difficult child's diagnosis

[mom_to_3]

Now I know. difficult child came by yesterday to visit her son and believe it or not we were able to talk. She was talking nonstop and every now and again I was able to ask questions that she answered and I believe honestly.

Well, her diagnosis after a psychological test is Bipolar and borderline personality disorder. She said their are questions and she still needs to see the psychiatric. because of the bipolar diagnosis, she doesn't want to believe it. She thinks the only reason it's there is because she had been previously been diagnosis'd with it. I personally think this diagnosis is correct.

She really doesn't seem to mind what her diagnosis is, the only thing she is adamant about is that she is not going to take medication. I believe her when she says that.

She's had the borderline diagnosis in the past too, but maybe doesn't remember that and I had no input at all into this round of testing.

I think the borderline diagnosis is very telling and definitely explains our tumultuous relationship for years! It's interesting, that I have felt that she has had this "personality" really her whole life and it's been difficult to deal with her. I'm seeing much the same Personality" with her son too, and what from what I've learned over the years, my difficult child's bio mother shows the same "characteristics".

A few years ago when I studied up on borderline, pretty much the literature believed that abuse was the one thing that contributed to this happening. Last night when I looked it up again, they go ahead and also mention a genetic tendency or inheritability. I truly do believe this is what my difficult child has.

My difficult child is in therapy. I hope she has someone VERY good to help her thru this and that my difficult child wants help for it. This explains sooooo much!

 

[Fran]

mom_to_3,there is a sense of acceptance in your post. Having a name is important to me and I'm sure to you. It gives you a starting point to trying to understand her thinking. I hope she seeks help and tries to make better choices.
It would be good if she could make peace with you. It may not happen for a while but it would be a good thing.

 

[Nomad]

I think having a diagnosis is important in that it provides a vehicle for things to try in an effort to get relief or go forward... particularly medication. However..there are caveats...
1. I think minimum amounts of medications should always be used since there are side effects. Sometimes natural supplements are helpful. Ideally, a combination therapy can be tried.
2. I think emphasis on a diagnosis should be avoided. Simply, know that it is something identified and that treatments have been helpful for people in the past. Identification and treatment are key. Focus...not so much.
3. diagnosis's should not be something to be feared or used as an excuse for not going forward. Just simply as an explanation for a roadblock that can be addressed.

 

[mom_to_3]

Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate them. We have dealt with her personality and behaviors her whole life. It's not been easy AT ALL. Thru my study over the years, I believed that these diagnosis's fit her. I just found it interesting that now at 24 yrs. of age AND without any input from family, that she came up with the same diagnosis's. I hope that she and her therapist can begin to work on this. It would be great to see her get her life in order.

 

[Star*]

You know - your post sounds almost like a huge exhale.

I'm glad that you have a starting point. I never really put much stock into a lable of diagnosis because to me it didn't matter as much as the where do we go from here part...however in hindsite it was crucial in moving forward. Without a diagnosis - you have no beginning.

If medications are an issue with her - maybe you can suggest like we did with Dude for the BiPolar (BP) that she JUST TRY the medications for a month - if she gives them an honest try at the end of a month and feels better? Great - if not? stop taking them.

I'm sorry to hear that your grandson seems to be genetically linked to this at all. My largest wish was that with you raising him it wouldn't be an issue - I guess I prayed that he was a non-difficult child and just a kid who needed a very loving gma and a great stable home. You and him cross my mind a lot.

Huge hugs for your sigh of relief.
Star