Does it even matter?

[pasajes4]

Teenage angst + mental illness+ trauma= a tough situation for everyone who cares about her

 

[T Rene']

So the 14 year old daughter is dead set on doing whatever she wants no matter what her dad and I or anyone else says or does. She just doesn't seem to give a damn what the consequences are for her choices, actions, attitude or behavior. I'm not trying to be overbearing or the parent that only points out the negative things she does. Does giving consequences or punishment or trying to discipline her and be a parent that is active and involved in her life and what she does even matter anymore?

We ground her she finds a way to sneak around it. We give her positive praise so she quits doing what we praised her for. She lies about everything good or bad, wrong or write. She is starting to throw her life down the drain. She doesn't seem to care if the things she does gets her kicked out of school or off her softball team. It's like the more trouble she gets in and drama she causes the happier she is. I keep wondering why I'm even trying to parent her right now. I guess I care to much to let her just run wild. I'm trying to raise her to be responsible but she says she has to much responsibility. I'm trying to teach her to make good choices so she doesn't get in trouble. I am so worried about her and don't know what I can do differently or what I can do that I'm not already doing. I spend time with her one on one, so does her dad and grandparents. She isn't starved for love and attention.

Bless ur heart ! I know that these things can worry & stess a parent to the max Sounds like u are doin all u know to do ... Ck the medications for sure & gud luck in all this Prayers for u & family

 

[4Tall]

My bipolar 17 year old had to hit bottom with his acting out, violence, & drug selling/use. Ended up getting arrested last year and spent last summer in juvenile hall and moved to a residential treatment program in Utah last Fall. Now he is there, making some mistakes and learning a lot. Sometimes we cannot keep them safe or influence them enough at this age.

His arrest last year seemed horrible at the time, but was actually a blessing in disguise. He wasn't going to stop until he killed someone or was killed himself. He cared so little about his life or his impact on others.

So he is learning the hard way. And will be on probation once he comes home at the end of the year. So thankfully I will have his probation officer on my side if the acting out begins again.

So keep insisting that she follow your rules. You seem to have a really clear head on what you need to do to stay on top of her choices.