Drugs…I’m not sure it will ever end.
- Thread starter lovemysons
- Start date
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Mom did not show up this morning to pickup my grandson and take him to a Dr appointment.
She just texted me awhile ago and told me to take him back to Texas.
I fear this is not going to end well.
She just texted me awhile ago and told me to take him back to Texas.
I fear this is not going to end well.
Have you contacted the DCF office that helped make this transition? Do they have any jurisdiction?
How far of a drive is it to take him home? I think I would still, especially when she said she was going to pick him up for a doctor's appointment. Keep us updated. Prayers for you guys.
Ksm
How far of a drive is it to take him home? I think I would still, especially when she said she was going to pick him up for a doctor's appointment. Keep us updated. Prayers for you guys.
Ksm
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
I drove down to Texas with my grandson tonight and dropped him off at their house. I already miss him and told him so. He is such a good grandson.
New leaf…grandson would like to live with us but his mom has custody and won’t let him. As far as I know this is not his decision. Do you have other information?
Ksm…I did let CPS child protective services know what is going on. I’m not very impressed with them so far. My grandson left a message for the CPS lady last night. I talked to her this morning and told her my grandson had more information he wanted to share. She actually said she interviewed him twice and that he said at that time he told her all he knew.
So I guess she’s not interested in anything further. Again I asked the CPS lady if they had drug tested mom to which she replied she could not tell me but that it is an ongoing investigation.
I’m depressed tonight.
New leaf…grandson would like to live with us but his mom has custody and won’t let him. As far as I know this is not his decision. Do you have other information?
Ksm…I did let CPS child protective services know what is going on. I’m not very impressed with them so far. My grandson left a message for the CPS lady last night. I talked to her this morning and told her my grandson had more information he wanted to share. She actually said she interviewed him twice and that he said at that time he told her all he knew.
So I guess she’s not interested in anything further. Again I asked the CPS lady if they had drug tested mom to which she replied she could not tell me but that it is an ongoing investigation.
I’m depressed tonight.
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
My grandsons preference to live with his paternal Aunty was granted by the judge on my grands case. Without even letting me know what was happening. We went to our routine court date, the judge had a conference with the boys and the younger (he was 14) wanted to be with his brother, who had gone to live with his aunt. The judge granted it immediately. The social worker said that when kids are 14 and up, the courts listen to what their preference is. (Within reason and safe).
Your grandson needs to be forthcoming on what is going on with his mom. That’s a hard one, if your grands are like mine, who were told to keep secrets from us. They were fiercely loyal despite all they went through. It took a while for them to see they were not being treated well. Thinking back to how their lives were growing up, trust was a big issue.
CPS is not easy to work with, we went through years of reporting concerns. But, once the grands were removed from their paternal grandparents, the ball got rolling. I became their foster grandparent, but CPS goal was still reunification with their parents. But, their parents were both on the streets and eventually through the courts lost their parental rights.
I know how hard and hurtful this is, LMS. You have done the best thing in letting your grandkids know you are there for them. Hopefully CPS will follow through with the investigation and see what is actually going on. In the meantime, please take very good care of yourself. Keep notes and dates on your conversations with the kids or mom. Praying for you and your grands.
(((Hugs)))
New Leaf
Heart breaking. But he is old enough to reach out for help...and he knows you will be there for him. I hope he can get enrolled in s hood and have teachers he can trust to get help.
Our grandson is 3 and I am scared for him to live full time with either parent. So we keep doing what we do...and hope we live a long life. Ksm
Our grandson is 3 and I am scared for him to live full time with either parent. So we keep doing what we do...and hope we live a long life. Ksm
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
My experience is the same as New Leaf's. The teen can choose and express where they want to live, even against the parent's wishes, which is to say that the older child could assert a preference to the judge and the judge listens. The judge decides.
A child is not a possession of the parent. A child is the responsibility of the parent. The parent's rights are conditional. Not exclusive. End of story.
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
But there are no courts involved. This is just a CPS investigation. CPS doesn’t handle custody.
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Very gently I write to you that this is not a case of custody. It is child neglect and abuse. From your posts, the kids are not attending school and are not homeschooled. Mom is using meth and threatening to commit suicide if they tell. That’s emotional abuse. Mom had your grandson arrested under false pretenses. That is beyond comprehension. Unfortunately, it is their word against hers. But there are other ways to determine neglect. Have your grands had regular dental check ups or physical exams?
Don’t let the CPS worker gaslight you. They routinely remove kids from homes. Who knows what the mom may be saying on the other end? She is most likely more concerned about the SS benefits than the health and welfare of her own children. It’s just an awful situation LMS.
I’m sorry, this hits so close to my ordeal with my grands. We can only do so much, especially if the kids are trained to stick up for the abusive parent and to fear authority figures. There’s not much you can do unless your grandson is willing to push for his rights.
Your being available to your grandkids is a shining light and lifeline for them.
Hang in there. Prayers for answers and solutions.
