Curious and not sure why. How many our our struggling adult kids are atheists?

[Jabberwockey]

And pretty ridiculous when you consider how much evil and anger in the world has its roots in organised religion.

Very true, very true. I doubt that this was meant to infer that atheist's are evil people. It was more about children rejecting social norms, whether raised as an atheist and taking up religion out of spite or vice versa.

My wife and I do medieval reenactment and meet people of all types...atheist, Christian, muslim, wican, you name it. The vast majority of these people are good and decent people.

And Lucyj, much to my shame as a man who calls himself Christian; some of the absolute worst atrocities have been committed in the name of one deity or another. Religion shouldn't be about hate and anger, it should be about love and forgiveness. Life's too short to hate.

 

[nlj]

I'm saddened by this thread.

I have to leave.

x

 

[Tanya M]

When it comes to our difficult kids being Atheist, especially those who were raised with some religious background, I think their atheism is more a rebellion against the "rules" of religion than a considered belief system.

I agree Lil.

I am not offended by someone that is an athiest, muslim, or whatever. What offends me is when, like my son did, called me so many ugly names for my beliefs. It is a matter of respect.

 

[Childofmine]

this is a very interesting question, MWM.

difficult child professes not to believe at all.

easy child also doesn't spell it out like that, but I think he is along the same lines.

What is so "interesting" about it (also painful to me) is that both of my sons were raised in church. Their dad and I (now my ex-husband) became Episcopalian after we got married. I was raised Methodist and he was raised Catholic. We "met in the middle" at the Episcopal church and we loved it.

Both boys were in Sunday School, were acolytes, in youth group, went on mission trips, etc. Their dad and I were both very active in church---so we walked the talk.

Now...they are both completely anti.

My older son, easy child, and his fiancee, are not getting married in a church. They are not having a minister marry them. She was raised in church as well, very active.

My good friend who is an Episcopal priest told me that may be the very reason they are walking fast away from faith, the church and a belief system now---because we were so involved.

I don't know. I don't really get it. I think they think they can rely on themselves to make in life.

I think not. I know not. But I can't "make" them see it---they will have to see it for themselves...or not.

It's still hard for me to take in.

 

[Lil]

I'm saddened by this thread.
I have to leave.

I wish those who are atheists would not leave, but speak up. I think you might have some valuable insights. I suspect that some of us who believe in a higher power find the lack of such rather hard to understand...one more thing we have trouble "getting" about our kids. Sadly, it also sounds like many of the kids use religion (or lack) as a means of ridiculing their parents, which is sad. I wonder if any of our parents have any ideas how to respond to such things.

I'd like to think there could be a respectful exchange of views. Maybe you could help the religious parents understand.

It's not easy. Everyone would have to be on their best behavior. Religion is always a tricky subject to discuss without it getting ... heated.

by the way: Where are your owls? I love that owl avatar!

 

[dstc_99]

No offense, dtsc_99, but I cringe when I hear about anyone being against homosexuality. I can almost see why our kids reject religion when I hear stuff like that.

Me too! It makes me angry mostly because I know how much it insults Bug who is usually sitting there.

As an atheist, I find the implication that atheists have little morality to be incredibly offensive. One does not need religion to live a moral life.

I don't think true atheists feel that way. I think our wonderfully difficult children often use atheism as a way to excuse their actions though. It is an excuse to them not really a belief.

 

[GoingNorth]

I think this is a prime example of why any discussion of religion isn't allowed on this board.

It, like politics, is too sensitive a topic, and detracts from the business at hand.

My apologies for becoming involved.

 

[dstc_99]

I think this is a prime example of why any discussion of religion isn't allowed on this board.
It, like politics, is too sensitive a topic, and detracts from the business at hand.
My apologies for becoming involved.

I had no idea we weren't allowed to discuss religion here.

My apologies if I said anything offensive.

Personally I found the thread enlightening.

 

[BusynMember]

I'm a mixture of New Age and Buddhist and believe in reincarnation, old lives, new lives and that we are mainly here to learn how to love and until we do, we will keep coming back for more lessons. And I believe that Karma happens either in this world or the next. I try hard to live up to what I feel happens when we leave earth (shrug).

My only reason for asking is that any sort of spiritual belief requires one to follow rules and have a sense of morality and, if any religion or spiritual belief is being practiced the right way, caring for others. These are all traits our grown kids we have here for lack. So I wanted to know if even one of them followed any spiritual path, be it an organized religion or a spirituality or any sense that something out there is greater than they are. I know atheists who are good and kind people and I know religious people who make me laugh when they say they follow God. That wasn't the point of my question. I just noticed a pattern of our little darlings rejecting our spiritual teachings...almost to a kid. And I wanted to check it if was true.

I don't judge people based on their religious beliefs or lack of them as long as they are good, giving people. That is ALL I care about. I keep my belief system mostly to myself.

 

[Tanya M]

I don't judge people based on their religious beliefs or lack of them as long as they are good, giving people.

