difficult child's Respond To Tough Parents?

[TerryJ2]

There was a study done years ago about kids and playgrounds. At one school they had a fence around the playground. The kids played on every inch of that playground.

Then they took the fence away. The kids stayed huddled in the center of the playground, even though the toys and four square and stuff were NOT in the center.

Wow.

 

[Wonderful Family]

In many ways my husband and I have been too easy on my difficult child. Too many choices, too understanding of his rages, too busy trying to find out the WHY rather than hold him accountable for his behavior. It was this vicious cycle of being SO afraid of the rage and violence that we would do what we could to avoid it....

Food for thought - all through the years, we were supposed to be more understanding - this is what many experts told us would be more helpful. Maybe it's just me-but this seemed to be a missing piece in things like The Explosive Child. I wonder how well it would have worked though, when he was younger. Our therapist still struggles with this perspective - as good as she is.

 

[change]

I know just what you mean WonderfulFamily! I have a hard time convincing others to follow my lead with my severe-Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) daughter. She can't help herself most of the time and medication barely helps so she needs a very structured and CONSISTENT setting all of the time or else her world disrupts. She needs for the adults in the room to be in control. Half the time adults don't believe me because they think because she's being quiet that all is well or they drop the ball because they think that because things are going ok they can slack off. They just don't get that they can't rock the boat with her at all. I DO get what you mean though. Welcome to the board. It's been such a cathartic thing for me.