New Leaf
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
In a heartbeat, CPS can handle custody and they do. They yank the kids. They put kids in foster care, often with grandparents. They petition the court to terminate parental rights. All of this is custodial.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
lms, what is going on?
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
I’m sorry I didn’t get back to y’all any sooner. Went to my home away from home (the casino) to destress. Doesn’t always work.
Grandson told me today that mom WILL let him live with us and go to school now! Yay!!! So that’s the good news. The bad news is I can’t get her to respond to me about a notarized caregiver power of attorney.
I texted the lady at CPS and asked her if they’re involved with the courts in anyway or a judge and she didn’t respond all day. I even put question marks on another text letting her know I was waiting for her response. Nothing. Like I said…I’m not very impressed with CPS.
Crayola…my grandson is 16. The other 2 are 14 and 11 year old granddaughters.
Grandson wants me to pick him up on Monday. It is a 3 hour round trip drive to his other grandmother’s where they live and back to our house in Oklahoma.
I hope I have everything I need this time to get him enrolled in school. We’ll see.
Thanks for all your info and for listening. Also sharing your own experiences.
Grandson told me today that mom WILL let him live with us and go to school now! Yay!!! So that’s the good news. The bad news is I can’t get her to respond to me about a notarized caregiver power of attorney.
I texted the lady at CPS and asked her if they’re involved with the courts in anyway or a judge and she didn’t respond all day. I even put question marks on another text letting her know I was waiting for her response. Nothing. Like I said…I’m not very impressed with CPS.
Crayola…my grandson is 16. The other 2 are 14 and 11 year old granddaughters.
Grandson wants me to pick him up on Monday. It is a 3 hour round trip drive to his other grandmother’s where they live and back to our house in Oklahoma.
I hope I have everything I need this time to get him enrolled in school. We’ll see.
Thanks for all your info and for listening. Also sharing your own experiences.
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Well I didn’t pick my grandson up today. Mom still has not agreed to sign the notarized power of attorney with me. Though grandson told me late this afternoon that she would.
I talked to the kids uncle (mom’s brother) from California today. He is such a nice young man. Even told me he wished he had known my son was in California (that’s where son was when he was hit and killed).
Uncle says he knows his sister is using drugs again and that he talked to CPS today. He said his sister needs to be removed from the house and sent to rehab. He also agrees that the 2 oldest would thrive in our home while his mother takes care of the youngest 3. He also said he has plans to fly to Texas and help his mom get the house in order and repair things.
I hope we can all go before a judge or decision room sooner rather than later so the kids can get on with their lives.
A week ago when my 16 year old grandson was here, my husband found some times table and division worksheets and printed them for grandson to work on. They were third grade level worksheets. He could not do the division worksheet at all and he couldn’t add 8 plus 8 in his head.
His 14 year old sister is a different story. She is the star of the family and also the one who handled the most responsibility. She was in honors classes last year while mom didn’t enroll her in school this year.
11 year old can’t spell or write anything other than her name. She is the rebellious one and gets her way or else! She has told everyone she wants 8 kids when she grows up. Sadly…making a baby may be all she is capable of doing when she grows up.
This is all so sad.
Drugs drugs drugs. Their father and their mother. My grandchildren need a lot of help!
I talked to the kids uncle (mom’s brother) from California today. He is such a nice young man. Even told me he wished he had known my son was in California (that’s where son was when he was hit and killed).
Uncle says he knows his sister is using drugs again and that he talked to CPS today. He said his sister needs to be removed from the house and sent to rehab. He also agrees that the 2 oldest would thrive in our home while his mother takes care of the youngest 3. He also said he has plans to fly to Texas and help his mom get the house in order and repair things.
I hope we can all go before a judge or decision room sooner rather than later so the kids can get on with their lives.
A week ago when my 16 year old grandson was here, my husband found some times table and division worksheets and printed them for grandson to work on. They were third grade level worksheets. He could not do the division worksheet at all and he couldn’t add 8 plus 8 in his head.
His 14 year old sister is a different story. She is the star of the family and also the one who handled the most responsibility. She was in honors classes last year while mom didn’t enroll her in school this year.
11 year old can’t spell or write anything other than her name. She is the rebellious one and gets her way or else! She has told everyone she wants 8 kids when she grows up. Sadly…making a baby may be all she is capable of doing when she grows up.
This is all so sad.
Drugs drugs drugs. Their father and their mother. My grandchildren need a lot of help!
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Hi LMS,
Lots of prayers going up for you and your grands.
(((Hugs)))
Leaf
Lots of prayers going up for you and your grands.
It’s good that another family member is getting involved. I hope that CPS will take immediate action.
Here’s what happened in my case. My grands were turned over to me as temporary foster parent while I worked on getting my license. That meant taking classes, home inspection, finger printing, background check. CPS sent out letters to relatives on both sides informing them of the kids removal from home and asking what level of involvement if any they could provide. Their parents were given opportunity to go through steps to regain custody, but failed to do so in the timeframe given. My grands were assigned a guardian ad litem, who represented them in court. We had quarterly court appearances where the judge inquired of the kids progress. The parental rights were eventually removed and I became legal guardian.
