Enco w 15 year old - at my wits end

[travelingmom]

We are dealing with this too, I'm so sorry! My son is almost 8. We have him on a daily laxative, and have been told by a GI, two psychs, and regular Dr. this is the one and only way to "solve" the problem. If we are not vigilant with giving it to him, it goes back to what you've described above. But since starting him on the laxative it has helped tremendously.

My son is happy to take a laxative every day since I mix it in tang, which is not normally a drink of choice at our house, so that may help?? Pop? One of my son's psychiatric's said pop is a natural laxative, so he recommended that. I was worried about giving him too much (we use the stuff at Sams Club), but the GI Dr. said that the problem of having too much laxative is so minor in comparison to constipation from endo, that I had my fears mixed up. So my son gets 1 full capful (cap not cup. ) every night before bed. Our GI Dr. said the goal is to have him poop once a day in the toilet.

Another thing that helped my son is to use wet wipes instead of toilet paper. (we just got him to use toilet paper again, but may go back to wet wipes, since he still comes out and asks us every single time if he is clean) Maybe this would help him??

Also some other things we've learned, in order to keep the fighting to a minimum, to get him to sit on the toilet, we reward him. If he goes poop in the toilet without being forced and wipes on his own, he get's 15 coins. This goes towards a treasure out of the treasure box. (he actually only needs 15 coins to get a treasure too, we decided for the pooping he was allowed a treasure EVERY time, so that he would be motivated, and he has been)

I know a 15 year old is way different than a 8 year old (I have a 15 year old too, so I get it) But you may have to up the ante for a while and you may be surprised by the results, I hope. Thinking of treasures for a 15 year old does sound more expensive, but maybe extra video game time? dessert night with dad? gallon of ice cream? 1 extra late night over the weekend? Any app of choice on phone? Just brain storming....Rewards work better than consequences, at least from what the professionals are telling me.

Good Luck!! Mostly on swaying your husband....that seem's to be my problem too so I can't help you there.

 

[TerryJ2]

Welcome, Betty B. I hear you!

I'm only a mom, not a dr, but between the lack of hygiene, the ADHD, the hoarding and failing a grade, I'm going to guess that your son has Asperger's. He's also got allergies and as others pointed out, possible problems with-medications.

I like the idea of disposable underwear.

My son uses WetWipes and it has worked very well. A few yrs ago, we had a Come to Jesus Meeting and I stood and watched him and explained step-by-step what he was supposed to be doing. You would think that a middleschooler would know, but he didn't really. These kids insist they know everything.
Don't buy wipes with-a picture of a baby on them! Even if they're on sale. It's not worth the ego issues.

Have you taken your son off of cheese and milk (casein) and wheat? Even if he eats junk food at school, you can still control what he eats at home. This will help.
Also, I sneak polyethylene glycol into my son's orange juice and he doesn't even know.

Here's an article that may be of use to you: http://www.constipation-remedies-for-all.com/encopresis.html

I'd buy slipcovers for the furniture and assume that you will be washing them at least once a week.

 

[Betty B]

For everyone that posted.....

Thank you so very much! I don't feel so frustrated and alone. And just to have someone say, "I understand" made me feel so much LESS like a horrible person for feeling the way I feel. For those of you who have 'been there, done that" with this condition, thanks for your words of encouragement.

I think that's what I needed....just SOMEONE to say, "I understand how you feel and what you're going through!"

This weekend was ok...I was able to revert back to just 'hushing up' and keeping in mind that he can't help it.

Dad and I had a go-around or two about keeping the issue contained. I backed off on the suggestion for incontinence products but did restate my need for the issue to be cleaned up or contained. I can't deal with it being everywhere. That's just not an option. It just isn't.

He said that if I find poo anywhere, to let him know and he will clean it or let SS know he needs to clean it.

We'll see how it goes.

Update on the medical side of things....some of you have asked. We did have him go to a pediatric specialist. They are claiming he is cleaned out now (via xray) and we should be on the 'tail-end' of the issue. The doctor is estimating maybe another 6 mos or so until his colon which is VERY stretched out goes back to normal. He has to do PT to assist with biofeedback and stengthening muscles. And if we could just get him to SIT. Some of the accidents could be minimized.

Here's to hoping there's only 6 months left!

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, that's great that you were able to get testing done! Now you can give him feedback by saying things like, "I know how hard it is to have your colon stretched out like that and not be able to hold it all the time. Buy you will learn and your body will heal." Reinforce the behaviors and ideas you want. Especially if he's not highly verbal. Of course, if he's like my son, he'll be okay the first time you say it, but later, he'll say "Shut up! I know!"

 

[helpangel]

So glad you have a plan going, hopefully this will resolve in a couple months, it was major work to get Angel to sit on toilet for 20 minutes 6X a day until I dug out her brothers game boy and she only got to play it while sitting on the toilet (only having one bathroom for 4 people) it did get to be a problem when she wanted to sit there for more then an hour but we worked it out. Reading books, watching TV something to entertain him while sitting there will encourage him to sit.

It's good husband is willing to help with cleaning or encouraging son to clean that should cut down on the stink a lot and by you not doing the cleaning won't have that smell imbedded in your nasal passages all the time. I know from personal experience it offends the person who is hands on cleaning it the most.

Nancy

 

[Betty B]

helpangel. something that just boggles my mind is that SS15 rejects sitting on the loo! I read that was a major issue for your child. I just don't understand how he can't understand that not sitting equate more mess in his pants?!

I DON'T understand....

 

[Sabine]

A little tip..

Since husband or SS is supposed to clean up the mess, if you are finding more than 1-2 messes a day that need attention, I'd recommend making a list and handing it to husband at a convenient time once a day. This will keep things "business like", and keeps you from coming across as "nagging" every 20 minutes. (in quotes because you're not really nagging, but they may interpret it as such). Be sure the list is just that.. no extra notes (except sweet loving ones if you want).

Good luck!

 

[helpangel]

I had a horrible time getting Angel to sit there that's why went bribery (older brother's game boy) it was a toy she loved but wasn't allowed to touch unless sitting on the toilet.

unfortunately with a 15yo young man the only forbidden object I can think of is Playboy magazine; then you are going to have a different sort of mess to clean up that you would rather not think about (or how it got on the ceiling? LOL) sorry gotta find humor where ever I can... it's a coping thing.

I know putting a tv in the bathroom is frowned upon in normal parenting circles but here the general rule is do what you have to do to get thru the day. (in other words whatever works)

Nancy

 

[Californiablonde]

I am a little confused, and pardon the question. I am wondering how it gets on the floor or the couch? I can see it getting in the bathtub when he's taking a shower, but how does it get anwhere else? Isn't he going in his pants?

 

[Betty B]

Answering Californiablonde:

when he goes in his pants, it is leakage...so it's not a solid. It leaks through his pants as he sits in it.

 

[Californiablonde]

Thanks for clarifying, Betty. That must be so frustrating. I don't have any advice but you have my sympathy.