WiseChoices
Well-Known Member
So my husband seems codependent on me. He was very supportive and sweet with me going on my trip. He did contact me a lot and I tried to keep him in the loop as much as possible about my whereabouts to make him feel less anxious .
Since coming back, I see things a bit clearer. The house was a complete mess. Moldy cheese in fridge. He had offered to go shopping for me and forgot half of the items I had put on a list. No bread, no butter in the house . Dirt everywhere. There were 3 adults here and they did not function well without me .Husband complained a lot about the increased work load while I was gone. he used it as an excuse to not supervise that chores were getting done .I noticed he tried to avoid conflict with adult kids .
Since I have been back some of his behaviors are really bothering me . The constant rubbing on my back as I am trying to complete tasks. The grabbing of my breasts as I am trying to talk to him about my daughter. The increase in text messaging about what I am doing, am I still driving, am I home yet?
And I feel pressured for sex. I have felt this before. I am cleaning a month worth of dirt out of my house so I can feel comfortable, I am trying to get back into the grove of things, processing all the receipts he left from shopping, getting the bills caught up, and having feelings of disappointment and disgust at how the house was left for me , and he wants to have sex .
I told him I would let him know when I am ready. And noticed the increasing mood. (I am an empath). He knows of my heart ache with my daughter. I made a date with him for last night and realized by the end of the day, I feel crappy. I am still dealing with jet lag. I am tired. I had a headache all day. Needed way too much caffeine to get through the day which made me feel sick. So I cancelled on him. By the time I came back from teaching my exercise class , he was mildly pouting. Was already in bed. Eyes closed .Wouldn't say good night, hug or kiss. Knew how much I was hurting about my daughter and would not hold me .he has done this before when he does not get what he wants. I ignored it. I Al-anoned him. His feelings belong to him.
I feel like I am in a pressure cooker. My son admitted he had been slacking and did all the tasks I gave him willingly. He is pleasant. Not interested in hearing about my trip, but not adding any pressure to me whatsoever. Going to work, taking care of his work uniform, making his own food . And being chatty and friendly with me. Lots of smiles .light joking.
Since coming back, I see things a bit clearer. The house was a complete mess. Moldy cheese in fridge. He had offered to go shopping for me and forgot half of the items I had put on a list. No bread, no butter in the house . Dirt everywhere. There were 3 adults here and they did not function well without me .Husband complained a lot about the increased work load while I was gone. he used it as an excuse to not supervise that chores were getting done .I noticed he tried to avoid conflict with adult kids .
Since I have been back some of his behaviors are really bothering me . The constant rubbing on my back as I am trying to complete tasks. The grabbing of my breasts as I am trying to talk to him about my daughter. The increase in text messaging about what I am doing, am I still driving, am I home yet?
And I feel pressured for sex. I have felt this before. I am cleaning a month worth of dirt out of my house so I can feel comfortable, I am trying to get back into the grove of things, processing all the receipts he left from shopping, getting the bills caught up, and having feelings of disappointment and disgust at how the house was left for me , and he wants to have sex .
I told him I would let him know when I am ready. And noticed the increasing mood. (I am an empath). He knows of my heart ache with my daughter. I made a date with him for last night and realized by the end of the day, I feel crappy. I am still dealing with jet lag. I am tired. I had a headache all day. Needed way too much caffeine to get through the day which made me feel sick. So I cancelled on him. By the time I came back from teaching my exercise class , he was mildly pouting. Was already in bed. Eyes closed .Wouldn't say good night, hug or kiss. Knew how much I was hurting about my daughter and would not hold me .he has done this before when he does not get what he wants. I ignored it. I Al-anoned him. His feelings belong to him.
I feel like I am in a pressure cooker. My son admitted he had been slacking and did all the tasks I gave him willingly. He is pleasant. Not interested in hearing about my trip, but not adding any pressure to me whatsoever. Going to work, taking care of his work uniform, making his own food . And being chatty and friendly with me. Lots of smiles .light joking.