It is very sad. I’m so sorry for the pain of it. The frustration, the waiting. Deep breaths and lots of prayers! Hang in there!
(((Hugs)))
Leaf
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Thank you so much for your heartfelt rely New Leaf. WOW! What a process. I had no idea. What a good grandmother you are.
This situation is so much more critical than I knew. I feel so bad for the kids.
My 14 year old granddaughter and I were texting today and sharing poetry we have written.
Here is one from her…
I am just a pawn in their game just a mere piece under their control fighting to save myself from the impending doom that's bound to crush me one day or another. Their tactics are no more than mere manipulation so nobody else can predict their next move and what they are to do. I am a pawn. A pawn that is used to keep all the others safe so they don't get crushed underneath the pressure that burns like liquid flames going down your throat only to burn the inside of you so anybody on the outside is oblivious to the havoc that's wrecking the inside. I'm a pawn one that has lost all hope being pinned into a corner with no escape, and nobody to stand behind me to back up the position I'm in. I am a pawn.
Sad that she feels no one is there for her. She’s 14 and this is what she writes alone late at night.
I pray we can stand behind her and back up the position she’s in. She also told me that she looks forward to staying with us so she can “start living instead of just being alive.”
This situation is so much more critical than I knew. I feel so bad for the kids.
My 14 year old granddaughter and I were texting today and sharing poetry we have written.
Here is one from her…
I am just a pawn in their game just a mere piece under their control fighting to save myself from the impending doom that's bound to crush me one day or another. Their tactics are no more than mere manipulation so nobody else can predict their next move and what they are to do. I am a pawn. A pawn that is used to keep all the others safe so they don't get crushed underneath the pressure that burns like liquid flames going down your throat only to burn the inside of you so anybody on the outside is oblivious to the havoc that's wrecking the inside. I'm a pawn one that has lost all hope being pinned into a corner with no escape, and nobody to stand behind me to back up the position I'm in. I am a pawn.
Sad that she feels no one is there for her. She’s 14 and this is what she writes alone late at night.
I pray we can stand behind her and back up the position she’s in. She also told me that she looks forward to staying with us so she can “start living instead of just being alive.”
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Well. I got all happy. Until I read on.
I hope he never has to go back.
Good.
This is so sad and concerning, the poem. I pray that she can come and live with you.
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Copa…our grandson is not with us yet. I still need mom to agree to me in text or by phone conversation that she will sign the power of attorney. She told grandson that in an accident we would then be able to make life and death decisions regarding grandson and she didn’t like that.
So ridiculous! In an emergency we need the right to have grandson treated! We would never make a “life and death” decision without involving mom!
So ridiculous! In an emergency we need the right to have grandson treated! We would never make a “life and death” decision without involving mom!
lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Mom likes to have all the authority without any of the responsibility. She acted this way being next of kin during our son’s funeral arrangements too. Even at one point told the funeral director that he was not to speak to us again without her permission (texted him at 2:30am!)
She and our son had been separated for years while she went on to have 2 more babies with 2 different men while still married to our son.
by the way…my husband and I paid for the whole funeral. She paid nothing. And she collected on a wrongful death claim in regard's to the woman who hit our son on the highway.
Now she collects our son’s social security on each of our grandchildren.
My grandson told me last week that they once went 4 months without barely eating.
Point being that mom uses the kids to her benefit and throws her weight around to everyone regarding custody.
Right now granddaughter tells me mom is not allowing them to see us, our daughter (their aunt) or my mom (their great grandmother).
I think the other grandmother (her mom) has kept quiet all this time because she has “always protected her” and “shielded her from consequences.” According to mom’s brother.
We’ll see if CPS drops the ball or not.
Husband and I may have to hire a family law attorney. Our grandchildren have suffered long enough. Occasional weekend visits with our grandchildren sure didn’t tell the whole story. And they’ve been trained to cover for mom. Hence the poem our precious granddaughter wrote.
Thank you all for the prayers and support.
She and our son had been separated for years while she went on to have 2 more babies with 2 different men while still married to our son.
by the way…my husband and I paid for the whole funeral. She paid nothing. And she collected on a wrongful death claim in regard's to the woman who hit our son on the highway.
Now she collects our son’s social security on each of our grandchildren.
My grandson told me last week that they once went 4 months without barely eating.
Point being that mom uses the kids to her benefit and throws her weight around to everyone regarding custody.
Right now granddaughter tells me mom is not allowing them to see us, our daughter (their aunt) or my mom (their great grandmother).
I think the other grandmother (her mom) has kept quiet all this time because she has “always protected her” and “shielded her from consequences.” According to mom’s brother.
We’ll see if CPS drops the ball or not.
Husband and I may have to hire a family law attorney. Our grandchildren have suffered long enough. Occasional weekend visits with our grandchildren sure didn’t tell the whole story. And they’ve been trained to cover for mom. Hence the poem our precious granddaughter wrote.
Thank you all for the prayers and support.