I agree MWM. I do not expect people to align with my beliefs all I ask is that they respect my choice and I will respect theirs. I do not have a problem with my son being an atheist, what I have a problem with is the way he has treated me because of my beliefs and faith. Again, it comes down to respect to which my son has shown none to me.

 

[BusynMember]

This board has always allowed us to talk about our religious beliefs or lack of them. Obviously, those with religion find that very important and comforting.

Nothing negative was said about atheists in this thread. I don't agree that only religious people cause wars. Think of China and the atrocities there. There are bad people of every seed. They do not represent all or most people who believe as they do or don't believe at all. They are quite simply...not nice people.

 

[Jabberwockey]

some of the absolute worst atrocities have been committed in the name of one deity or another.

MWM, unless I missed it this is what was said about religion and violence. There has always been a large amount of violence in the world but religious entities tend to take it to the extreme. I've always been interested in The Crusades and in reading up on them not only were they a HUGE land grab in the name of God, but there were some horrific actions that were sanctioned for their shock value. I was quit surprised to find out that Christians took part in cannibalism and that it was allowed by the leadership because of the terror it instilled in the cities they attacked.

 

[BusynMember]

So did many atheists in the far Communist regimes in more recent times, but this was not a thread talking about religion or atheism. I am not involved in organized religion and don't really like debating the topic. Has nothing to do with our kids. I asked a question. I got my answer I'm done with this topic.

 

[TerryJ2]

I think that the point you make is valid--many of our difficult children are rebelling against rules and society and religion.
I'm a nonbeliever and base my philosophy on reason as best I can. It's a lot of hard work and I have found, as these notes show, that many atheists are sloppy atheists because they do believe in something, and they only believe what they want. They don't want to do the hard work of thinking everything through. It's a lot easier to diss society in general with the so-called insult, "I'm an atheist."
My son has gone through several stages and will surely go through several more.
With a nonbelieving mom and a Southern Baptist dad, he's certainly not forced into anything, lol!
I was raised Catholic, so husband and I have had a few "inappropriate" dinnertime discussions, which difficult child pretended to not care about, but which he absorbed nonetheless. It's good to see all sides. Preferably, without heated debate or a lot of eye-rolling.
I'm curious as to whether difficult children in societies like Russia or France or China, which are mostly secular (at least, that's what the govn't says), rebel and choose a religion?

 

[TerryJ2]

P.S. I read a study last yr that claimed that the majority of Aspies are atheist. I can't recall all the details, but I think that these were science and computer nerds and liked facts. I'm not sure how wide the sample study was but it was an interesting read. Sorry I didn't save it.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Terry... There are so many poorly done studies out there, that it's hard to separate the good from the bad any more. Too often, it's someone on a soapbox manipulating statistics to get the answer they want.

 

[Lil]

I'm a nonbeliever and base my philosophy on reason as best I can.

I'm glad you posted. I feel so bad that some members were offended. I'm sure no one meant to do that.

 

[Nomad]

I did intake for about a year at a drug counseling place, most were court mandated. It was all ages. Teens, young adults and up. Perhaps because of various funding, the intake form was huge and many questions were asked. There was a big section involving spiritual and/or religious beliefs. I did MANY, many intakes. Only ONE teen or young person had some spiritual background. He had been to church a few times and believed in God. And the truth is, he was one of the better participants in group counseling, etc. He was cooperative, etc. (although, one never knows). And one adult was similar....spiritual and pleasant. By far the most, the noticeable majority, were atheists.The teens and young adults had zero beliefs or even interest or knowledge of the subject. For example, FEW even knew why Easter was celebrated. They had no interest in anything spiritual (not necessarily religion). The adults weren't much better, but some at least had some general knowledge of religion (s) or had some interest in things spiritual. It was VERY interesting. Honestly, it was,noticeable to me how,there seemed to be a disproportionate number of people there(especially the younger people) without any spiritual inner faith, community...even quiet pleasant thoughts or hopes to hold onto during difficult times.

 

[GoingNorth]

I find that to be very sad. I know that I have to look within myself for strength and happiness. There is no "magic" solution from outside that will give me those things.

I have been in therapy for many years in search of those inner strengths and found it to be very helpful. The difference is that if forgiveness is in order, I have to forgive myself.

Another difference is that I studied comparative religions before making the decision not to believe. It was, on my part, an informed decision. I t was not born of rebellion against societal norms

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I was brought up "catholic". I put that in parenthesis because we didn't attend church after I made my first communion. My husband was brought up Roman catholic and rebelled against all of it. We brought up our children having free choice of their beliefs. This is actually something I am regretting now though. I wish I brought them up with that foundation. Not just about faith, but community and goodness. I have been realizing lately that I find this is something missing in my life - spirituality...but I am working on filling that void with my daughter who is very religious and is getting more so being in treatment.
My husband has some alien theory and my son doesn't believe at all. My husband does not day anything about my beliefs and I roll my eyes at his alien theory with my back turned...lol. We respect that we have different beliefs and that is okay. I am working on teaching my son to keep his little comments to himself. He is still a really good kid but since turning 17 he has his moments of that teenage attitude...ugh.