Do you think this is legal?

[dirobb]

i had my difficult child ss in a private catholic school. His siblings had attended so it was just a given that we would enroll him there once he came to live with us. (his mom wanted him to go to this school, but would not help fund it)
Prior to this we had one experience with a difficult child in the older kids class. This paticular young man spent most of his days in the isolated desk in the hallway. I don't know where he is now but I hope he is getting help.
Anyhow, once we placed our difficult child we thought that he would benefit from the smaller classes. Unfortunately, he started in 6th grade and the teachers were accustomed to the students completing there work, grading their own papers. He used this to his advantage. He would fill up math homework with numbers to look like he had done his homework and did not grade his work. For us it became painfully clear that this was not a good enviornment for him.
I think we would all like to believe that they want to help the children. But I think sometimes they are limited to what they can provide. They just don't have the funding for special programs or extra people in the classroom to help with difficult child's or one's that fall out of the norm parameters. Maybe they see this as a way to help supplement additional resources (by forcing both siblings to be at the school if the difficult child is to be enrolled)
I moved my difficult child ss14 to a charter school. It is a no cost-private school. Classes are small, kept at a 10-12 max. He's not doing any better, because he refuses to do any work. But they keep an eye on him and we've been working together. But they have no homework. Which for us was a huge benefit. I just know for my difficult child the larger school is too distracting.

Good luck with deciding which way to go. But, I agree that your easy child may need the stability and friendships. I know how trapped you feel when you can't afford the school any longer. I had to put my two pcs in public shool for high school. I could not afford it even if we would have gotten assistance for one.

 

[meowbunny]

Bugsy, I didn't assume that this school wasn't good for your son. It obviously was. However, it is also pretty obvious that they don't want your son. To me, given a choice of only being able to have one child there, I would opt for my daughter to be there.

I say this for several reasons -- according to you, she has been robbed of a lot of her childhood because of her brother. To have to lose going to school with her friends because of him would, to me, be a true tragedy. She's thriving at this school. Whether it is your son or your daughter, both will be forced into an overcrowded school. Your daughter needs and deserves some special consideration if for no other reason than she will always get the short end of the stick for attention, etc. simply because her brother needs more. This is one area where you could be sure that she gets something back.

As to the overcrowding and no one-on-one for your son in the public school, that may be true, but I'd check before I dismissed it out of hand. Find out the types of Special Education classes they have. Some for behavorial issues actually have the kids have recess and lunch at a different time from the main students. Even if they didn't, I'd still at least give it a try. As I said, they do have options that a private school wouldn't have. They are mandated to give him the best education possible. Public school might not be the best option but it may not be the worst, either.

I'm sorry you are being forced into a choice like this. I'm even sorrier that your school is this callous. Considering they had told you that you would be getting some kind of aid and then totally reneging, I'd say it was giving you a very clear message, especially in light of we won't keep your son unless your daughter stays. They may have classes for special needs children, but that certainly doesn't mean they want them and, if they can find a way to get rid of a special needs child, they will. Sadly, it sounds like they have found a way for your family. I'm truly sorry.

 

[witzend]

Being a private school they have the legal right to accept or deny access to whatever children they want.

Personally, the "rule" sounds bogus. I hope you will find a way to make it right for your family.

 

[Bugsy]

I agree with a lot of what as been said.

Please understand that I have looked into the public schools in depth. I have asked a million questions and trust me when I say they are in no way able to give my son what he needs.

When you speak of public education they DO NOT have to provide the best, they must provide satisfactory and that is a very subjective term. I sat in many meetings with child study members who would repeatedly turn down requests by teachers, parents and adminastrators because the request was not necessary or the data did not deem it needed and so on, even when reports showed the child was not doing well enough the request would not be considered because The districts have to provide a satisfactory, not excellent education.

A very sad statement I think. I even said to a child study member-- so on a grading scale we must provide an education that would be graded as a C? That districts, schools, teachers, parents and so on expect us to produce children that show "excellence in education" , "lifelong learners" and a host of other buzz phrases but we only have to provide them with a medicore education. And the child study member repeated the phrase, "By law we have to provide a satisfactory education."

Anyway, I really did not think this question would evoke as much emotion. I will find a way for both children to remain in the school. I will have to deal with the concept that the school's policy is disgusting and unfair to any other difficult child/easy child sibling that comes through.

 

[dreamer]

Sadly, what you say is true, for ALL the kids, difficult child or not. ANd many people fall in between the cracks, unable to provide education at a private facility or institution for their children. Is it fair? not at all.
Considering this school seems to have sort of attempted to let you know they really do not want your difficult child there, how long do you think it will be before it is no longer such a good placement for your difficult child?

Have you posted this problem on the Special Education forum here? Sheila and/ or Martie might have some insight or ideas that might be helpful?
If you are able to find a way - without their financial assistance- for both children to remain in this school- this might be just what this school was hoping- that you would find a way to fund their continued education there- without them giving you assistance.

I wish you the best of luck with this. I hope it turns out how you want it to.

 

[dreamer]

You know, due to media sensationalism etc.......I very much fear more and more of our difficult children are going to be less and less welcome in places where powers that be CAN find ways to exclude our difficult children. Very sad.

 

[Star*]

Bugsy,

NOT evoke such an emotional response???? From THIS group?? About one of our own being wronged??? - (laughing) surely you jest! lol.

Over the years - I have not only become passionate about my son and his education or rather (lack thereof), but I feel like I've come to know a lot of folks here - and their children and when you post that we (we on a whole) are not getting the best for our (our on a whole) kids - you betcha kiddo - we're all fire breathing dragons.

As far as religion, and politics - we take a blind eye - doesn't matter what creedo or higher power you are - you're still welcome and cared about and will get everyones heart-felt advice and concern.

-We aint rookies ya know. (we also don't have very good English today either)

You will find a way - adjust, adapt, move on.

Hugs
Sta

 

[jannie]

Well Bugsy--

It seems as though you are in need of additional income to your household so that your children can continue to recieve a private education....Today while driving I came upon an advertisement sign promoting a new business...perhaps you can purchase your own franchise....

The sign read..."Have poop? We scoop!" Leave the cleaning to us...contact us at www.pooppickup.com or call us at 1-800-555-POOP.

Clearly, there is flexibility with days and hours worked....no boss looking over your shoulder.....

Please let me know if you want additional information....

Sending hugs--Glad to hear the one on one support teacher is working out so well.