied his ex girlfriend to the point that she had to register to another school for the second semester her senior year, becuase he was still mad that she broke up with him (while my daughter was dating / living with him). She used to be very close to me my husband (her father) and our younger daughter. She had close relationship with my mother, one of my sisters and several of my cousins and 1 of her cousins (my niece) She does not contact them at all. My cousin reached out to her on mothers day just to remind her that she lost her mother at the age of 17 and doesn't have a mother on earth to wish her a happy mothers day or to guide her through life but that she still had a chance to make things right and my daughter's response was that's something you should tell my parents they need to make things right with me and that includes the family becuase they don't know what it's like to be outcasted by the entire family. She tried to explain to her that she left in anger to please him and his mother but she wasn't listening. I can't talk to her because her words only anger me even more. Everyone keeps telling us shes a good kid you raised her right, she will wake up, but all this hurt and pain. She doesn't refer to us as mom and dad when she refers to us conversation its always he or she. She has all this anger towards us she has become a stranger becuase of these people she surrounds herself with now. She keeps saying she not being controlled but this is not the daughter we raised. Our family and friends are in complete shock because they know this is not her. This guy and his mother have ruined my family. He smokes pot and has done other drugs he had a bad reaction to one of the drug and his parents had to take him to the ER. (He actually told me that story himself) we dont know how to get her to wake up. Inasked her if shebwas on drugs and she responded it doesn't matter what I say because you say all I do is lie and then said we are teenagers that what we do we experiment. This boy she lives with has no aspirations for his future has told us College is not for him. I feel like I can never over come this pain.
