Could use a hug

[Genny]

This should probably go in Watercooler, but PE feels like my home. I returned yesterday from SC, where I went for my cousin's funeral. She was shot to death by her boyfriend in the shed behind their home, while her 13-yo daughter slept. There had been a history of domestic violence, but her family couldn't get her to leave. I had a good cry with my Aunt when I confessed that she was living my worst nightmare - one that I thought I was destined to face with difficult child. She didn't know what we had gone through.

I feel traumatized, angry, and numb. I am organizing a used cell phone drive at work for our local domestic violence organization (the place where difficult child received couseling). I am going to start volunteering there. I don't know what else to do. She was a good, loving person. It is so unfair. Please say a prayer for her family - especially her daughter, who is still in shock and not dealing with it yet.

Genny

 

[carolanne]

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for your grief. No one should leave this world through hate and I am very saddened to read that your cousin suffered this.

Please know yu and your cousin and her family are in my daily prayers. I pray that you find the strength to come through this and be strong, not only for yourself but for the women you will be helping....hugs...

Carolanne

 

[Hound dog]

Genny

OMG! I'm so very sorry.

Saying prayers for you and the whole family. Many many warm and gentle (((((((hugs))))))))

 

[DDD]

Sending HUGE supportive hugs your way. I'm so sorry. DDD

 

[KFld]

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

So sorry for your loss :frown:

 

[Suz]

Genny, that's just awful beyond words and the reverberations will impact all generations. I hope the SOB who did this is never free again. I'm so terribly, terribly sorry.

Hugs,
Suz

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

How terrible and sad. I cannot fathom the grief and shock you and they are going through. Sending sympathy and prayers for all. I think it is very fitting what you are doing.

 

[everywoman]

I am so sorry Genny. It sounds like you are taking a negative and using it to postively impact the lives of others. That is such an awesome example of what we should all do.

 

[WhymeMom?]

Saying prayers for the daughter...such a tragedy....I admire your volunteering to help in your own community.....

 

[rejectedmom]

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) I am sorry for your pain. -RM

 

[Ally]

((((((Hugs))))))) Good for you for getting involved and trying to make a difference.

Ally

 

[SunnyFlorida]

So sorry Genny. Sending {{{sunny hugs}}} to you and your family. I'm glad you were there to help.

 

[Sue C]

I'm so sorry. Saying prayers....
sue

 

[Sunlight]

so sad. sigh.

 

[Scent of Cedar I]

Genny, that's horrifying.

I am so sorry, and so glad your own daughter was able to break free of the relationship she was in.

Barbara

 

[Genny]

Thank you all so much. Your kind words and prayers mean a lot. I'm doing better. Haven't watched the memorial dvd her brother made yet; he put together the pics of her used for the slideshow at her memorial, followed by family pics we all took in the following days (many of us hadn't seen each other in a loooong time) accompanied by the music used at the service (Wind Beneath My Wings and What A Wonderful World). I kmow that will bring another flood.

I wish they had told me about what she was going through. I would have reached out. At almost 5 hours away, I am the closest to her geographically. Then again, maybe they would have if they had known about difficult child's experience. I have a very large extended family and some of us drifted apart. As a result of this, we are planning a family reunion for next year.

I know difficult child was lucky. It could have easily been her funeral I attended. by the way, ex is appealing his conviction (no surprise there). I am keeping up on the progress without mentioning it to difficult child. His court-appointed lawyer filed his brief, and the DA's office has until sometime in July to file theirs. It's a little nervewracking knowing that there's till a possibility, no matter how remote, that he could get out.

Thank you all again for your love and support. I know I can always count on my CD family :angel:

Genny

 

[rejectedmom]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Genny</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
I wish they had told me about what she was going through. I would have reached out. At almost 5 hours away, I am the closest to her geographically. Then again, maybe they would have if they had known about difficult child's experience. I have a very large extended family and some of us drifted apart. As a result of this, we are planning a family reunion for next year.
Genny </div></div>

Genny, I had a friend years ago who actually asked me for help with her abusive marriage. I got all the information, found her a safe house and workshops for co dependance etc. When I presented her with the info she had a change of heart and started making excuses to stay even though she acknowledged that she often felt like he would kill her. He didn't, and I don't know if they ever got help because I moved away and lost touch with her. My point is even if you had reached out things might not have been different. Please don't dwell on it. There were many who did know her situation who couldn't get her out of it. Sadly the chances are your experience, had you tried, would not have been any different. I am glad that the family has realized that they need to draw closer and is planning a reunion. Pain such as yours needs the loving support of family and friends to heal. (((HUGS))) -RM

 

[Jen]

I am sosorry for your los, and hugs to you and your family;

Jen