difficult child's current status

[klmno]

One of the big problems with my lack of trust in him is that he told me all the 'right things' before his first release for holding a knife to me- then came home and said he's planned to do whatever he wanted because he didn't care if he lived locked up or not. And now he tells me he doesn't understnad why I don't trust him now- when 'he didn't care before, he came and told me'. Yeah, but he told me AFTER he got home and he turned around and committed another offense against me with a knife- while I was sleeping, no doubt. Seriously, as much as I'd love to bring my son home for the holidays and plan a better future, how much faith can I put into anything he says while he's incarcerated and trying to get back to living with me after these two incedences and then saying he quit respecting me as a parent a long time ago....although he says he's 'making himself respect me now"?

 

[Liahona]

I'm not aware of all your history and I haven't walked in your shoes. Based on what you have posted I would have a very hard time trusting him and I would not let him back home.

difficult child 1 has a history of violence towards his siblings. He went to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and came back home. Now the violence has started again. I have taken measures to protect his siblings. He wants to "earn" those measure away. He does something nice for his siblings then turns around and looks to make sure I saw. I tell him that before the safety measures go away the dynamics of the relationships with his siblings have to completely change. This is more than just a list of behaviors. The whole feel of the relationship has to change. His attitude towards them has to change. When he changes it will come across in very subtle ways. It will take a very long time. And is made worse in that he acts like a completely different person towards them when he thinks I'm not looking. I am not willing to put his siblings at risk.

I don't think its un-reasonable for difficult child to stay somewhere else. Those sound like really horrific attacks he put you through.