TiredSoul
Warrior Mom since 2007
So, third visit with difficult child and the therapist - he asked to talk to me first. Told me difficult child is pretty hard on himself, appears impatient, wants to be in control, and has some problems with empathy but they don't appear autism-like.
We talked about difficult child's low frustration tolerance (LFT) and he asked how we responded to his frustration. I was honest and told him that as a baby I would give in a lot to stop him from melting down or having a tantrum. For ex. if he was screaming his head off because he wanted something - I chose not to fight the battle a lot and just let him have it. I also said a lot of times we tip toe around difficult child so the bomb doesn't go off. I told him I know that is not the right thing to do but we have so much chaos that we need some peace too. I told him last year when we put our foot down more with things he would have 2 hour rages where we would have to restrain him.
So now, I am feeling like I am to blame for the reason my child has LFT and is oppositional. So I ask - what came first 'the strong willed demanding child' or the 'passive mom'? I am not like that with my other child. He doesn't have the negative persistence difficult child has.
So whatever - he wants to do "exposure therapy". Basically putting difficult child in frustrating situations - just on the edge of what would make him explode and then helping to teach him how to respond better to the frustration emotionally. Does this seem like the right path? My child has serious self esteem issues and thinks he is no good and we all hate him. He mentions suicide and I worry about his safety - and the therapist thinks we should purposely frustrate him?!! I don't know what to think.
Anyone been through this type of therapy or have any thoughts about this? When I google low frustration tolerance I get a lot of Oppositional Defiant stuff. I know what most of the ppl on this board feel about ODD. I am just not sure if this is the right starting point for difficult child and the therapist.
We talked about difficult child's low frustration tolerance (LFT) and he asked how we responded to his frustration. I was honest and told him that as a baby I would give in a lot to stop him from melting down or having a tantrum. For ex. if he was screaming his head off because he wanted something - I chose not to fight the battle a lot and just let him have it. I also said a lot of times we tip toe around difficult child so the bomb doesn't go off. I told him I know that is not the right thing to do but we have so much chaos that we need some peace too. I told him last year when we put our foot down more with things he would have 2 hour rages where we would have to restrain him.
So now, I am feeling like I am to blame for the reason my child has LFT and is oppositional. So I ask - what came first 'the strong willed demanding child' or the 'passive mom'? I am not like that with my other child. He doesn't have the negative persistence difficult child has.
So whatever - he wants to do "exposure therapy". Basically putting difficult child in frustrating situations - just on the edge of what would make him explode and then helping to teach him how to respond better to the frustration emotionally. Does this seem like the right path? My child has serious self esteem issues and thinks he is no good and we all hate him. He mentions suicide and I worry about his safety - and the therapist thinks we should purposely frustrate him?!! I don't know what to think.
Anyone been through this type of therapy or have any thoughts about this? When I google low frustration tolerance I get a lot of Oppositional Defiant stuff. I know what most of the ppl on this board feel about ODD. I am just not sure if this is the right starting point for difficult child and the therapist.