Does my daughter need Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
- Thread starter ShesMakingMeCrazy
- Start date
Have you considered creating a similar scenario with your daughter that you have with your son. with a specific activity a couple nights a week that doesn't include son? I would suggest a completely different type of activity - for example, horseback riding. So that the two interests are not in any way competitive with the other child.
MommaK
Member
Yes, I did that. We would go and sit for an hour or 2 and talk or I would take her to the batting cages if she wanted. At first she enjoyed it, then her moods became chaotic and she began to refuse to go unless it's exactly when she wants. She will ask to go do something when I'm cooking supper or helping the youngest with homework or trying to clean house or even use the bathroom. If I say ok as soon as I finish this we will go she flips a switch and starts yelling and calling me every vile name under the sun or she falls apart into tears telling me I'm never there for her and never try to understand.
My daughter is very jealous of my time and has no patience for anyone or anything that takes my time and attention away from her. She has told us she wants 100% of my time and attention.
Some back story:
I have been raising her since she was 17 months old. Her bio mom pretty much walked away and never looked back when she was 6 months old. My mother in law helped my husband raise her until we got together. Bio mom would appear when she had a new boyfriend/fiance/husband. She has told my daughter many times that I will never want her like I do my son, wrong. My daughter was my first love and my first child. She made me a mommy. I have allowed the horrid things birth mom has told her manipulate me into giving in and spoiling her more than I should, I can't undo the past tho. Bio mom has also told her that no one will want a child like her or ever truly love a child like her.
She is not just spoiled and haVing a hard time adjusting to the relite that lif aucks sometimes and we dont alwas get what we want when we want it. She is truly bipolar. She sees what she is doing but is powerless to control it. She keeps a journal of her moods to help her stay aware of them and what triggers the changes. She also has vocal and motor tics and at one time pulled eyelashes and eyebrows out. She has cut in the past as well. She has panic attacks, and anxiety. She is her own worst critic. All of this is ways she has tried to cope on her own before we realized there was more to it all and she needed help.
My daughter is very jealous of my time and has no patience for anyone or anything that takes my time and attention away from her. She has told us she wants 100% of my time and attention.
Some back story:
I have been raising her since she was 17 months old. Her bio mom pretty much walked away and never looked back when she was 6 months old. My mother in law helped my husband raise her until we got together. Bio mom would appear when she had a new boyfriend/fiance/husband. She has told my daughter many times that I will never want her like I do my son, wrong. My daughter was my first love and my first child. She made me a mommy. I have allowed the horrid things birth mom has told her manipulate me into giving in and spoiling her more than I should, I can't undo the past tho. Bio mom has also told her that no one will want a child like her or ever truly love a child like her.
She is not just spoiled and haVing a hard time adjusting to the relite that lif aucks sometimes and we dont alwas get what we want when we want it. She is truly bipolar. She sees what she is doing but is powerless to control it. She keeps a journal of her moods to help her stay aware of them and what triggers the changes. She also has vocal and motor tics and at one time pulled eyelashes and eyebrows out. She has cut in the past as well. She has panic attacks, and anxiety. She is her own worst critic. All of this is ways she has tried to cope on her own before we realized there was more to it all and she needed help.
MommaK
Member
Lately there are is no respect for boundaries. She just does whatever she wants when she wants and does not care what kind of trouble it may get her in. Like yesterday she got excited and started skipping thru a restaurant touching random people on the shoulder and giving them high fives. When we got her to sit down she didn't see a thing wrong with what she did. I just found put she also climbed in a UPS truck while the driver wasn't in it and just sat down till he got back. Today she had a friend over and they went for a walk. I called to find out where she was and she was a mile from home on her way to the grocery store walking because the 2 of them wanted food and the friend had money. No one knew where she was until and she didn't bother to tell anyone where she was going. Never mind that I ask where are you and what are you doing. I had to get in my car and go find her using the general location she gave me.
This week she is on an upswing so she is struggling to sleep, she has crazy amounts of energy and as long as I don't say anything to bring her back down to earth she is laughingand smiling. Last week and for several weeks before she was down and depressed and raging at everything and everyone.
I'm exhausted from just trying to keep up with her and her ever changing moods, not to mention the randomness of the things she does. I feel like if I don't keep up and try to prevent or stop some of the things she does she will end up getting hurt or worse. I also try to prevent legal trouble before it starts. Now if she gets herself in legal trouble I won't just jump in and save her, she has to know there are consequences for actions and decisions, but I work hard to guide her to right decisions and not ones based on how she feels at the moment.
This week she is on an upswing so she is struggling to sleep, she has crazy amounts of energy and as long as I don't say anything to bring her back down to earth she is laughingand smiling. Last week and for several weeks before she was down and depressed and raging at everything and everyone.
I'm exhausted from just trying to keep up with her and her ever changing moods, not to mention the randomness of the things she does. I feel like if I don't keep up and try to prevent or stop some of the things she does she will end up getting hurt or worse. I also try to prevent legal trouble before it starts. Now if she gets herself in legal trouble I won't just jump in and save her, she has to know there are consequences for actions and decisions, but I work hard to guide her to right decisions and not ones based on how she feels at the moment.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Is she seeing a psychiatrist? I assume she is. Medication? Did bio. Mother drink or do drugs during her pregnancy? Does your daughter hallucinate? Has she ever bern evaluated for Tourettes Syndrome? Have you ever heard of attachment didorder/insecure attachment...this causes the child to only care about herself and happens when a child has losses and instability in caregivers in the earliest years. Common in adoptive children and lately when the parents divorce young and the child changes major caregivers often or is allowed to linger in crib without normal attention to needs.
Sorry for all the questions
Trying to get more clarity.
.
I'm sorry that things are so hard right now.
Sorry for all the questions
Trying to get more clarity..
I'm sorry that things are so hard right now.
Last edited:
MommaK
Member
Yes on psychiatrist. Just started seeing one. Has not started medications yet, but will soon. Mother did smoke but to mone and husband's knowledge did not drink or do drugs while pregnant. She does not seem to hallucinate. The tics were brought on in first grade by Ritalin. They then became a coping mechanism for stress. Yes, I have heard of attachment disorder. I have considered that a strong possibility and am waiting to talk to psychiatrist next week when we meet. She has not always been the way she is now tho we have seen red flags off and on since she was around 3. Her bio mom never was a caregiver for her. husband was the one that did it all. When they moved back in with his parents mother in law kind of slowly took over and pushed him out of the way. She didn't really want to allow us to parent her at all when we got together. Now mother in law and I are on the same page on everything while husband is fighting his own demons and not putting any focus on anyone else's problems. He doesn't want to parent right now so I do what I have to and I do it with my MILs help and the help of my best friend.
ShesMakingMeCrazy
New Member
That sounds really tough, especially since you don't have your husband's support. It sounds like she really needs a mood stabilizer. I'm a nurse practitioner that does psychiatric medications for adults. I would definitely try Lamictal, Depakote or Abilify. My dtr is on Lamictal and Abilify at the moment. The Abilify has worked well for mood stabilization, impulse control and depression. That's not to say that we don't still have problems (obviously), but the frequency of outbursts has decreased. She used to get so depressed that she would take to the bed and be unable to get up or function. The only down side of the Abilify is the weight gain. She has had weight problems all her life, but it seems to have gotten worse since starting the Abilify. She was on Metformin to help curb her appetite, but she is no longer on it. While hospitalized for 2 wks she has gained 30 POUNDS! She will need to do a lot of Tae Kwon Do to lose it again.
