difficult child is so impossible!

[JKF]

RE - you actually brought me to tears and not in a bad way lol Your experiences and the way you word things are very touching. Your words of wisdom often make me stop and think about things from a different perspective and I thank you for that.

I had a moment before where this whole thing hit me right in the gut and I almost fell to my knees from the pain. Literally. But I made myself stop and regroup and it passed for now. I've been outside doing a little yard work and I even went to the garden center and got some tulips to enjoy. I need something pretty to look at.

It's in the 50's today which is pretty warm here compared to the cold we've had all winter. It's supposed to drop into the 20's again tonight though. I'm worried about difficult child and hope he stays warm and safe somewhere. I feel less guilt than ever before because this is his choice but I'm still terrified for his safety. Please pray for him and send him some good vibes.

 

[recoveringenabler]

JKF, I know very well that stab in the gut, that terrifying fear which grabs you like nothing else can........boy do I know how that feels. What I can say to that is this, it lessens and lessens over time. We humans are amazing in our ability to adapt, to get used to a new normal and to accept. You've done a really, really good job, right from the beginning. This detachment path is riddled with surprising turns and big holes we fall into, but if you continue your daily focus on yourself, your letting go when there is really nothing else to do, breathing through the fear, accepting what is, the fear subsides. It's the strangest and most difficult path I've ever been on, but it DOES GET BETTER. Hang in there and enjoy your tulips, your family, your life.........HUGS........I will certainly pray for your difficult child........