difficult child's visit to planned parenthood...UPDATED

[rejectedmom]

With his new girlfriend that he suposedly slept with for the first time three days ago. She says she might be pregnant. Needless to say I didn't congratulate him. I told him that the baby if it did exhist was probably somone elses child. Her urine test was not conclusive but I was wondering why she would be on the "I MIght be pregnant" kick if she had only just done the deed so to speak. I told him it was more likely that the baby if it is real was the product of her being with someone else who was smart enough to run. I said it was very likely that she was looking for a patsy to pin it on. I told him to discontinue contact with her until the baby is born and then ask for a paternity suit. OHBOY It sounds like difficult child found himself another doozy. He says she has mental health issues,Uhmmmmmmmmmmm you think? Anyway I told him that he had no business even thinking about bringing a baby into this world. I told him if he got a by to conciider himself lucky and to use a cover from now on. Better that he not do the deed at all but obviously that won't happen. I told him it sounded like she was looking to take advantage from some dumb shmoe that didn't have a clue and that he walked willingly into it. He was crying. I had a twinge of guilt but said " did you actually espect me to congratulate you?" I told him I couldn't be happy about this and would have no part of the chaous.

I told him that any male could make a baby but that a real man would wait until the time was right and he could provide for his wife and child.

I then told him that I had been planning a dinner for him since he couldn't make it to TG dinner but that I was not sure how I felt at the moment and would call if I decided to go foward with my plans.

UG! I'm definately not doing the baby thing with him. I simply cannot cope with all the surgeries and birth defects and learning disabilities that his ofspring would likely be saddled with. At least I won't be the one to have to call DSS. They are both in a program that will take that responsibility on.

I told him I was very disapointed that he seems to keep making the same kinds of bad choices over and over again.

So please lets pray the test is negative and my difficult child grows a brain and the ability to discriminate bewteen good and bad people and situations. And puts all this behind him.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

You've got my prayers, sweetie.

(((((((hugs)))))))

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks BBK I bet everyone around here is getting as tired of my difficult child's antics as I am.

 

[Anna1345]

I can only imagine how tough that was for you. {{{HUGS}}} Having a baby is something that should be enjoyed and cherished! You were right to mention that "a real man would wait until the time was right and he could provide for his wife and child." That IS so true! I will pray that this works out for the best. This new girlfriend seems like a winner <insert sarcastic smiley here>.

However, remember this. If they dtd, then there is a chance she is pregnant and a chance he is the father. I know you know the biology of it, so let me get to my point. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason even with those who would be voted "MOST likely to NEVER should have kids". BUT it can have two effects, seriously force them to really look at themselves so they DO change OR they will just get worse. I know, I know, what a crappy way to look at it. However, when people look at their lives... I mean REALLY look at their lives, they often call upon everything they know to make a decision. You have given him a good up bringing and it will be up to him to draw on that to decide what kind of father he would be or want to be for this child (or any future children).

Hang in there!!!!!

 

[WhymeMom?]

Unfortunately the mentality of many difficult children is that this is one thing they can do well....procreate...... Hope that girl friend isn't preggo and he wises up and learns from this experience.... As far as getting tired of difficult children antics we all have similar stories, so its good to hear we are not alone in dealing with their behaviors....saying prayers for your family...

 

[DDD]

Yesterday on the AOL news there was a feature "Rite Aid First To
Sell Paternity Tests". I told husband "somebody in the CD family is
going to need about that before long...sure enough.

I have NO idea how the tests work (or really even if they exist!)
but that is what the news line said. Why not call and find out?
Karen and her difficult child sweated out a full nine month pregnancy for
no reason except the remote possibility that maybe his girlfriend was
telling the truth. Not.

Meanwhile, I've traveled that road and you have my sympathies.
DDD

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks all, The girlfriend is supposed to go back to PP next week for a followup. She is a client of the same service that is working with my difficult child. I have a call in to give them a heads up on this.
I'm still not feeling much like cooking the dinner but will probably go through with it.

PS It seems that my original post got posted several times I am sorry and if the moderator can consolidate all replies into one thread I would appreciate it. Thanks!

 

[rejectedmom]

OK the Director called me. She said that they had heard all this before and that 1) They didn't think there was a pregnancy but would follow through with the additional testing and 2) If there is a baby they do not think it is my son's. So for now I will relax but keep in the back of my mind that I still might be dealing with this again in the future. UG!!!!!!!! The DRAMA. Mental illness STINKS!!!! -RM

 

[hearts and roses]

{{{RM}}} I think some female difficult child's love all the drama that surrounds the possibility of being pregnant - it gets them this amazingly potent attention (sometimes good, usually bad). I think my difficult child has the potential of being one of those difficult child's. Sadly.

In any event, I hope that your difficult child is not the father IF there is even a "bun in the oven". Take a deep breath. Make the dinner and enjoy the time - there is no sense in worrying over the unknown right now anyway. Jeez, if only a swift smack to difficult child's head would do it, huh?

 

[Hound dog]

Sending (((hugs)))

 

[rejectedmom]

Daisylover, thank you never a dull moment with my difficult child that is for sure.

Jog,

{{{RM}}} I think some female difficult child's love all the drama that surrounds the possibility of being pregnant - it gets them this amazingly potent attention (sometimes good, usually bad). I think my difficult child has the potential of being one of those difficult child's. Sadly.</div></div>

I hope she doesn't put you through that.

In any event, I hope that your difficult child is not the father IF there is even a "bun in the oven". Take a deep breath. Make the dinner and enjoy the time - there is no sense in worrying over the unknown right now anyway.

Yes that is what I decided. Having the dinner is about family not just difficult child.

Jeez, if only a swift smack to difficult child's head would do it, huh?

If only

 

[ScentofCedar]

:slap:

That's scary, RM.

Barbara

 

[Suz]

Oh Lordy...

Hugs,
Suz

 

[KFld]

Is her name wingnut by any chance???? :smile:

 

[rejectedmom]

:rofl: Karen you crack me up!

 

[Star*]

(from the scene in Forest Gump where he and Jenny are in the corn field outside her childhood home on bended knees praying)

Please God make Rejected mom's kid grow a brain and fly far far away from there (crazy girl).
Please God make Rejected mom's kid grow a brain and fly far far away from there (crazy girl).

-Some days I make about as much sense as a difficult child.

 

[rejectedmom]

Every prayer is one more wisper in God's ear. Thanks!