Sending strength and hugs for you and husband. You did above and beyond, extended help that you didn't even have for them. They took it all, ladened with their bs, and never tried to help themselves- or their kids. It's heartbreaking. To me, the lies are the worst thing. If you have the wherewithall to conjure up a lie, that energy can certainly be put to use doing the right thing- like making a phone call.
There are so many resources that can be tapped into, but they choose this lifestyle. You can do this.